to teach my kids that som

[Niceguy2]

Having just watched this on YouTube I am wondering if AIBU to teach my kids how to punch/kick & generally defend themselves properly?

I mean ok...officially they should tell the teacher's but let's be honest, would you have done as a child?

I was bullied as a kid by quite a few people as I was the only immigrant child in the school so an obvious target. Thinking back, it was only after I learned Karate and started fighting back (only after being provoked a lot) that it stopped.

So whilst its all well and good having anti-bullying policies and officially letting the teachers deal with bullies, AIBU to think the best way to ensure my kids don't get bullied is to make sure they know how to fight so potential bullies think twice first?

I agree with some of what seeker is saying actually - standing up to bullies doesn't always stop them.

It did work for me when I was attacked by some bullies. But when I was verbally bullied, they just kept on, no matter what my retorts where.

I wish the school and my parents had taken it seriously.

I will still be teaching my child to hit back though - I feel sad for Casey - that evil shit deserved a broken leg.

*were

I said "martial arts" in my earlier post; what my DCs did was kung fu, which is essentially MMA for children. They learned lots of useful skills, and for self defence, the most useful appeared to be how to block punches and kicks of various types.

Start young, get the physical confidence and the co-ordination as well as the fighting skills and it'll help no end.

I would never tell my DCs to hit back, as I'd worry it could be misconstrued and escalate a fight. I would and do tell them that if they are attacked they can use any means necessary to defend themselves; and also that their aim should always be to use only the force necessary to get away.

Actually a lot of the traditional martial arts can get you competent in basic defence pretty quickly if taught properly. I am a pretty high belt in kung-fu - all sorts of fancy moves mastered for my various gradings, but the moves I would fall back on if necessary would be the ones I learned in the first few weeks of classes.

I am glad Seeker that you weren't bullied but I suspect your view point would be different if you had.

Maybe.

But just as victims are the last people who should be allowed to dispense justice, so people with too close a personal experience of an issue may not necessarily be the most clear sighted about it.

And also, you don't actually have to have experiences something to have an understanding of it.

I don't think even being able to fight well is the question it is being willing to.

I never said I thought bullies were cowards either, what I did say was that by doing nothing they will beat on you by standing up for yourself you make it a different sort of decision for them next time.

I have it on good authority the kid in the flip earned himself a shattered kneecap. Which sounds fair, because of course he wouldn't have gotten hurt at all it he hadn't decided to make an already miserable kid more miserable.

What that kid did was defend himself not dispense justice. He did it whilst being attacked and apparently he has been attacked like that for his entire secondary school life no wonder he had had enough.

I agree. I didn't say he was dispensing justice. It's no point debating things if people aren;t prepared to read posts properly.

As I said below, children should be empowered to defend themselves in the same way that an adult would be. However, when that does not work, they need additional strategies.

They need to know that their parents will support them without reservation and will support the actions that they take to help themselves and that the school are involved and will not tolerate the behaviour. We also found that where the school have been powerless to stop bullying, they need to be aware that it is not appropriate to punish the bullied child when he fights back.

Ds was also told that he could move schools in a heart-beat if he felt that he needed to. He has never wanted to do this, but I think it has helped him knowing that there is an "out" if he wanted it. We have also talked to him a lot about why it happens and what he thinks it says about him and the bullies. He has come to the conclusion that they bully him because he is clever and a bit geeky and they used to be able to make him cry. They bully him because either they are weak (because they follow the herd-mentality) or they are cruel. It does not affect his self-esteem as he has decided that he is the better person.