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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be baffled by stalkerish behaviour

58 replies

fit2drop · 18/03/2011 13:59

Three weeks ago I was signed off work and will be off for some time.I am due to go in hospital next week for procedures but in the mean time I am very weak tired and probably have reactive depression.

Anyway I had arranged to visit a friend today, she herself has a chronic condition and has days and days of being unwell.

When I woke up today I felt like crap, extremely nauseous drained of energy and generally exhausted.(all symptoms of my illness). I decided to see what I felt like by lunch time hoping I would feel better but if anything I felt worse, did not trust myself to drive safely so texted my friend to say I was feeling particulary unwell today so would not be visiting as I needed to go back to bed.
I appologised for the late text but explained I had hoped to be feeling better so had waited before texting and arranged to visit on Monday if I was well enough.

She text back OK never mind.

I then settled on the sofa with a duvet . lappy , trashy TV and my doggies.

I have just had another text from her (I will quote it word for word)

Why have you told me you are sick and going to bed. I have just driven passsed your house three times and seen you so you are obviously not in bed. If you didn't want to see me you only had to say so you didnt have to use sickness as an excuse. I am really ill and you using illness as an excuse is not nice.Do not bother about seeing me on Monday after all I may not be well enough myself .

WTF is that about?? Am I missing something.
I am a bit Shock that she drove past my house which is a road to nowhere unless you live in this street.
Am I overreacting maybe because I am feeling so low or is my friend the twat I think she has turned into.

OP posts:
mmsmum · 18/03/2011 14:01

Drove past your house 3 times! Shock

Lock all the doors, close all the blinds, and hide under the table!

happystory · 18/03/2011 14:01

Three times? on a road that leads nowhere. Weird.

HecateTheCrone · 18/03/2011 14:02

"That's fine. I don't really want to see you on Monday since you decided to drive past my house three times to check up on me. I need a friend not a stalker. and fyi, I was flopped out on the sofa. ill. Don't contact me again. and don't drive up and down past my house to check up on me. freak."

or is that too much? Grin

madonnawhore · 18/03/2011 14:02

That is really really weird.

I don't know what to suggest you say in reply to that. She sounds mad.

Clytaemnestra · 18/03/2011 14:02

Your "friend" is mad. Seriously.

Probably good to know, and get her out of your life now.

piratecat · 18/03/2011 14:02

not overreacting at all, but sounds like there is back story to tell us if as you say she is turning into a twat.

has she been peeing you off more than this then?

ashamedandconfused · 18/03/2011 14:03

she has ishoos

Original poster
fit2drop · 18/03/2011 14:03

mmsmum Please dont make me pmsl (it hurts :))

Its defo a WTF!! yes? Confused

OP posts:
HotchpotchHoney · 18/03/2011 14:05

Very weird!

I'd text back asking why she drove past three times and if she was passing she should have dropped in. Maybe next time don;t put you are going to bed if you aren;t.

steamedtreaclesponge · 18/03/2011 14:05

OK, that is very weird behaviour. Does she think she has the monopoly on illness or something? Is she normally like that? If this is a one-off I'd be tempted to give her the benefit of the doubt and just text back saying "I am ill, can't move off the sofa, I'm not making excuses. By the way, what on earth were you doing driving past my house three times?"

Original poster
fit2drop · 18/03/2011 14:07

piratecat no back story, up to this point she has just been a "nice friend" . She is poorly and tends to do peoples heads in because she goes on about her illness, she is quite eccentric I guess , but thats what I liked about her. No sign of nastiness though . Its like she was nice one day next day a twat ?

OP posts:
Original poster
fit2drop · 18/03/2011 14:10

Not ignorng people , really am tired now.And actually feel crappier but thanks for replies.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 18/03/2011 14:10

Makes me think that she thinks she has been brushed off by you once too often - have you cancelled on her before?

poopnscoop · 18/03/2011 14:49

Oddball lady... not a friend I would like.

Deliainthemaking · 18/03/2011 15:34

like mmmmum said lock all the doors and hide.

TheDogsBollocks · 18/03/2011 15:37

the woman is clearly bonkers. wtf driving past your house 3 times? Well weird.

Sarsaparilllla · 18/03/2011 15:54

Bonkers bonkers, and how could she tell you weren't in bed by drivig past your house?? Confused

StayFrosty · 18/03/2011 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

annabelflowers · 18/03/2011 16:07

Very strange. Has she become a bit overly clingy?

Sounds like a friend to drop tbh. Has she become possessive or does she have a history of becoming possessive with friends? It sounds a little familiar to me tbh... had a friend (female, 60s) who became so possessive of me that I would sit in my house with curtains drawn and the lights off as she would drive past and ring at all hours of the day to check up on me. Maybe my experience has made me jumpy but it rings massive alarm bells- especially if she had no genuine reason to drive past yr house.

hope you feel better soon.

perfumedlife · 18/03/2011 16:18

I had a friend sounds similar to yours. She was out on my birthday, couldn't have been nicer, drove friends home who didn't have cars, took all my birthday gifts in her car. Next day she called with a real attitude to demand I came to her house, inthe middle of nowhere, with hangover from hell, to collect my parcels!

I told her it was too difficult, no one to look after ds, in bed, and I would get them later. Well, I was called everything under the sun. She went nuts. She had done similar a couple of years before and I let it go, but not this time. I got my things the next day, she had left them in her unlocked car, then she text to say, 'do you fancy lunch?' like nothing happened.

I say she is mentally unstable, sometimes eccentricity masks this. I don't have anything to do with her now, life is hard enough without 'friends' going all demanding and weird.

WillYouDoTheDangFanjo · 18/03/2011 16:25

3 times? That means she went up your road, down your road, up your road and then...

Have you checked your back garden?!

WillYouDoTheDangFanjo · 18/03/2011 16:31

Seriously, if a not-particularly-close friend did that to me, I would tell her that I didn't appreciate being checked up on and not visit her again.

If it was a good friend, I would be worried about her and probably call her to ask her how she was feeling. Very odd.

LeQueen · 18/03/2011 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beesimo · 18/03/2011 16:44

I would do exactly what Hecate the Crone said to do if I was you she is a very astute lady. Take this as a warning of things to come and step out of the friendship NOW

ratspeaker · 18/03/2011 18:03

I'd have thought a normal friend would have said " we'll I 'll be driving over that way, want me to pop in? Need anything? "

Not cruise up and down your road like a kerb crawler