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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take "sick" ds to nursery and get my hair done, even though I took today off work?

24 replies

badmumbouffant · 15/03/2011 10:10

Ds started wth a temp of 39 degrees on Thurs. It stayed like ths over the weekend but was 39 degrees yesterday am, so dh took day off work as I had an important meeting I couldn't really get out of. Dh took ds to doctors where he ran about giggling and doc said that he has a mild virus and nothing to worry about etc, etc and said that as he was now behaving normally, he was probably at the end of it, it just needed to run its course. He is also teething.

Despite ths, dh and I decided last night that I would take today off work as ds slept very little over the last few days, missing naps and waking again at night several times etc, contributing to the general grumpiness as he is out of routine since the weekend (and not loving 6.30 am starts). So we had relaxed morning (still up early, mind!) I phoned in to swap days about. I work a 5 day fortnight (2 days/3 days) so I will work a 3 day week next week instead of the scheduled 2.

Now, ds's temperature is normal. He seems absolutely fine to me. He is having his nap, he is eating well, playing, very alert, no temp etc.

Would it be terrible to bung him in nursery for the afternoon and get my hair done? It hasn't been done since November and is WILD and it's my sister's hen do this weekend.

On the one hand, I feel like it is somehow very naughty to have stayed off work and then do something like this, but on the other, work won't miss out (I only had paperwork to do today and will do everything I needed to do next week with no consequence to anyone else) and, well, I'm not being paid for today now. And I am shelling out £43.50 for nursery and ds doesn't really need to be home with me all day - he is quite well.

I am in two minds, lured by the prospects of not having to hang my head in shame every time I pass a reflection of my barnet and repelled by the naughtiness of it all.

MN Jury, you decide.

OP posts:

mamofK · 15/03/2011 10:12

get your hair done!

Ormirian · 15/03/2011 10:12

No temp, no pucking, no runny bottom, eating, happy and running about? No problem.

PinkWinged · 15/03/2011 10:15

YABU
If you go to work tomorrow with a new hairdo having been in Monday with wild hair, everyone will know you weren't looking after your son.

I think you are letting down all of us who have to take genuine time off to look after children.

agedknees · 15/03/2011 10:16

Why feel guilty? You are working extra next week, so not being paid today. Your ds is now well, not contagious or anything.

Go get your hair done, stop feeling guilty!!! You have nowt to feel guilty about.

Enjoy hen party at the weekend.

SoupDragon · 15/03/2011 10:19

I agree that it's going to look bloody obvious when you turn up at work with a new hairdo.

OnlyWantsOne · 15/03/2011 10:20

Your not skiving, you've swapped your days.

Go and get your hair done. I would.

And its rubbish that they will know you havent been looking after your son. You could have got your hair done at any time, or any where, even at home since you last went to work.

Crack on :)

FabbyChic · 15/03/2011 10:22

What would work say tomorrow when you took the day off to care for your sick child, but in fact go in with a new hairdo?

meditrina · 15/03/2011 10:22

If your son is genuinely symptom-free, then I don't see a problem with this.

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 15/03/2011 10:23

Go for it!!

Gingefringe · 15/03/2011 10:23

Go to the hairdressers.

If your workmates say anything just say you had an evening appointment - it's not their business anyway.

Your son sounds fine. Hope he recovers fully soon.

agedknees · 15/03/2011 10:24

But as you are NOT being paid for today, its your time. Technically you are not taking time off to look after your ds.

Ormirian · 15/03/2011 10:24

"What would work say tomorrow when you took the day off to care for your sick child, but in fact go in with a new hairdo?"

Mobile hairdresser?

Original poster

badmumbouffant · 15/03/2011 10:25

I don't go into work tomorrow, so they won't know I didn't get it done then!

