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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pretty pissed off with this doctor.

99 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/03/2011 18:34

I've been visiting my usual gp for sometime as I've been suffering with palpitations and panic attacks.
Over the past year I've lost two close family members had two misscariages and lost my home! We are currently in a bnb all sharing a room, me, dp, ds age 3 and dd age 2.
My usual doctors been away some time and the council insited on a letter saying I'd had appointments etc so I gave in a visited another. Also I've been feeling a lot worse,

He barely let me open my mouth when he was weighing me and saying my weight was the problem for everything! Loosing my gran who brought me can't affect my health at all apparently. Also my exzema had flared up, also weight. I know I'm a big girl size 22 maybe 24 I'm not stupid but right now and for the past year I've had more important things to care about than me, I'm on anti depressants ffs.

So I've left basically being told to eat a salad and exercise. That should be a piece of piss seeing as were skint so can just about afford to feed to kids not ourself.

Maybe I'm overeacting I just needed some help not a kick when I'm down! He turned to dp who was with me for support as ill cry at anything and said you need to loose weight too, think about your children!! Dp is 6"5 and a 38" waist, since when is that obese?
I'm sat here blubbing like a twat wondering why I bothered

OP posts:
Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/03/2011 21:00

Thanks bupcakes.

I come from a family of larger ladies and my closest friend is too so I'm hoping atleast one of them will come with! I'm eager to do it. Always have been. going to see my normal gp and go from there, fingers crossed! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/03/2011 21:00

Thanks bupcakes.

I come from a family of larger ladies and my closest friend is too so I'm hoping atleast one of them will come with! I'm eager to do it. Always have been. going to see my normal gp and go from there, fingers crossed! :)

OP posts:
moondog · 16/03/2011 21:02

'seeing as were skint so can just about afford to feed to kids not ourself.'

Eh?? So how did you get to be size 24 then?

bupcakesandcunting · 16/03/2011 21:02

Moondog. Fuck off. Very unhelpful and STUPID.

HTH.

moondog · 16/03/2011 21:04

Good Lord.
Astounding that stating the glaringly obvious elicits such a response.

bupcakesandcunting · 16/03/2011 21:07

Well, you might think it's the obvious answer. Do a bit of research into affordable nutrition amongst lower-income families and you might revise your ignorant opinion. You think you only get fat if you're rich? Then why is obesity termed a working-class epidemic? Stupid doesn't even cover your remark.

moondog · 16/03/2011 21:07

It possibly covers all bases with your however.

bupcakesandcunting · 16/03/2011 21:09

Yeah, well. I'm not the one making idiotic remarks regarding a touchy subject for the OP. Your last post doesn't make a lot of sense, really so congratulations on failing at a witty riposte :)

Longtime · 16/03/2011 21:11

Moondog, my dad was one of ten and his dad was an alcoholic who didn't give his mum enough housekeeping to feed them all. However, his mum was a really big woman but it definitely wasn't down to eating all the food herself!

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/03/2011 21:16

Sorry for the double posting I'm on my phone and can't seem to stop it happening.

Well seeing as I spent 10 of the past 12mnths in hospitals/hospice caring for a dying relative I ate a lot of junk. Oh and when my brother died and I moved into my mums to help with my baby brother and sister diet again not the first thing on my mind. Oh and I've only been totally skint 3weeks as I'm paying 90pwk storage for all my belongings, top up on ds school fees, launderette etc being homeless is harder on a low income family than having a house! Unbelievably!

OP posts:
BialystockandBloom · 16/03/2011 21:27

moondog that is a seriously unpleasant post. Really. What on earth are you thinking - what possible help is that to the OP who sounds like she really needs support and constructive advice. Shame on you.

pointythings · 16/03/2011 21:30

OP, you have my sympathy - stress, poor diet and lack of sleep all have their part to play in weight gain and obviously and I don't think you've been in a situation to help yourself.

Ignore Moondog, she can't help herself - she's probably related to the GP you saw...

BialystockandBloom · 16/03/2011 21:31

OP sorry, I haven't got any useful advice I'm afraid (I only really posted as I thought the pp was pretty offensive), but wanted to wish you all the best, and hope you get the support you need. There seems to be some good advice here so far Smile

moondog · 16/03/2011 21:31

'However, his mum was a really big woman but it definitely wasn't down to eating all the food herself!'

