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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pretty pissed off with this doctor.

99 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/03/2011 18:34

I've been visiting my usual gp for sometime as I've been suffering with palpitations and panic attacks.
Over the past year I've lost two close family members had two misscariages and lost my home! We are currently in a bnb all sharing a room, me, dp, ds age 3 and dd age 2.
My usual doctors been away some time and the council insited on a letter saying I'd had appointments etc so I gave in a visited another. Also I've been feeling a lot worse,

He barely let me open my mouth when he was weighing me and saying my weight was the problem for everything! Loosing my gran who brought me can't affect my health at all apparently. Also my exzema had flared up, also weight. I know I'm a big girl size 22 maybe 24 I'm not stupid but right now and for the past year I've had more important things to care about than me, I'm on anti depressants ffs.

So I've left basically being told to eat a salad and exercise. That should be a piece of piss seeing as were skint so can just about afford to feed to kids not ourself.

Maybe I'm overeacting I just needed some help not a kick when I'm down! He turned to dp who was with me for support as ill cry at anything and said you need to loose weight too, think about your children!! Dp is 6"5 and a 38" waist, since when is that obese?
I'm sat here blubbing like a twat wondering why I bothered

OP posts:
Lovesdogsandcats · 17/03/2011 09:14

Bupcakes no way, did not realise there actually is a course for these rude doctors...well done you for complaining!
There is a very insensitive one at my surgery, dd hates her, as she has been abrupt and seemingly uncaring with her too. If it was not for the fact that she happens to be a very good doctor who seems to get it right each and every time, I would avoid seeing her as there are other docs at the surgery.

OP come back and tell us how things are going, don't suffer alone Smile

Longtime · 17/03/2011 09:19

moondog, most probably due to the food she was eating - bread and dripping sandwiches anyone?

springydaffs · 17/03/2011 09:24

Sorry to split hairs here, but poor nutrition (as someone said upthread) is not a 'working class' problem - it is a low income problem. The working classes are not necessarily on a low income, the middle classes etc not necessarily on a high income.

Sorry, one of my bugbears Blush

bupcakesandcunting · 17/03/2011 09:27

Yes there is, apparently. I wrote a huffy letter to the practice manager and she rang me back and told me that she had taken it up with him and he had said he had said it in joke (yeah great joke at the expense of both fatties AND people in concentration camp, double whammy there, Jim Davidson Hmm) but nonetheless she was arranging for him to go on a course in dealing with patients.

Oh how I chuckled at the thought of a GP with thirty years experience suffering the patronising ordeal of having to sit in on a course learning a basic element of his job: some fucking empathy.

bupcakesandcunting · 17/03/2011 09:28

Springydaffs the popular press like to term obesity "a working class epidemic" I should have made it clear in my post that they aren't my words. I can see their point even if the tag isn't entirely accurate...

LineRunner · 17/03/2011 09:43

Hi there. Sorry about all the crap you're having.

Does the Council want a GP's letter to help speed up re-housing you and your family? If so, then that's even more reason to ask to see a different GP, and to make sure that your housing file reflects the fact that a GP has not only seen you but confirmed that you have medical and stress-related issues.

I think that getting your housing situation sorted out is fundamental, and it'll happen quicker if the Council has an accurate picture of your 'level of need' (excuse jargon). Letters from a GP, your children's school, a local councillor - all these can help.

For the life of me I can't imagine how any family can eat and live healthily all cooped up in a room in a B&B. You'll feel better when you have your own space and your own kitchen.

Good luck.

pissovski · 17/03/2011 10:11

Really feel for you OP. And would happily give the dr a kick up the arse! Definately make an appointment with a different dr.

There is one like that at my practice - doesn't matter what i go in with, everytime i have seen here she has told me to lose weight (oh, and get a better bra!!). I know i am overweight, but that is not the cause or symptom of everything i have been to the dr about. Wouldn't mind, but she is hardly perfect BMI herself by the looks of her. It got to the point where i just always try to make sure i see another dr.

