to not behave like female authors think women behave?

[BalloonSlayer]

I don't think I have ever:

• bought a pair of expensive shoes in the wrong size that I can't afford "because they are so fabulous."

• sneered at someone for not wearing the right designer label. Or been sneered at, come to that.

• eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one evening

• woken up in bed with a complete stranger

• spent all day getting ready for a date

• tried on every outfit I own before going out, leaving every item of clothing draped around the bedroom (sub clause: then wearing the first thing I tried on)

• obsessed about whether a man would ring me or not

• given genuine thought about on which date I should sleep with a man, rather than letting my horniness or lasck thereof decide for me.

• spent a whole day in bed on my own wallowing in dating-related misery.

• pretended to be sick to get a day off work

Am I U?
Or lucky?
Or boring?

All three?

(BTW Yes I have been badly dumped and was very upset about it at the time)

I think you need to read some different books

I've done 3, 4 and 6

Hmm - have done 1 of these - not telling which though.

God no, I have never done any of those either.

In fact I don't think I've ever been on a "date"!

Do people really do the ice-cream thing?

I know plenty of people who have pretended to be sick to get a day off though (not me!).

Maybe it's just the sort of people who read those sort of books who do that sort of thing iyswim!

I have done at least 6 of those

Oh come on.... you've done the trying on every outfit thing. We've all done the trying on every outfit thing.

You are clearly a freak of nature but should read more than Bridget Jones, would suggest Madame Bovary but you'd probably just say you've never taken poison either

I don`t think Margaret Atwood ever wrote anything like that...

Well I read those sort of books!

But as cornsilk says, I obviously shouldn't.

Hmm, I don't recall any of these scenes from my reading of Virginia Woolf.

You are reading the wrong books (although I have done two of those)

(I have done a couple of those though.)

lol at everyone being so cagey!

PMSL at everyone naming highbrow female authors. I did try Virginia Woolf but got so bored I tried to chew my own leg off to escape. Like Margaret Atwood though.

Mmm, I've tried on every outfit (loads of times), spent all day obsessing over a bloke (in my younger days) and pulled a sickie (again in my younger days).

Dont understand the fascination with ice cream though!

OP, when you were dumped tho you must have spent all day obsessing over your ex, surely??

Oooh, whether he should ring.....I see!! Yep, done that!

Yes but not in bed, during the day, curtains drawn, bid tub of Ben and Jerry's blahdeblah.

I did none of those and do not read those books.
Yellow pages would be more interesting by the sound of it

Oh I will have to add another

• I have never had a gay best friend, who will advise me on what to wear. I don't think I have any gay friends, male or female

Whose books you reading OP, they sound good, lol

I've done the outfit thing, but that's it. But then, I have a life that involves more than just dating and my entire brain does not revolve around men, unlike most chick-lit characters.

Think you need to read some different books!

FWIW have had horrible break-ups etc but never spent the whole day wallowing. Do these characters not have jobs? Or perhaps they only ever get dumped at the weekend

Actually, I have pulled sickies a couple of times in my younger days when I was too hungover to get out of bed. Does that still count as being ill?

• bought a pair of expensive shoes in the wrong size that I can't afford "because they are so fabulous." - never what's so fabulous about shoes that you can't actually wear!

• sneered at someone for not wearing the right designer label. Or been sneered at, come to that. - nope

• eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one evening - tried to got about half way through and started feeling sick, given that I have a sweeter tooth than Greg Wallace I'm actually pretty sure that this means it's actually impossible.

• woken up in bed with a complete stranger - well they weren't exactly a stranger by the time it came to waking up

• spent all day getting ready for a date - nope although I have spent longer than my usual amount of time

• tried on every outfit I own before going out, leaving every item of clothing draped around the bedroom (sub clause: then wearing the first thing I tried on) - I can do this getting ready for work

• obsessed about whether a man would ring me or not - yes and I think any woman who hasn't is either lying or married to their childhood sweetheart

• given genuine thought about on which date I should sleep with a man, rather than letting my horniness or lasck thereof decide for me. - well I've thought about it but that doesn't mean to say that my horniness levels didn't get the deciding vote.

• spent a whole day in bed on my own wallowing in dating-related misery hangover

• pretended to be sick to get a day off work - yes, but then I've had some pretty tedious jobs in my time

I am re-reading a Marian Keyes at the moment Desperate.

I do love Marian. She may be chick-lit but she is the BEST chick-lit.