What was it down to then?

bupcakesandcunting · 16/03/2011 21:33

moondog is clearly on a wind-up. No-one can be THAT thick. I would suggest ignoring it.

Jj, have you been over to the weightloss boards on here? They're very good, loads of advice and support.

freebreeze · 16/03/2011 21:38

I really hope your situation improves soon.

I once had a rubbish doc when I had depression. He didn't listen to a word I said and made me feel like a failure. At the time I just sat there and blubbed when I got home, but when I got better I realised how bad he'd been.

when you're chips are down and life is tough you really need sympathy and support from your GP. If he isn't giving that then you must change.

Hang in there. Things will get better in time x

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/03/2011 21:42

Thank you to all the kind mumsnetters. Unfortunatly I'm used to the morons we get on here too.

Will attempt finding the weightloss threads now

OP posts:
Driftwood999 · 16/03/2011 21:53

IMHO I really do not see the OP's situation in relation to diet, as that being the priority. I feel there is a housing need here. OP, why are you in B&B?

wellwisher · 16/03/2011 22:04

JJ, I hope you can get to see a different doctor ASAP about your eczema and palpitations.

As you know, being overweight does put your heart under additional strain, so don't wait for Slimming World - you can start here for free as soon as you want to (Argos do pedometers from about £3). Choose a playground that's at least a mile from where you're staying and take the DCs every day, on foot. Go morning and afternoon if you can! Take a ball too and have a kickabout with them. Fresh air and getting moving will lift your spirits, help you cope with the stress you're under, and kickstart weight loss. It's easier and cheaper than trying to diet, especially as money is so tight - and do you even have the use of a decent kitchen where you're staying? Long-term you will need both diet and exercise to lose weight and keep it off, but dieting is going to be very hard right now and the doctor should have realised that. Are you able to get free access to a council gym in your area? Swimming could be good too, either on your own or as a family.

Do encourage your DH to get moving too, his waist size is not healthy so unfortunately the rude git of a doctor was right about that.

I really feel for you - do you know how long you will be in temp accommodation? Must be a nightmare :(

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 16/03/2011 22:36

We are in a bnb because my shitty inlaws sold the house we rented from them with next to no warning! We have no idea how long we will be here as we are "next on the list" to have our claim looked at! I could be happily staying at my mums helping out and paying a small bit toward food to have a slightly better diet (they're all really fussy eaters) but council won't allow that, claiming it means we can live there permanantly! We have access to a kitchen but are only allowed certain space in fridge and its filled my milk yogurt etc for the children!

Going to make a real effort to walk a lot more, can't walk the school run as its a 25min drive to a village! But gonna ask dp to drop me at the family who live there and ill walk to collect ds and back then do the drive home

I really appreciate all the support and great ideas I'm feeling really motivated.

OP posts:
Lovesdogsandcats · 16/03/2011 22:45

He sounds like an insensitive twat - honestly, some of these GPs need to go on a course called 'gain some empathy and learn to be a bit nice'.

You are overweight ( so am I, so am not being harsh), BUT you are obviously under immense stress with your living situation.

Walking really can make you feel better, plus its free and fresh air for the kids.

Nice weather is round the corner, and you won't mind being outdoors more then...hoopefully by the time summer is over you will have your own place Smile

bupcakesandcunting · 16/03/2011 23:01

It's interesting you say that Lovedogs about GPs going on a course. I complained about my GP's attitude and the practice manager took it very seriously and sent him on a course in being a bit fucking nicer. It must have worked because he has kissed my arse ever since Wink

serin · 16/03/2011 23:22

JJ, your GP sounds obnoxious, did he not even offer you some counselling? FWIW I agree wholeheartedly with bupcakes, if you make a complaint it will be taken very seriously.

Moondog Have you been on the cooking sherry again love?

springydaffs · 17/03/2011 08:25

Make a complaint OP. I can't count the number of times I've come out of a GP's surgery in bits. I am appalled that he humiliated and shamed you when if he had taken even a basic interest in your history he would have seen that your weight issues are a symptom of your life experiences at present. He didn't do his job properly, definitely complain, try to keep calm and rational when you do. Too many of us are so upset we can't face complaining, but if we don't these shits carry on and do it to someone else (sorry to be so cross, but it does make me so CROSS Angry).

I'm so sorry you're on your uppers at the mo and really hope things come together soon OP. (hug)

springydaffs · 17/03/2011 08:27

on your uppers = having a bad time (sorry about the slang Blush

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