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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tel MIL that DD can't have MORE crap to eat?

72 replies

SeeJaneKick · 17/03/2011 15:54

MIL just went to collect DD from school....well she came with me and DD2 and she brught along a large sweet for each child....was a bit annoyed as I have told her that am stopping the sweets during the week....we get home and she says "Ive got another treat for you!"

To my DD1 and then says to me "It's just a cake"

I'm a bit Hmm but m hoping it's some kind of muffin....maybe a plainish one...but no...she brings out a BIG fairy cake for each child...thick layer of icing on each which is encrusted in sweets!

The bloody cakes had more sugar in each one than a mars bar by the look of them!

I took them and put them high in the cupboard and said "You can't eat those before dinner...if you're good and do all your homework then I might let you later but not now"

Mil looked like this Shock Hmm

WHY did she get them this shite in addition to the sweets at the school gates?

And am I BU to take them?

OP posts:
Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 17/03/2011 15:55

I should add that DD1 seems to react badly to sugar....she has MELTDOWNS when she eats too much and I let the sweets go...but was still worried about whether DD would have a tantrum after them right when it's time for Homework.

OP posts:
bellavita · 17/03/2011 15:57

Because she is a grandparent and this is what they do.

Just stick to your guns and say she can have it after homework/tea.

squeakytoy · 17/03/2011 15:58

Sweets after school was always the tradition when I grew up. Cant see what harm it does.

Fair enough to say the cakes can be saved till after dinner though.

LindyHemming · 17/03/2011 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sportsmum · 17/03/2011 16:00

She's your daughter - you set the rules. My own MIL used to insist on giving the kids sweets loaded with food colouring, which just made their eczema worse. Even telling her that the GP had said no to them had no effect - but stopping them from going round until she decided to listen to DH and I did. YANBU. I think the "You can't eat those before dinner...if you're good and do all your homework then I might let you later but not now" was an excellent way to deal with it. Stick to your guns.

katykoo · 17/03/2011 16:01

Have the same problem with my MIL, as bellavita said its what they do. Bloody annoying though.

Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 17/03/2011 16:01

Squeaky....they were a tradition I agree...but in those days kids wern't exposed to so much junk.

OP posts:
Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 17/03/2011 16:02

My Mum does it too...turns up with a MASIVE packet of sweets and let's them hold the bloody bag!

They're only 6 and 3...a packet of buttons or a fudge is enough.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 17/03/2011 16:02

Sweets are sweets.. I would say they have less colourings and additives in them now than they had back then!

Having said that, for some reason, they didnt send children hyper then either, but that was probably because we walked home from school and then went to play out for a while, so burned off the sugar energy!

RitaMorgan · 17/03/2011 16:04

Saving the cake for after tea is fine.

How I feel about this depends on how often in happens - once a month, let granny spoil them with crap. Once a week then she can bring them an apple or something.

Debs75 · 17/03/2011 16:09

GP's are dreaful for treating kids with sweets. Why can't they treat them with an apple or banana? My dd2 would be more impressed with a banana and some grapes then she would be with a bag of choc buttons.

LindyHemming · 17/03/2011 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 17/03/2011 16:12

I don't agree with that either Rita...mine seem to expectit to go on and on.

OP posts:
Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 17/03/2011 16:14

Debs I agree. A punnet of strawberries or other berries goes down well with my two!

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 17/03/2011 16:17

How dare she be nice to her grandkids, what an old witch she is

Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 17/03/2011 16:18

Since when is giving them a load of old sugary shite to eat "being nice"?

Giving them that crap makes them act badly...makes them get upset...makes it hard to concentrate on homework and rots teeth.

That's nice?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 17/03/2011 16:22

yeah that sugar is poison ,worse than crack for sure

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 17/03/2011 16:26

See, I'm such a slack mum, I would have just let him have the cake.

YANBU tho -your kid, she should abide by your rules. I'm just jealous that DS doesnt have a nanny to spoil him, lol xx

KurriKurri · 17/03/2011 16:31

I pleased to see that crack is now the measure of whether something should be given to children - 'not as bad as crack' - OK, 'worse than crack' -hmm I'll have to think about it.

Children don't need huge quantities of sugar, you can be nice without giving them stuff that will stick to their teeth and make them rot. Why doesn't MIL take them to the park/play a game/read them a story if she wants to be nice?

Sportsmum · 17/03/2011 16:33

Or give them a comic - if they must "give" them something, if they feel a hug and some of their time isn't adequate...

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 17/03/2011 16:34

But surely if they clean their teeth properly???? I always let DS have something nice to eat when he comes out of school and never given in a second thought.....till now!! I dont think a fairy cake is such a hugh quantity, and god, they are so yummy, lol

jasper1980 · 17/03/2011 16:34

its what grannys do.....she won't have done it with her own kids....god help when those who think its the work of the devil want to spoil your own grandchildren and are told where to shove your sugar(or whatever).....its her job to spoil them.

YABU but YANBU for them to wait for the cake, that was a step too far, taking a treat to an all night sugar rush!

usualsuspect · 17/03/2011 16:34

OK I give up ..mil is wrong , as they always are on MN

MegBusset · 17/03/2011 16:34

Perhaps she should just give them some crack Grin

OP yanbu, everything in moderation, I would have kept the cakes til after tea too.

exhausted2011 · 17/03/2011 16:36

arrh, she's a grandma, that's what they do

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