to think she didn't have to share?

[macdoodle]

I'm not sure about this so am prepared to be told IABU.
Lovely sunny day, so take DD2 after nursery for a walk along the cliff and a play in the park :)
She wants to take a doll and a pram for a walk. So off we go.
Have a lovely walk and get to the park. DD2 playing, I am sat on bench with pram/doll, bag etc.
A little boy maybe about 2 toddles up, and starts playing with the pram,am not too bothered but DD2 runs up looking alarmed. Try to reassure her he is just playing but we are in a big open area so I don't really want him walking off with it, I don't him or his parent.
Eventually as DD2 was starting to get a bit upset, his mum comes up, and rather huffily takes him away saying "it's ok, the little girl doesn't want to SHARE", gives me a filthy look and stomps off :(
So??? Should I have just let some unknown child walk off with DD2's new pram (I know it shouldn't matter but it was a nice Baby Annabel one which she has only just had as a present), does the sharing thing extend to unknown kids in public areas??

I don't think it does extend to children you do not know and certainly not children in a park.

yanbu
I'd probably feel a bit the same as your DD if I looked up and saw someone driving circles in the car park in my car.

YANBU.

Like you I wouldn't have minded him playing with it if he didn't take it too far (but honestly when you're trying to watch your dcs you haven't got time to watch what other children are doing with their things have you?) but if I had been the other mum would have said 'come on ds thats not yours lets go on the swings' or some other diversionary tactic.

That sharing thing is so overrated. Better to teach the concept of ownership than that screaming "SHARE!" in someone's face means you can take it off them.

YANBU.

Not take their face off them, obviously.

The mother was a loon. YANBU.

YANBU - I don't share my things with a stranger, so why should a child?

YANBU. Yes, it's nice to share and all that and had your little girl been up for it, then all good. But she wasn't on this occasion and so fair enough. As you said, you didn't know the little boy and you were not obliged to let him play with your things. Had I been the mother of the little boy, I would have apologised to you and taken my little boy away.

Don't know if I'm pfb, but I agree with you. I think at a certain age, toddlers aren't able to grasp the idea of sharing yet. They are ego-centric by nature and rightly worry that what is "theirs" is being taken away.

I agree they need to learn about sharing, but I also recall a post a while back where someone asked why is it if her child is playing with something, must her dc give it up when another child comes over and wants it. That it should be about taking turns ie. other child should wait for first child to finish.

In your case I would have been tempted to loudly say to your daughter something along the lines of clearly the little boys mummy didnt teach him to ask before using something that isn't his.

But like I said, I'm probably being pfb ;-)

YANBU at all!

DD often makes a bee-line for scooters, bikes, prams and things that kids bring to parks and then leave by the sidelines. But they aren't public property, they are those children's belongings! I always steer her clear, and don't let her play with them.

I would expect the same from other parents once we have to take half the house out with us too!

YANBU.

I wouldn't expect any child to share their things, especially a child I didn't know. If either of mine go for something which doesn't belong to them I steer them in the other direction.

YANBU
Children have to learn that some things are not theirs, and if he is old enough to toddle then he is old enough to start learning.

Whew thanks all thought I was going slightly mad, and poor DD2 didn't know how to react, she knows how to share and is pretty good, but he was about to walk off with her favourite toy. So she thought she was being told off as well, I bought her an ice cream to make it up to her :)

Course yanbu. Early sharing is such minefield, but I don't think you even need to go there here. Would never expect dd or ds to use things that aren't theirs, and the other mother should have apologised for ds rather than make it seem you/dd were in the wrong. Long term, should she be training her ds to use bikes that don't belong to him if he comes across them in the park? Course not.

That's not sharing, it's called 'helping yourself without asking' and is To Be Frowned Upon.

in general we demand FAR FAR too much of our children in terms of sharing.

As adults we hardly share anything - imagine going to a mates house and insisting you share his iPhone for half an hour, or take his car for a spin.. but somehow we expect toddlers to ba able to tolerate this

Wow is that child going to grow up with an over inflated sense of entitlement. Grr... she sounds very annoying. Mimsy minge. I think my normally impeccable manners would have failed me when she failed to apologise for her child's rude behaviour and she would have got a BOG ORF in response.

YANBU !! We've lost numerous buckets and spades over the years due to me good naturedly letting other kids share

And then there's my sons bike, it's a great bike, huge red BMX four wheel trike jobby with a huge thing on the back for a basket. Standing plate to tempted kiddies. It also cost me 500 bloody quid because it's a SN bike.

Everytime we go out kids will ask to ave a go, I always say no because if it got damaged, i'd have to pay to get it fixed. The majority of the time kids are fine with this and are happy to gaze at it in envy.

A few times i've had to hoik kids off who have took it upon themselves to have a pedal, final straw being when dp caught one boy attempting to do a wheely with his mate stood on the tray behind Although I could see the funny side knowing my luck we'd get sued. Sonow, on the rare occasion we venture to the park I have to lock it up. Grrr

YANBU at all. I'd have replied, "No she doesn't want to share with someone she doesn't know and give me one good reason why she should."

But then I don't agree with all this sharing bollocks. If something is mine then I would like other people to consider it off limits unless they ask nicely. But then I'm the eldest and got fed up with having to share.

I totally agree with stubbornhubby and Rhinestone. I'd never go to my friends' houses and just make free with their stuff, yet children are expected to put up with people doing just that.
Sharing toys at playgroup is one thing. Being expected to donate your prized possessions, however temporarily, to people you hardly know is entirely another.
It royally fucks me off when (adult) relatives turn up here, take toys away from my dcs so that they (the adults!) can play with them, then complain that my dcs can't share. Er, no. My dcs can share fine. You (an adult who should know better) have just pinched their toy and spoiled their game. That's not sharing.
Nobody, but nobody, adult or child, should be exempted from having to ASK if they want to borrow something that isn't theirs.

NO she was a silly mare! Like the comparison to driving your car round the car park

also think if it was abike or a scooter, is it then ok for random children to just take them round the park? Well, NO!

Frget about it, she was indeed a toss pot

Reminds me of some cowbag in the playground who glared at me because I asked for my son's scooter back from him. He'd been riding round the (no scooter riding allowed) playground with no helmet on for ten minutes shouting "no" at me each time I said "I think that's my son's, can I have it back now as we're leaving".

Loon.

It's that 'Imagine' song by John Lennon that's to blame. "Imagine no possessions...." etc etc.

Fuck off John, I like my possessions and I don't want to share them with the brotherhood of man. They can get their own fucking stuff.