Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask politely that a visiting child not to have sugar on his cereal?

360 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 10:34

Occasionally I'll have one of DD2's classmates before school, as it helps with his parents' working situation.

I have 4 DCs who obviously will have to be cautious over their eating habits for life. Genes. Sad

Therefore we have only cereals that are not excessively sugary for breakfast.

This child moans about what is on offer at my house. So he then asks for augar to be added to weetabix, which I would rather not, but if DS is not in the room he can have some discreetly, as the girls understand my rationale, but DS is only 4 and I would rather not have this eating style visible to him.

So, AIBU to request politely that he doesn't add sugar when ChaoticBoy is around?

OP posts:
Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 14:56

Yeah, other DC comes once a week occasionally.

I'm not denying them sugar and wheat - they don't want sugar on cereals as have not experienced it and are very content without. I have am awkward 4yo who if he saw this other boy having sugar, would immediately want it and thus cause me earache when I'm trying to get out the house in the morning.

OP posts:
macdoodle · 14/03/2011 14:56

Dear god, its a sprinkle of sugar, get a grip.

wendylovesbob · 14/03/2011 14:57

I agree with Pag re helping children understand what they can and can't eat. I explain to my 2yo that he can't have some things. As a family, we try to present it in a positive light; it is GOOD that he doesn't have dairy now because dairy makes him poorly. "Isn't it nice now ds isn't poorly any more."

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 14:57

gg macd, have you read my posts.

Confused
OP posts:
Tortington · 14/03/2011 14:58

i think a 4 yo can be told no - lifes unfair and all that - get off the floor - no ones listening, crying won't do you any good - are you going to eat it? right then its going in the bin and you can do without
Wink

saffy85 · 14/03/2011 14:59

I personally couldn't eat weetabix without sugar, but the party line in this house for any children asking for sugar on their Frosties Confused is "we don't have any". End of discussion.

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 14:59

It's not a can/can't issue though.

Which I am thankful for, I have friends whose DCs have can/can't issues and life is tricky and these children are brilliant over their needs.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 15:00

Yeah, that's what I do custy, but I like an easy-ish life in the hectic mornings - tantrum avoidance is the best way.

Smile
OP posts:
NoVittyAte · 14/03/2011 15:03

If you don't want them to have a wheat-based breakfast as well as lunch, then have you had a think about what might be in, er weetabix? Grin

macdoodle · 14/03/2011 15:04

Yes we are also prone to emmm "sturdiness" in this house, so we have everything in moderation, a half teaspoon of sugar sprinkled on a weetabix is NOT going to cause life long obesity, but banning everything sugary and tasty might set up lifelong eating issues.

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 15:07

Blush Oops I think I meant bread based. alopogies.

I'm NOT BANNING!!!

OP posts:
girlfromdownsouth · 14/03/2011 15:10

Chaos it is your house therefore your rules. If your children don't get sugar on their cereal then this DC does not either.

How Weetabix tastes with or without sugar is entirely besides the point.

You don't have sugar on cereal in your house - full stop.

CoffeeDodger · 14/03/2011 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 15:12

Again, I'm not denying.

My DC are happy to eat cereal without sugar.

OP posts:
tyler80 · 14/03/2011 15:15

If you had an adult visitor who wanted sugar in their tea/coffee would you say they couldn't have it because you don't take sugar?

DandyDan · 14/03/2011 15:24

I agree with tyler80 - because this boy is a child, he is not being offered something that many children and adults actually like to make their breakfast cereal palatable. If he were an adult, you wouldn't refuse him sugar on his cereal surely?

It is his age which is being used as the deciding factor here, which I think is unreasonable in a request that is rather slight.

cep · 14/03/2011 15:25

I have never put sugar on any of ds's cereals (including w/bix) It might be an idea (like someone else said) to put naturally sweet fruits in with it for everyone maybe to solve arguments on the day this child is round. I don't want ds to get to the stage where he HAS to have sugar to eat his cereal, same with butter, he has butter with things like ham, but p/butter and spreadable cheese i don't tend to put butter on it. my dh slathers his sandwiches in butter and i don't want ds to be the same. Ds gets his sugar fix from a little cake roll he has with his lunch, odd chocolate and sweets.

thumbwitch · 14/03/2011 15:32

tyler, that's a non-argument - if another adult wanted sugar in their tea/coffee, you, as the hostess, wouldn't immediately want some sugar in your tea/ coffee just because yoru guest did - but that is what would happen with Chaos's boy.

Chaos - tbh, I think YANBU - but it's not going to happen. Either this boy is going to have to have his sugar or you will get a tantrum from him, no doubt - so just put it on before the milk so your DS can't see it. :)

Laquitar · 14/03/2011 15:36

Chaos you are saying they are happy to eat cereal without sugar but then you said if the other boy has sugar they will ask for sugar too. The thing is they will always see someone else eating sugar, chocolate, nutella whatever. So this is not teaching them 'to make choices' as you claimed earlier.

I have told my dcs that if they have too much sugar on weekdays they will be too tired by afternoon (it is true) for their activities that they love so we better keep the chocolate and cakes for weekends. It worked so far.

I'm not sure why the other cereal you said you have are better than toast especially toast with protein i.e. peanut butter or egg?

cat64 · 14/03/2011 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cat64 · 14/03/2011 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

exoticfruits · 14/03/2011 16:43

Some thing is wrong in the statements-if they are really happy to have it without sugar why would they ask for it when someone else has it? I wasn't into copying others over food as a DC-either I liked it or I didn't.I wouldn't say -I like it without sugar and then ask for sugar!

KickArseQueen · 14/03/2011 16:46

Meh! give them all toast that day!

FellatioNelson · 14/03/2011 16:50

Sorry Chaos but I've got to say YABU. Well, you are not, except that I (and all my children) consider cereal only barely palatable when --liberally- sugared. I'd rather be savaged by piranhas than eat totally unsweetened cereal - especially weetabix which is the devil's work anyway. Grin

If you have managed to set a precedent that your children are happy with that's great, but not everyone will have been subject to the same conditioning and by refusing the request for sugar the child would be a) confused and b) politely shuffling it round his plate and thinking 'boak - this is grim' and going hungry.

You need to think ahead in future - maybe offer toast instead!

MadameCastafiore · 14/03/2011 16:55

Yuck!!

DS eats weetabix without sugar but it makes me heave - I have to have at least a whole teaspoon on each biscuit or have something yummy like Crunchy Nut Cornflakes!

I don't drink tea though - think it is a filthy habit so if you came to my house I would deny you tea! Unreasonable - YES!!!!!!

And don;t say you don;t have any that is a lie, why would you lie over something so stupid. If your kid asks fro sugar say no I am your mum and you aren;t allowed it - visiting kid with black teeth is because his mum says it is ok.