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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask politely that a visiting child not to have sugar on his cereal?

360 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 14/03/2011 10:34

Occasionally I'll have one of DD2's classmates before school, as it helps with his parents' working situation.

I have 4 DCs who obviously will have to be cautious over their eating habits for life. Genes. Sad

Therefore we have only cereals that are not excessively sugary for breakfast.

This child moans about what is on offer at my house. So he then asks for augar to be added to weetabix, which I would rather not, but if DS is not in the room he can have some discreetly, as the girls understand my rationale, but DS is only 4 and I would rather not have this eating style visible to him.

So, AIBU to request politely that he doesn't add sugar when ChaoticBoy is around?

OP posts:
Lucy88 · 15/03/2011 20:56

YANBU

Your house, your rules.

You need to be consistent with this though. If you say No sugar, then its no sugar all the time. I wouldn't allow sugar (even a small sprinkle) on cereal - might a well let them eat chocolate for breakfast. We had sugar on cereal as kids and you want to see the state of my teeth (despite brushing twice a day). My DS eats very little with sugar in it and has beautiful teeth.

In my house, we do not drink juice (water and milk) and when my 3 yr old Nephew comes round and asks for juice and coke, he gets told 'We do not drink those things, you can have water or milk'. He only had to ask twice and get the same answer twice and now he drinks what we drink.

Bogeyface · 15/03/2011 22:23

The sugar in tea for visitors has been mentioned, and someone said everyone has it in. Ermm...I dont!

I never buy sugar unless I am baking, it simply doesnt occur to me to buy as we never use it, no one has it in tea etc. In the same way that my friend doesnt by coffee as she doesnt drink it so it isnt on her radar. None of my regular visitors take sugar, so again, it doesnt occur to me that I should have some in.

On the odd occasion it has been requested I explain that I dont have any sugar, making out I have run out usually Hmm and 90% say its fine without (which begs the question why they have it with at all!) and the other 10% dont have a drink!

LowRegNumber · 15/03/2011 22:34

FWIW I do think you are being a bit too concious about food (ie not having toast as you don't want two wheat based meals) however I do not see why anyone who has non-sugary-cereal-eating dc would want that changed! Of course a little bit won't hurt but none will not hurt either!

My own dc never had sugar on cereal until ex and I split up, then dd1 wanted sugar on weetabix because "Daddy lets me" when I asked him why he said it was because he does not like it without so thought she wouldn't either - despite having eaten plain weetabix for aobut 3 years by then Confused

Anyway, the basic question here is "Can I ask a regular 10yo guest not to use something in front of my small child - something I do not want my small child to have - in order to avoid morning meltdown?" and the answer is "yes you can, at 10yo there is no reason why you cannot ask them to either not have it or be discrete about it. YANBU" Grin

So there [wunk]

thumbwitch · 15/03/2011 22:35

Chaos, I still think you're not wrong here. It's not like you can explain the situation to a 4yo - they don't get it, all they can see is that someone else is having something different and they "wanna try it!"

I don't have sugar in my tea either. Or on my fruit - my mum always used to give us strawberries drenched in sugar - ugh! DS has never had sugar on his strawberries or any other summer fruit.

exoticfruits · 15/03/2011 22:35

I think it is only polite to have some. I helped my mother pack up her house recently, we left out the kettle, tea etc and then I realised that we had packed the sugar and the removal men would want it. I had to search for it. I was right they all took 2 spoons each and I think it would have been very rude to have said that we had run out. It isn't up to me to tell them they shouldn't have it! If I didn't drink coffe I would certainly have some in to offer to visitors.
Most of my friends don't take sugar but I would always have it in.
I never eat biscuits but I get some in to offer to visitors.
It seems very rude and self centred to say I don't have it-tough!

exoticfruits · 15/03/2011 22:38

It is hardly difficult to have sugar in, we hardly use any so it seems to last for ever-I should think that I bought the last bag in the summer and it will certainly get past this summer-probably beyond Christmas. It doesn't go off.

step2 · 15/03/2011 22:45

I could understand if your child would have an allergic reaction if they came into contact with sugar or sweet things. What if you have adults staying who desire sugar with whatever? What about when your child goes elsewhere? What about at school or school trips to come?

Tryharder · 15/03/2011 22:52

It never occurred to me that people would eat Weetabix without sugar....I don't like them in any case but my Dcs have them with half a teaspoon of sugar on.

