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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask politely that a visiting child not to have sugar on his cereal?

360 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 10:34

Occasionally I'll have one of DD2's classmates before school, as it helps with his parents' working situation.

I have 4 DCs who obviously will have to be cautious over their eating habits for life. Genes. Sad

Therefore we have only cereals that are not excessively sugary for breakfast.

This child moans about what is on offer at my house. So he then asks for augar to be added to weetabix, which I would rather not, but if DS is not in the room he can have some discreetly, as the girls understand my rationale, but DS is only 4 and I would rather not have this eating style visible to him.

So, AIBU to request politely that he doesn't add sugar when ChaoticBoy is around?

OP posts:
wendylovesbob · 14/03/2011 10:49

I think you're being a bit U to make it about whether or not your son is around.

Absolutely fine to cheerfully say "Nope sorry, no sugar on your weetabix in this house"

Not sure of your back story, but is there a particular reason your 4yo can't understand why he can't have something when someone else has it? Appologies if there are SN issues. Was just thinking that my 4yo would get this concept fine. And my 2yo is dairy intollerant and regularly doesn't have what everyone else has. I'm not saying they like it, but they shrug and get on with it.

Prunnhilda · 14/03/2011 10:50

I would be more irked by the moaning about what is on offer.
I have refused to have a child round for dinner - I just said to his parents 'I don't think he likes any of our food.' The child never stopped complaining.
If he comes round now and even hints at complaining I just say 'What a shame, that's what we have.' Four times out of five he accepts this.

However Weetabix without sugar is surely some sort of torture? Could you offer toast to all the kids when he's staying? And say there's no jam.

winnybella · 14/03/2011 10:50

TBH if a friend was taking care of DD in the mornings and forbid her her sprinkle of sugar on her porridge because her children are not allowed any, I would be a bit Hmm

Aims80 · 14/03/2011 10:50

Well I would say putting sugar on Weetabix is totally unessasary, but everyone has different taste buds!

Why not give him shreddies or something, they're naturally sweeter aren't they? I wouldn't be adding sugar to his cereal myself, just say there isn't any!

worraliberty · 14/03/2011 10:50

Blimey I sound vaguely sane? I'm going for a lie down Grin

littleducks · 14/03/2011 10:51

I wouldn't put sugar on weetabix, or any other cereal. Seems unnecessary to me. My mil and dh have sugar, dh has about three tablespoons (yuck!) and i ask ghat the do it discreetly and mil does not offer to the kids in her house. Maybe buy sugar lumps or brown fir a few weeks till he stops asking.

Offer chopped up banana as a sweetnrr instead.

wendylovesbob · 14/03/2011 10:51

Sorry - wasn't very clear at all there. What I meant to say is you need to decide to either say no sugar, or to say visiting child can have it but ds can't. Sneaking around and "discretely" adding sugar without ds knowing seems a bit silly to me.

QuintessentialShadows · 14/03/2011 10:51

worraliberty, if you read stripeymamas post, that is basically why. She has put it so well.

I do find the idea of sugar on weetabix absurd. It is breakfast, not dessert. If you want added flavour, use nuts, berries or dried fruit.

bupcakesandcunting · 14/03/2011 10:53

Can he have honey instead?

OliPolly · 14/03/2011 10:53

YABU - give him the sugar if you have it

or maybe ask his parents if he is allowed sugar on his weetabix and see their reaction

or even ask them to bring his own sugary cereal Grin

Bloodymary · 14/03/2011 10:53

I do not put sugar on cereal, but little girl has a honey 'snake' on her weetabix. (and she thinks it is a huge treat) Smile

stripeymama · 14/03/2011 10:53

Children are programmed to want sweet stuff - for fast energy and because (going way back here) sweet things are not generally poisonous.

But throughout history a craving for something sweet would have translated into fruit. Refined sugar is a relatively recent dietary addition and tbh a completely unnecessary one.

However I do live in the real world as do my DC, so I don't subject them to ancient grains and dates all the time. Sweets after school on a friday, cakes and puddings a few times a week, ice creams in summer etc are all yummy! But as everyday mealtime food goes, added sugar is not an essential component and we do without it.

worraliberty · 14/03/2011 10:54

Quint That's your opinion but really a little bit of sugar on what is a very important meal is a good thing imo if it helps the child to eat it.

I'd rather a child had a small sprinkle of sugar on a healthy breakfast than opt for a bit of toast because he can't stomach the cereal.

amidaiwish · 14/03/2011 10:54

YABU
a bit of sugar on weetabix is still a very healthy breakfast imo
just put it on discreetly if you don't want your kids having it, they don't have to notice.

this really isn't a big deal. my mum used to let us have coco pops for breakfast, or weetabix with butter spread on it. i am a very healthy size 10. food is fuel.

gorionine · 14/03/2011 10:55

"I do find the idea of sugar on weetabix absurd. It is breakfast, not dessert."

I sometimes put a bit of sugar on the dcs Weetabix and give them fruit for desertShock. How absurd that must sound to you.

microfight · 14/03/2011 10:56

YANBU

Although I don't think it would be a big deal for him to have the sugar at your house I also don't think it would be unreasonable for him not to either.
There is a good life lesson of adaptability here. I remember distinctly having to fit in with which ever family I was with when I was a kid and all children should within(except allergies)reason. It just polite to fit in with your hosts or indeed if you are abroad to try the local food whether adult or child.

FabbyChic · 14/03/2011 10:56

Weetabix without sugar for those who eat it with sugar is really horrible. As you know he has sugar on it, put sugar on it when you make it so he does not have to ask.

catchmeifyoucan · 14/03/2011 10:56

Anyway the only foreseeable outcome from making sugar into a 'demon' food is that as soon as the child has the ability he will overload on sugar in any way possible precisely because it hasn't been allowed at home. Cause and effect you see.

bumpsoon · 14/03/2011 10:57

I think you are being a teeny bit unreasonable , i dont fully understand your 'rationale' or the 'genes' thing regards your childrens eating habits ,perhaps if you expand i will . I personally dont see the harm in a child having one spoonful of sugar on their weetabix , given that sugar is found in just about everything and fruit especially contains it in quite high quantities . But its your home so i guess as a guest this child will just have to follow your rules , guests in my house get special dispensation though Smile

nethunsreject · 14/03/2011 10:57

Who knew sugar on cereal was such a decisive issue! Grin

tyler80 · 14/03/2011 10:58

I would quite happily eat weetabix with milk but without sugar, but I know many many people who wouldn't so I don't think it's unreasonable for a 4 year old to have a small amount.

In the winter I have it with boiling water though and then sugar is required!

Reality · 14/03/2011 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 14/03/2011 10:59

There is nothing wrong with a small amount of sugar on cereal.

Sugar in moderation kick starts a child in a morning and gets them going for the day.

stripeymama · 14/03/2011 11:01

Its a straw man argumant to say sugar is being made into a 'demon food'

Its not. Nobody is trying to say it is. But its undeniably a relatively recent, largely unnecessary, highly calorific, and devoid of nutritional value addition to our diets.

OP's DC are not allowed sugar on cereal for health reasons. She is trying to make sure that they are set up with good eating habits for their future lives that will help them make the best of their genetic makeup.

Its not unreasonable therefore to say that visiting children are subject to the same rule. FFS it won't kill visiting child to go without extra sugar every now and then Hmm

porpoisefull · 14/03/2011 11:02

It would never occur to me that anyone would add sugar to Weetabix and clearly there are lots of people who think it strange to eat it without - I love the insights that MN gives into people's lives! (am nosy)