Re Slimming World. I lost 2 stones on it and find it very easy to follow (and DH enjoyed it too). For some good ideas and lots of support try this site I used that and never went to a meeting (was trying to save money)

Very best of luck

lololizzy · 17/03/2011 12:32

hmmm bupcakes.. i knew someone whose father (a doctor) was well known for that specific advice (eg no one fat ever came out of Belsen) to overweight patients! he used to boast about this 'advice'. If surname begins with R..it could be one and the same..if not, there's plenty of insensitive doctors out there!

bupcakesandcunting · 17/03/2011 12:33

No, his surname doesn't begin with R! It must be an "In" joke amongst twatty GPs.

lololizzy · 17/03/2011 12:35

oh dear. and this man used to think he was so 'hilarious'. I'm sure he still does, if he's still practising , that is.

FlorencesMachine · 17/03/2011 12:37

Sounds like the doctor was a little brusque, but he is a medical doctor, and therefore they're specialised in health.

It is a little like going in to see your car mechanic with a problem with your brake lights, and asking him not to point out your exhaust has fallen off.

MadamDeathstare · 17/03/2011 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bupcakesandcunting · 17/03/2011 13:09

Yes doctors are there to point out your medical problems but they should be doing it with some empathy and not letting obvious health problems mask other health problems...

moondog · 17/03/2011 16:40

Ah, so doctors are meant to be social workers now are they?

The OP is obviously having a terrible time but how would the doctor not pointing out she obviously needs to shift a lot of weight help?

What is this 'support' people speak of?
How does that help or improve an undeniable fact, namely that being seriously overweight is a.) not ideal and b.) something you have to take personal responsibility for.

The suggestion she lose wight points to a differential diagnosis of sorts-eliminate this as a possible sourse of palpitations.

I liek the car exhaust analogy.

Laquitar · 17/03/2011 17:06

moondog i know you don't much like the word 'support' but tbh i really think you do need support to overcome the issues you seem to have with weight/bodies/food. Seriously in every thread you seem to be vile towards any poster struggling with weight.

wellwisher · 17/03/2011 17:23

I vaguely remember reading somewhere that since obesity has become such a widespread problem, GPs are being advised to ALWAYS advise noticeably overweight patients to lose weight, as well as addressing whatever health problem had brought them to the surgery. Anyone else heard that? Obv the OP's GP has still failed on this occasion because he didn't help her with her eczema, panic attacks and palpitations, but it could explain why he brought up the issue.

bupcakesandcunting · 17/03/2011 17:45

moondog. In case I was ambiguous in my meaning before...

Fuck. Off.

Cheers.

For the record, no-one is suggesting that OP's doctor shouldn't have broached the weight issue. Just that he a) takes some notice of her other issues and b) deals with the weight issue sensitively. Doctors DO have a duty to care.

lololizzy · 17/03/2011 18:00

People can literally eat their pain, the same way alcoholics can drink their pain, drug addicts can inject their pain, etc etc..
If the OP was having a very stressful and exhausting time, chances are that nutrition really wasn't top of the list, would be the last of your concerns..having been through similar myself recently.
Only now am i getting to grips with losing what i call my 'stress weight' and have 2 or 2 stones to lose. I'm not even going to beat myself up for why i put it on. I dont drink, smoke etc, it was my coping strategy.
OP's doc is an insensitive dick.

unfitmother · 17/03/2011 18:44

I agree, OP's GP is an insensitive dick and moondog is being an absolute bitch.

moondog · 17/03/2011 19:03

Ah, so we are passive victims of food are we?

unfitmother · 17/03/2011 19:12

I think the OP may well be a victim of circumstance, I do not believe she is a victim of food but a victim of bereavement, homelessness and poverty. As such I feel sympathy, not the need to make patronising remarks.

MadamDeathstare · 17/03/2011 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 17/03/2011 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 17/03/2011 20:10

But MDS, however you look at it ultimately the answer is to eat less. I'm not sure how that is anyone's responsibility but the Op/s

pointythings · 17/03/2011 20:44

Moondog - losing weight is an answer to probably some of the OP's problems. But not all of them by any means, if you've read the original post. Focusing on one very visible issue to get someone out of the door quickly is just not good clinical practice.

And shouting 'Hey fatty, lose some weight!' never actually helped very many people deal with their weight problems at all.

Try looking up 'Empathy' in the dictionary, or else as Bupcakes has said - Foxtrot Oscar.