to not behave like female authors think women behave?

[BalloonSlayer]

I don't think I have ever:

• bought a pair of expensive shoes in the wrong size that I can't afford "because they are so fabulous."

• sneered at someone for not wearing the right designer label. Or been sneered at, come to that.

• eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one evening

• woken up in bed with a complete stranger

• spent all day getting ready for a date

• tried on every outfit I own before going out, leaving every item of clothing draped around the bedroom (sub clause: then wearing the first thing I tried on)

• obsessed about whether a man would ring me or not

• given genuine thought about on which date I should sleep with a man, rather than letting my horniness or lasck thereof decide for me.

• spent a whole day in bed on my own wallowing in dating-related misery.

• pretended to be sick to get a day off work

Am I U?
Or lucky?
Or boring?

All three?

(BTW Yes I have been badly dumped and was very upset about it at the time)

Oh LeQueen you could be onto a winner there! It sounds just like the plot of 'The Undomestic Goddess'by Sophie Kinsella. Where a successful lawyer goes off to be a housekeeper in the country, despite not knowing how to cook or clean, but the hunky gardener gets his mum to teach her and they fall in love. It's one of my faves

I've done all but 1 and 2.

Can't walk in heels so the shoe thing is lost on me (also am size 5 which is always in stock).

Don't care about designer labels - think most designer clothes are really boring. I do however sneer at this latest craze of wearing tights or leggings as trousers. Especially when combined with Big White Pants.

Has someone written a biography of me in my early 20s?

sequins I was thinking of that film with Diane Keaton, was it Baby Boom? Where she is a hugely succesful businesswoman and her cousins die and leave her their baby daughter although she knows nothing about children.

And after loads of hil-larious mishaps, she moves out to the country, makes a ton of baby food out of apples, turns it into a multi-million pound business (of COURSE), becomes a fabulous mother [of COURSE] and marries the local vet.

darlene I think you've hit the nail on the head, I am just OLD.

(I think I never obsessed about a man ringing or not because back in the day if a bloke said he would ring you tomorrow, then he did.)

< adjusts zimmer frame >

How exactly are we defining 'stranger' here?

I definitely haven't done any of the others...

Well I have pretended to be 'sick' as opposed to 'horrendously hungover', but vomit is vomit, right?

YABU to tar all female authors with a chicklit brush.

I have never in my life read a book where a woman behaves like that, what are you reading woman?

You're talking about chick lit. Women in chick lit are 2 dimensional morons. And despite being in their mid 30s or older, appear to have all the worldliness and nous of a 17 year old (this is not endearing). That's why you've never done those things. Because you aren't a moron.

I've done the ice cream one. It was Ben & Jerry's so not a huge tub in my defence!

I have pulled a sickie as well too, in my shame. I was young though!

I have done none of them.

Not least, because I have so many clothes that if I tried them all on before I went out, I wouldn't be leaving until after the pubs shut.

And don't tell me I'm the only one.

Have to admit i didn't realise eating a whole tub of ice cream in one evening was so unheard of! Have done this many times

I have never eaten a tub of ice cream.

I can eat a big packet of tortilla chips but that's quite manly

I thought this was going to be a bumsex thread.

:(

Bugger sorry. Posted in wrong thread.

That teaches me to have two windows open at once.

and to say bugger in this context.

Ha! Women in chick lit novels never do that.

Women who read chick lit fancy themselves ditsy but lovable. Hence, the authors create characters that are ditsy but come off as loveable.

Actually they just get on everyone's tits.