You lot would be shocked by my DH - he has 6 spoons of sugar in a mug of tea. It is truly vile.

PreferredPlanet · 15/03/2011 23:24

Can't believe the number of YABUs on here. People put sugar on Weetabix?? How bizarre - it's already got sugar in it!!

squeakytoy · 15/03/2011 23:26

I am guessing a lot of home baking doesnt go on with all those who never have sugar in the house. Grin

ChaosTech · 15/03/2011 23:29

step2 my Dc sleep in drawers as it is, no room for guests.

Wink

As for other scenarios - all fine - all those times he can have either have it (as he hasn't overdosed at unnecessary times) or I can explain to him the situation, because time isn't squeezing my brain as it is at 8am.

Smile
Valpollicella · 15/03/2011 23:35

Late to the party here but DS has only ever had Weetabix without sugar on it. I tried to add some raisins once for a bit of variety and he looked at me like this > Hmm

It's what you get used to I suppose. And I wouldn't add sugar to cereal becuase it's an 'empty calorie' content to what can be a reasonably healthy breakfast

thumbwitch · 15/03/2011 23:45

really don't understand why people are comparing it with adults having sugar in their tea - there IS no comparison! this is a child, whose behaviour could have an impact on a child of the house.
Unless you are a complete lemming and have to copy whatever anyone who comes to your house does, then sugar in adult tea is not relevant!

Habbibu · 15/03/2011 23:45

Wow - what a bizarrely polarising thread! FWIW I drenched my cereal in sugar as a child, and then for some reason as an adult stopped doing it - think there may have been a hiatus of several years where all I ate was toast - and now find most cereals very sweet anyway. I hate the texture of Weetabix, so don't eat it, but tried an Oatibix a while ago, and found it incredibly sweet. You can change "bliss points" for salt and sugar - for better or worse and for the sake of one child visiting once a week(?) I really couldn't be arsed arguing with the 4yo (and sure, clam, in theory that's how it would work, but sane parent trying to get out of the door may not actually find it that easy when 4yo claims the sky will fall in if he's not allowed the same thing. dd gets exercised over whether she's got the same kind of plait as her friends, fgs, and she's a pretty chilled 4yo).

I'd do what Blu and DropDead said. Of course no-one is going to get poisoned by sugar on cereal, but if children have lowish bliss points for sugar that's no bad thing, and no point pissing about with it because of one meal a weeek.

thumbwitch · 15/03/2011 23:46

habbibu - sane and reasoned post (and slightly aerated than mine Grin)

Habbibu · 15/03/2011 23:47

Chaos does have sugar in the house - who said she didn't? I hear she bathes in it in secret.

thumbwitch · 15/03/2011 23:49

slightly LESS aerated than mine

ChaosTech · 15/03/2011 23:50

Oh, I have sugar, I bathe in it with Nutella and lard.

Habbibu · 15/03/2011 23:50

Thanks, thumb.

exotic, given that most cereal does have quite a bit of sugar in it, allowing breakfast cereal is allowing sugar in moderation, as is eating cake, etc, but allowing sugar in moderation doesn't necessarily mean adding it to everything either. I mean, would you add sugar to a banana? that's how I'd feel about adding sugar to most cereal. I do add sugar to porridge (atm dcs don't) but that has no added sugar to start with.

solo · 15/03/2011 23:51

My Ds was brought up knowing he couldn't have certain foods when younger. He made people laugh when he said 'No thank you, I'm not allowed to have those, they make me go wally' Grin He knew he wasn't allowed because of xyz, so he didn't eat whatever.
I think you'd be better off if your Ds learns and accepts that he can't have certain things tbh.

ChaosTech · 15/03/2011 23:51

Folks, That's not as strange a statement as it first apppears.

Thumy is on the other side of the moon world.

[wunk]

seasalt · 15/03/2011 23:53

This thread is making me want weetabix with sugar Smileright now

startail · 15/03/2011 23:56

UABU weetabix without sugar, you might as well feed the poor child the box and believe me if you are too strict with your own kids they will be stupid behind your back as soon as they have the freedom.

ChaosTech · 15/03/2011 23:56
Valpollicella · 15/03/2011 23:58

Startail, that's a bit extreme. Chaos might not want her kids eating sugar on their cereal but you really don't know what she lets them have otherwise.

And by the way, my DS is happy with the box tasting Weetabix without anything on it...see my post above for when I tried to add something to it...

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