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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think chicken pox parties are irresponsible

76 replies

going · 14/03/2011 18:15

An old school friend took her son to one today(I noticed via fb).

Why does anyone choose to make their children ill?

OP posts:
GiddyPickle · 14/03/2011 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justpaddling · 14/03/2011 18:19

This reply has been deleted

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onceamai · 14/03/2011 18:22

Because I had it aged 25 and was so ill, and had spots everywhere (and I mean everywhere) that the doctor had to be called and I was sedated for two days. There is no way I would want my children to go through yet. It is much less very serious in childhood than in adulthood.

grubbalo · 14/03/2011 18:22

Or alternatively get them immunised which (to me) seems to be the best solution (although is obviously costly)

Original poster
going · 14/03/2011 18:23

I do agree it's better to get it as a child but I know someone who's son had complications as a result of getting chicken pox so could never intenionally expose my child.

OP posts:
ChristinedePizan · 14/03/2011 18:25

Well I ruined my friend's holiday by unintentionally exposing her DD to chicken pox :( so I can completely understand wanting to get it at a time when it's not going to spoil things that you have been looking forward to for a long time.

The complications are rare and most children are likely to be exposed at some point

auntpolly · 14/03/2011 18:31

It is better to get it as a child, but it is ridiculous to intentionally expose your child to it.

A 3 year old at DD's nursery developed encephalitis after contracting chicken pox and sadly died. Complications are extremely rare but not impossible.

ddubsgirl · 14/03/2011 18:33

we dont have cp jab here

activate · 14/03/2011 18:35

because the earlier they get it the better as its easier to deal with and can be milder

catching chicken pox gives lifelong immunity

and because they can aim to get it within a specific time that might be more suitable (though no guarantee - it took 4 or 5 exposures, though none of them parties, for my first child to catch)

very sensible approach

activate · 14/03/2011 18:35

you can get complications to the common cold

Catrinm · 14/03/2011 18:35

Waits with popcorn to see how long it takes to become a vaccination thread

GiddyPickle · 14/03/2011 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WreckoftheHesperus · 14/03/2011 18:37

YABU. If you don't vaccinate you are effectively choosing to intentionally expose your DC to CP at one time or another, as you are hoping that they will get the disease as kids rather than adults.

On that basis, does it matter how and where they get it?.

ddubsgirl · 14/03/2011 18:40

cp partys have gone on for years,not a new thing,ds1 got it nursery and gave to ds2 and twins got it at playgroup when it was going around again,very rare to got complications from it,mumps measles etc are more dangerous thus why we have jabs for them,doesnt stop you from getting it but its less servre.

GiddyPickle · 14/03/2011 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaWeasel · 14/03/2011 18:45

I would prefer any girls I have to get it when they are young.

I would not want to risk them catching it while pregnant.

I would not intentionally expose a child who was at particular risk of developing complications, or boys where it matters less if they have it at adults.

WreckoftheHesperus · 14/03/2011 18:47

That's interesting, Giddy, I hadn't heard that; is it anecdotal, or do you know of any studies?

FebreezeYourJeans · 14/03/2011 18:50

I deliberately exposed my ds to CP. Yes, I know there can be complications but unless you are going to vaccinate he is going to get it at some point.

This way he got it pre school, not near Christmas/holidays etc and I was expecting it, so on the look out with Piriton etc and fully prepared to be isolated for a week. I also knew to avoid pregnant women, babies etc before the spots came out when he was most infectious.

It's not for everyone but YABU to judge your friend's actions.

ddubsgirl · 14/03/2011 18:54

ds1 had it over the easter,was shopping with mil when the spots started to come out :( bless him!

QOD · 14/03/2011 19:05

Intentionally exposing your child to a disease is a risk, this comes up every now and then on here - I should do a document to c&p......

My SIL's purposely got their children together at 3.5 (2 of them) and 2.3 - the 2.3 yr old is now 19 and seriously brain damaged from where the cp attacked her cerebellum.

It is the intentional introduction of the disease aspect that has lead SIL that is mum of the damaged child into alcoholism. She lives with horrendous guilt

toeragsnotriches · 14/03/2011 19:28

QOD that's a dreadful story, I'm so sorry.

I just had to cancel a holiday because another mum with DC who attend the same nursery as DS2 thought it was OK to send her DS in with chicken pox. She didn't even tell the nursery as it was 'only a couple of spots' and they were under his T shirt so 'couldn't spread' Hmm .

DS2 got it, then DS1, much worse. DS1 had spots on his eyeballs, down his throat, blisters on his balls... I do appreciate it is worse in adulthood but surely if a DC goes to school or nursery they will catch it at some point anyway.

QOD · 14/03/2011 19:44

Exactly - if they are exposed to it then that is life, if they are very ill from it - same - but if YOU had taken him to play with that little boy intentionally you would have been so upset.

Bless the poor wee man! SOunds awful :( DD had it pretty bad - up her bottom, in her lungs, throat ears etc - but not eyeballs.
Is he ok now?

toeragsnotriches · 14/03/2011 19:58

Yes thanks, much better now but it took a while. I could throttle that damn mother every time I see her. I mean, maybe I'm being a bit unfair and they could have picked it up from somewhere else, but it's around that nursery like wildfire now and I can't help but be all judgey about her.

Jeez, the pox in your lungs sounds awful. Your poor DD.

QOD · 15/03/2011 18:18

yeah and we didn't know anyone else who had it! She just literally picked it up "somewhere". A friends DS had it at the same time but they hadn't been in contact for months
weird

nectarina · 15/03/2011 18:38

It seems like a perfectly logical thing to do - me and my brother and sister got it at the same time, and we got it proportionally worse the older we were. surely it makes sense to get it out of the way than to wait for it to attack further down the line?