I did take time off genuinely because I felt he was ill. Although I feel a fair amount of it was my own stupid guilt that dh took yesterday off. Dh wanted him to go to nursery yesterday (with a temp of 39!! ) and I had a bit of a battle on my hands getting him to agree to take yesterday off. He is from island folk who think that unless you are in danger of imminent death you should go to nursery/school/work and I have been trying to make him understand that it is just plain wrong to allow ds to infect the children of others because we "could bring his temp down with calpol" . I shouldn't feel ANY guilt about it but I know in my heart of hearts I was far too ready to say that I would take today off in the interests of "fairness" to dh. I can be a silly moo.

I think I am fairly decent in terms of balancing my work/childcare commitments at work. I am entitled to paid carer's leave but I have never taken it - I always swap my days.

OP posts:

OnlyWantsOne · 15/03/2011 10:25

"What would work say tomorrow when you took the day off to care for your sick child, but in fact go in with a new hairdo?"

OOohh do youi like it, cheers!

Natch

MillsAndDoom · 15/03/2011 10:25

Go get your hair done but mess it up when you go back in to work tomorrow so its not obvious

Paintinmyhair · 15/03/2011 10:26

Get the hair done and REVEL in the naughtiness!! I took yesterday off to make roman blinds, and dd was in after school club. Felt bad, but would have felt worse if she had moned about how bored she was!

RueLaChesty · 15/03/2011 10:26

hmmm normally i would say yanbu but i'm just off the phone with my arsehole boss who gave me hard time as i'm taking time off to look after poorly DD who has been vomiting since thursday in hospital friday and still not keeping solids down!

Apparently someone else had phoned in as their child was ill so i copped his bad mood!

So today i will say yabvu!

Tomorrow i'll probably say yabu go get hair done!

SoupDragon · 15/03/2011 10:28

What would your work have said if you had asked to swap your days about so you could get your hair done?

BettyCash · 15/03/2011 10:30

hair do!

Original poster

badmumbouffant · 15/03/2011 10:31

If I specifically said I couldn't be bothered coming to work as I wanted to get my hair done, they wouldn't be too pleased. But they are fine with me swapping days around to go on holidays/fly/go to weddings etc as long as I still maintain the five day fortnight.

It also depends on what you are doing on the day you swap. If I had been scheduled to do work with clients, then cancelling at short notice for personal reasons is not tolerated (hence dh took yesterday off) but if it's paperwork/preparation, it's generally not seen as a big deal.

As it was, most of today was going to be spent prepping training that will be done on Monday which as you can imagine, I'll end up doing at home (for free!).

OP posts:

eileenslightlytotheleft · 15/03/2011 10:34

Definitely take your DS into nursery and get your hair done.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 15/03/2011 10:37

I don't see the problem with sending him to nursery and getting your hair so long as he is well. You've only swapped your days about. If you'd taken carers leave that would have been different but in this case there's no need to square anything with work. I'm guessing if you'd needed to swap days to get you're boiler fixed they'd have agreed to that. It that was fixed in the morning you'd be fine to get your haircut in the afternoon. I really don't see the problem your still doing your normal 5 day fortnight.

bemybebe · 15/03/2011 10:39

If under the circumstances you have no problem taking time off to go to the hairdresser, you presumably have no problem explaining the situation (if someone asks you).

However, don't be surprised if people (like your boss) stop taking seriously your requests going forward.

Original poster

badmumbouffant · 15/03/2011 10:56

Yes, mumwithadragontattoo, they are fine with things like swapping for boilers being fixed, car breakdowns, appointments with solicitors, flights, weddings, having visitors over etc. It's deliberately flexible as they know that I will be flexible in their favour too e.g. I swap days if sick myself, if ds is sick, for snow days etc. I think I find it hard to believe it is flexible now that I am at a higher level in the organisation as when I started as a minion in the company you couldn't be flexible at all.

I am beginning to think it is not unreasonable to get the old barnet sorted+, as it is not costing my employers anything, is more likely to benefit than disadvantage my clients and is costing me money in childcare.

OP posts:

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