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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed DH spent £67 on junk food in 3 days?

104 replies

Strictly · 16/03/2011 11:43

DH has gone away for a week with work. He's been gone since late Sunday. I checked online banking today and since he's been gone he's spent £67! The charges are McD's, Burger King, a chippy, Sainsbury's and Tesco.... he also spent £20 on 'treats' for him to take with him the day before he left.

All their meals are provided there so AIBU to be annoyed he's spent more than we normally spend on a weeks family shop on pure junk food for himself in 3 DAYS! Angry

OP posts:
EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 16/03/2011 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VivaLeBeaver · 16/03/2011 12:14

Might the Sainsburys be partly cashback?

ginnybag · 16/03/2011 12:19

That's a scary quantity of food!!

Jesus.

I'd be ringing and asking how many other people he's been feeding and saying you've promised thge kids a trip to the pictures so he needs to save the cash he's been getting from the other people.

See what he says!

Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 12:23

engelbert I don't think so as there as 2 other charges for taking cash out, which he doesn't normally do.

It is partly about the money as I think that's a huge amount to waste in 3 days. Mainly, however, it's about him telling me to stop wasting money but it's ok for him to go crazy when I'm stuck at home with a very difficult toddler, a 5 m.o baby and eating pasta every night Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 12:25

ginny he won't be feeding others, that'll be just him. Seriously. As he doesn't put on weight he just eats whatever he wants. And eats, and eats....

OP posts:
bumblingbovine · 16/03/2011 12:33

He is a man who is NOT fat so is obviously not overeating. Quite frankly the OP sounds incredibly controlling over food. Maybe the poor man is actually hungry and bored of the food he gets at home and is having blow out while away.

Saving money or not, the man needs to have enough to eat. I would be beyone p*ed off if my partner tried to control my eating in this way

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 16/03/2011 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 12:37

He's having 3 meals a day! I'm not trying to starve him Hmm

If someone you loved ate that amount of junk in 3 days would you be worried bumbling?

OP posts:
BranchingOut · 16/03/2011 12:39

Do you think he is going through some kind of eating binge as a away of comfort eating while he is away?

Maybe he feels a bit nervous/out of place having to make small talk and be away from his home environment.

That is the only charitable explanation I can think of! Grin

bumblingbovine · 16/03/2011 12:39

If the man "eats and eats" and does not put on weigght, he probably needs the calories.

It sounds to me like he doesn't get enough quantity and variety at home.

The OP probably east small quantities as she is a woman. Her dh is obviously a man who can eat larger quantities and probably needs that amount.

The fact that he felt obliged to load up on "treats" before going away tells me he is feeling deprived at home. The man should be allowed to eat enough so he is not hungry and is satisfied at home. then maybe he won't go eating in semi secret.

How about the OP accepting that her dh eats a lot more than her and that he requires it (since he is not fat), and not making the judgment that he is a "greedy pig" (which as he is not overweight he clearly isn't).

A conversation about what the OP buys to eat in the home might be warranted and some compromises made. then maybe the dh won't need to "scoff" when he is out of the house

Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 12:40

It's not I sit here gorging myself like crazy when he's away... All I'm saying is when he's being given 3 full meals a day does he really need to eat this much on top? He must be eating 4000 cals a day.

I wouldn't mind if he was hungry and was eating proper food but he's not, he's eating Mars Bars and whoppers. Hardly the sort of food that fills you up, just sugar and fat.

OP posts:
bumblingbovine · 16/03/2011 12:41

Strictly.

Yuor dh is obviously binging and if he goes on like that he may put on weight but has he always been like this or is a new thing?

everblack · 16/03/2011 12:42

I think I would be annoyed about this too. The problem with food from places like Burger King is that it doesn't fill you up for long enough! So no wonder he keeps buying more.

bumblingbovine · 16/03/2011 12:44

How do you know if he is hungry? Only he knows that. I do agree that eating lots of junk food over a long period of time is bad for you but maybe he just needs more food than he is getting and maybe he can get away with eating a bit more junk than you can without gaining weight.

I do think you need to discuss this in an open and honest way but I would say you really need to try and not judge him as being greedy, which is coming through in your posts.

Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 12:44

bumbling the comments about his treats makes no sense! He got stuff for himself as otherwise he would have been taking all the stuff for the children and I too Hmm It's not like we don't have chocolate and crisps and things in the house but as he wasn't going to be here to eat the stuff we already have he got stuff of his own.

I also make him larger portions than myself.

Last week we had :

Spag Bol

Lasagne

Sausage, mash and carrots

Chicken Stir fry

Chicken curry with popadoms etc

Jacket potatos with cheese and beans and corn on the cobs

So I'm hardly giving him half a tin of soup a night Shock

OP posts:
bumblingbovine · 16/03/2011 12:46

But is his eating so much an ongoing irritation for you or is it something that has started quite recently?

bumblingbovine · 16/03/2011 12:49

Actually I have just read one of your posts that says he has been complainign about the amoutn spent on food!

I think a discusson when he gets back is even more in order really. This is obviously an issue that needs resolving. I agree that he can't complain that you spend too much on frood and then spend like that on junk food.

MillsAndDoom · 16/03/2011 12:52

Accidentally cancel his bank card

Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 12:56

His Mother has always been very night with food tbh. He said growing up they would get those tins of chocolate pudding and have one between 5 Shock so I think he always has the tendency so go a bit mad when left to his own devices.

At home he will happily eat a family bag on Maltesers etc in one sitting and things like that don't really bother me. It's the fact he is getting 3 solid meals a day and he's eating over £20 of adittional food a day on top of that! He'll be bored so will be eating for the sake of eating.

OP posts:
Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 12:58

between 5, when he and his sibs were teenagers

OP posts:
Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 13:00

oops clearly it should have said tight not night

OP posts:
bumblingbovine · 16/03/2011 13:03
bemybebe · 16/03/2011 13:11

my credit card details were once stolen and the b*&%$£ds went on junk food binge (BK and Domino's). I only found out 1.5 months later when going through the bill. Pizzas alone were 140£.

Original poster
Strictly · 16/03/2011 13:14

He normally spends about £20 a week on what he calls his 'yum yums'. So Mars Bars, sweets, cake etc. He will eat all that by Wednesday if we go shopping on Saturday and will be complaining he needs more.

His Mother said he used to raid the pantry at night and eat an entire weeks worth of treats. However they did have very small portions at home so I think that was actualy hunger. Now I think he just has a sweet tooth and his own disposable income so is again the proverbial kid in a candy shop.

I think he'd be embarraseed to eat this much in front of me at home, but alone in a hotel room....

OP posts:
colditz · 16/03/2011 13:17

He SHOULD damn well change it if Strictly and her children are eating a lower quality of food than they COULD afford if he would allow her to buy is (which she says he doesn't)- only for him to spend the surplus on over priced unhealthy shit that he doesn't have to shar with his wife and children.

I'd have a FIT, Strictly. he's treating like a bloody pet - it's ok to drop YOUR food quality when thigs are tight but heaven forfend he should drop his own!

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