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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think chicken pox parties are irresponsible

76 replies

going · 14/03/2011 18:15

An old school friend took her son to one today(I noticed via fb).

Why does anyone choose to make their children ill?

OP posts:
TechnoKitten · 17/03/2011 02:51

I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that if your kids catch it, they get it at a youngish age (> 1, < 5 or so). It does seem to be that the older you are when you catch it, the worse it is. The majority of serious complications from chicken pox are in adult patients.

Deliberately exposing your child - hmmmm. I've often joked with friends "your son has chicken pox? Can I bring mine round?" but never been serious. As it happens, he came out in spots yesterday so has picked it up from somewhere. If he gets complications I will of course be devastated but I think they'd be harder to deal with if I'd taken him to a friend's to catch it deliberately. Then again, if I hadn't & he'd got it much older and been much sicker I'd probably curse myself for not getting him infected at a younger age.

But thank you - this reminds me that I must text a friend who visited over the weekend that her son may come down with it in the next few days.

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 17/03/2011 05:32

If he only came out in spots yesterday he would not have been infectious at the weekend, and if he was it takes 2 weeks to come out.

GotArt · 17/03/2011 05:47

When I was a child it was acceptable to bring kids around the one with CP, but now, its changed/mutated and the vaccination is proving not to be nearly as affective as most believe, children are getting it more than just once, as well as those vaccinated. I have the potential of getting it again as I didn't have a very strong bout of it as at child at 10, and dread my DD getting just for that reason, but my sister caught it the same time. I won't be heading to any CP party anytime.

GotArt · 17/03/2011 05:49

Sorry... its late where I am... my sister caught it at 4 years old and was hospitalized for a month after a CP 'party'. She almost died.

Original poster
going · 17/03/2011 11:07

ragged I'm not campaining for a cp vacination at all. I just don't agree with purposfully exposing a child to cp. Two of my children have had cp, one was two years at the time and my youngest was five weeks old. Neither were very unwell with i but if I had exposed them to it purposefully I would have felt very guilty watching them suffer especially if they had developed complications. My third child hasn't had it yet, I am sure he probably will contract it at some point and don't have an issue with that.

OP posts:
Original poster
going · 17/03/2011 11:14

toeragsnotriches My younger daughter had a milder dose of cp than her sister who she caught it from. I expect it was because she was being breastfed and had my immunity.

OP posts:
lifeinthemidlands · 17/03/2011 11:20

I would have seriously considered it as is it would expose both my children together - if one sibling catches from the other the second child often gets it worse (as actually happened in our case - and there is research to back this up).
The vast majority of kids will get it at some time. The only way to avoid is vaccination so I don't really see how it's irresponsible.

ragged · 17/03/2011 13:09

But I think you should be campaigning, Going. It is completely unreasonable to disapprove of CP parties or complain about kids with active CP not being strictly quarantined, when parents don't have an easy and obvious alternative of vaccination. If you believe that CP is that dangerous then you must agree that there should be an active vaccination programme, it is too widespread to keep leaving to chance who gets it and when and how bad.

cheesesarnie · 17/03/2011 13:19

ds2 has had it about 5 times(twice badly,the other times not so bad).so i hate when people joke-fancy bringing your dc round to a cp party?er no thankyou.

Rebeccaruby · 17/03/2011 13:33

I wouldn't intentionally expose a child to it. But I had it at 13 and it was awful. It went on for two weeks. When my friends with little DCs have it, I'm always amazed that they seem spotty but chirpy, and get over it in a matter of days. Obviously, it's not always the case, but I understand it's easier before puberty.

poorbuthappy · 17/03/2011 13:39

I had it last year (along with all 3 kids, 6 weeks of it in total) and to be honest if I'd had a gun I would have shot myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it is nothing compared to other diseases (well obviously), but I have never been so ill in my life.

My mum actually thought that I had some sort of natural immunity to it having got to 35 without catching it, as I had been exposed to it many many times. Shows how much she knows doesn't it!!!!!

BendyBob · 17/03/2011 13:55

Yanbu, I felt the same.

My dc did catch chicken pox and it was awful esp for dts who were only babies at the time.

But I just couldn't ever deliberately expose them to any illness in the hope they'd catch it.

I kept them al well away from anyone whilst they had it too, which nearly drove us all crazy because each dc caught it one after the other and it dragged on for weeks.

HipHopopotomus · 17/03/2011 14:33

DD has just had it aged 3 - it's swept through her nursery this last month. I'm very relieved it's over and done with now and she had a good enough dose to have lifelong immunity.

Don't know if I would have taken her to a CP party - but I certainly would not have been worried to hear she had been exposed to someone in the contagious stage.

Friends have had holidays ruined by CP arriving at the wrong time. I'm having a baby soon so it was great DD got it before the baby arrived - there are lots of reasons for wanting your kids to get it and get it sooner rather than later. Catching CP at some point is rather inevitable (very few people escape it and arguably those who do have some kind of natural immunity) so CP parties in themselves aren't at all irresponsible IMO.

I had CP at 16 and I was very very sick & off school for 3 weeks not long before important exams. I had 1000's of spots all over me AND inside me!!!

bump you should be fine but its a simple blood test to check. Dr's checked me as a precaution (I was about 30 weeks PG when DD was ill) as you can be given something if you are PG, have lost your CP immunity & have been exposed.

spinaltap · 17/03/2011 16:04

Shit, I had no idea CP had all these potential complications, I'm scared now!
DS is nearly 9 months old and his friend has come down with it this week. They played together last week so he would have been exposed to it. (She had a spot on her chest at the time.) I was not bothered whether he got it or not until reading this thread!

Note to self: don't read ANYTHING on the internet about diseases if you think DS might have it!

bubbleymummy · 17/03/2011 17:52

spinaltap - please don't worry! There are always scare stories posted on these threads because few people will bother to post the non-scary stories which are HUGE majority. Your DS will most likely be absolutely fine if he catches them :) Despite what you are reading on this thread the risk of serious complications is absolutely tiny for CP in childhood. Most of the potential complications occur in adulthood so definitely much better to get them out of the way now :)

bubbleymummy · 17/03/2011 17:53

Should add that the risk in adulthood is still pretty small - just bigger than in childhood iykwim! :)

frazzle26 · 17/03/2011 19:39

I didn't intentionally expose my son to CP but I was secretly quite pleased when he caught ut at nursery at about the age of 2/3. He wasn't that bad with it and hopefully that's it out of the way now.

GotArt · 17/03/2011 20:37

The key spinaltap is to just monitor them. Spots and fever are normal but you will instinctively know if it is going on a bit much and your DC will let you know too through how they behave. For the most part, it seems most kids can get along without much hassle. Although my youngest sister was an extreme case, exacerbated by mom waiting a bit long to take her to the hospital, my middle sister had a 'normal' experience and I only had 3 spots and no fever or anything. I still wouldn't expose them willy nilly, but wouldn't worry too much if they did get it. Just keep on eye on them, the spots and changes in behaviour and fevers.

altinkum · 17/03/2011 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 18/03/2011 10:48

altinkum according to the NHS website
"Chickenpox is most infectious from one to two days before the rash starts until all the blisters have crusted over (which is usually five to six days after the start of the rash). Children should stay home from school and adults should stay off work until the condition is no longer infectious."

HipHopopotomus · 18/03/2011 11:01

which is why it's so contagious - because you can catch CP before the person you catch it from can even know they have it and are contagious.

bruffin · 18/03/2011 11:23

"Chickenpox is most infectious from one to two days before the rash starts until all the blisters have crusted over (which is usually five to six days after the start of the rash). Children should stay home from school and adults should stay off work until the condition is no longer infectious."

We bumped into a friend whose dd had leukhemia the day before DS's spots came out. Poor little girl had to be rushed to GOS for a special vaccine. We were only with them for a few minutes but they got into one of those coin rides together. This was the 4th time the little girl had to have this vaccine. CP could have killed her.

My experience of cp in my immediated aquaintances is one adult death, one childhood stroke and plenty of adults with CP suffering very badly.

I also had shingles in my 20's although quite mildly(only 12 spots on my right buttock) but I could still feel the neuralgia every month as part of pmt for the next 13 years.

Oblomov · 18/03/2011 11:28

I think we are all getting a bit hysterical. Spinaltap is now worried baout her child getting CP, when she shouldn't be. The vast majority of children get it and are a bit unwell , with now future consequences.
Occassioanlly a child gets it and are very unwell, and there are consequences. Probably rare.
And agree hiphop, most contagious period is before the spots even come out. so you probably will catch it from a child, when their mother doesn't even yet know her child has got it. most of us have.
and how do you plan to prevent that , then. you can't. Lets get real.

princessparty · 18/03/2011 11:52

'catching chicken pox gives lifelong immunity
'
not necessarily.Tell that to DS2 who has had it 3 times.

bruffin · 18/03/2011 12:08

Oblomov - there is a difference in getting it unconsciously and deliberately infecting your child, who may then infect someone who is very vulnerable.
If you take your child to a party are you going to keep them home for then next two weeks in case they get it.
We were lucky we knew the little girl with leukhemia and were able to inform her mother as soon as we found out that ds had chicken pox. What would have happened if she had got into that helicopter ride with a strange child whose parent had deliberately infected them.
CP in my experience is not always a mild disease and I would never deliberately infect a child with it. If I had know what I know now about CP I would vaccinate. Shingles can also be vaccinated against .

There is no evidence that proper dosage of the chickenpox vaccine does not give lifelong coverage. The cp vaccine has been given for 25 years in japan and still provide immunity