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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect the charity shop staff to say "thank you" when I donate something?

55 replies

tolipfinityandbeyond · 13/03/2011 23:02

I went into a local charity shop today to give them an unopened pair of very trendy curtains. My daughter, who has special needs, wanted to hand them to the staff member, who was busy chatting to another guy (I got the impression that they were mates by the way they were talking) and as she handed them over, I said we'd like to donate these. He took them from my daughter, and carried on chatting with his mate! Not even a thank you!

Now I don't expect a fanfare, that's not why we donated them. And it was only one item, not a big bag of stuff (I couldn't carry more today) but it was obviously something brand new!

I have given items to charity shops many times in the past, and the staff have always been lovely.

I've got a big bag of other stuff for a charity shop, I will be donating to a different one...

OP posts:
onehotmomma · 13/03/2011 23:07

yanbu he should at least have said thank you imo

Spatz · 13/03/2011 23:08

YANBU this is a constant problem for me when I donate. In my two local shops they are always really grumpy - I feel I'm just making more work for them.

dinosaurkisses · 13/03/2011 23:09

I get what you mean. I give a lot of stuff to charity shops rather than ebaying and stuff- I'd rather give it to someone who could really benefit from it. I don't expect a song and dance every time I leave a donation in, but a thank you would be very appreciated.

Have you thought about trying to find your local women's shelter and seeing if they'd accept donations?

nailak · 13/03/2011 23:17

they are doing you a favour by taking your unwanted stuff dont you know..

dinosaurkisses · 13/03/2011 23:20

nailak- no, they aren't. It would be way more convenient for me and many other people just to leave stuff at the dump or for the bin men to collect. Instead, I choose to give my unwanted (and usable!) items to a local cancer charity because I'd like to see some good come out of it. The OP already said she didn't expect a fanfare, just an acknowledgement of her donation, which I don't think is unreasonable.

beesimo · 13/03/2011 23:24

I once donated some beautiful girls clothes which had been worn for best at family weddings ect because my lasses had outgrown them to HTA I brought them into the shop on hangers and yes I did expect a bit of thanks, nothing but sour faces oh well I thought someones having a bad day said goodbye nicely to them. Left the shop realised I had left the matching shoes in car took them into shop overheard them talking about me as in who does she think she is fucking rich bitch. We do ok but by God we work for it. SO i MARCHED up into the store room and boy did the faces drop funnily enough neither dared say it to my face. The truth is OP quite often people hate you for being able to give nice stuff riddled with jealousy see fact of life pet.

Original poster
tolipfinityandbeyond · 13/03/2011 23:25

I think there is a wonen's shelter and I have some stuff I would like to donate to them and only them. Trouble is as I don't drive, it may be hard to get to with a load of stuff. Especially as one of the items is a tv! I will have to look into a way of getting stuff there. I know my old health visitor used to take stuff there, but i'm under a different hv now. I'll ask her!

Kids clothes and toys could go to the children's ward of my local hospital (I know from experience that they get through a lot!) and I could hand them to the next paediatric nurse who visits us (one comes when my daughter's gastrostomy tube needs changing as I'm a wuss!)

But today I walked past one charity shop as I really wanted to donate to this particular one, thinking about the Japan earthquake. Am I allowed to say the name of the shop? Begins with O anyway! And ends with M.

OP posts:
rinabean · 13/03/2011 23:29

Well, do you thank them for working there? They are also donating to the charity when you are.

I agree that manners don't cost anything - but when no-one's paying them it makes it a little harder to complain Wink

nailak · 13/03/2011 23:31

i was joking btw....

round here the charity shops will pick up stuff from your house, like tvs etc

Honeydragon · 13/03/2011 23:37

Well tbf they'd have to find other unpaid work if they didn't get the donations. If they are unprofessional, and treat the job like they are doing the world a favour how are they supporting the charity Confused, I've volunteered in a lot of charity shops where volunteers would only work from house so they could be seen

They also take on people for work experience, would you want your dc to come away think work means chatting to your mates all day, and effectively ignoring your suppliers. At the end of the day, thats what the op was.

UANBU at all

PatientGriselda · 13/03/2011 23:37

Or doing community service, rinabean...

Honeydragon · 13/03/2011 23:38

front house ...doh!

Nalik, I gotcha that it was tongue in cheek Grin

Original poster
tolipfinityandbeyond · 13/03/2011 23:39

beesimo that's appalling! I would have grabbed them back and taken them to another shop if I'd experienced that!

These curtains aren't THAT special, just from Argos! But they wouldn't have noticed anyway, too busy nattering on about heaven knows what.

My God though, that's disgraceful, I hope you contacted the charity to complain or something! I have sent an email to the branch of the shop I donated to.

OP posts:
ICanPluck · 13/03/2011 23:40

YANBU. A few weeks ago I donated 8 bin bags full of clothes, baby clothes/toys - all decent stuff, I sorted it all out beforehand and threw out the tat. I parked outside, stacked the bags outside the shop and then took them all in - not one of the 5 staff who saw me piling them up and bringing them in offered to lend a hand.

Said to the lady behind the counter - "I've just had a clear out and all of these clothes have barely been worn, some even have tags still on, an the toys are in perfect condition :)".... her reply? "Great flicks pages of magazine KAAAATE more stuff to sort out now sighs". I kid you not. I did this face Shock quickly followed by Hmm and said "You're very welcome" and walked out.

Original poster
tolipfinityandbeyond · 13/03/2011 23:41

nailak I got your humour anyway, must be vodka deficiency...!

OP posts:
Original poster
tolipfinityandbeyond · 13/03/2011 23:47

All these stories are making me want to just stuff everything into those bags that come through the door... to be collected on Wednesday if they can be bothered... and I know some are genuine, but it's obvious some aren't.

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 13/03/2011 23:51

ICanPluck

You can never win can you? I called my local charity shop to see if they wanted books as they can get overstocked and had 3 boxes. I don't drive so put them in a trailer, dd in the sling and walked to town to drop them off.

I opened the door and the lady behind the counter went "stop there you" then hollered " Jane, do we need books or shall I ask this Lady to leave with them" Shock

Fortuitously, Jane was the manager who I had spoken to on the phone. She put counter lady in her place. As all the volunteers were female and a lot little older than myself I asked Jane if she would hold dd, I would carry the boxes in the back for them? DD was being extra cute and cuddly that day, so Jane was happy to be obliged and counter lady went into a sulk as she didn't get baby cuddles.

I took dd back after her cuddle and shop tour, left gracefully and only went "hah!" at her in my head, rather than aloud Wink

chickchickchicken · 13/03/2011 23:56

yanbu. i avoid my nearest charity shop because they were very rude when i took some stuff in. i drive a bit further to give stuff to the shop where they are friendly.

if you want to donate to the womens shelter but dont drive you could always ring and ask if they could collect. if you have items particularly suited to women and children who are in refuge/about to set up a new home after possibly leaving their previous with nothing then they will probably come and collect

chickchickchicken · 13/03/2011 23:59
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Original poster
tolipfinityandbeyond · 14/03/2011 00:02

Honeydragon, I loved reading that! The inner "hah!" must have been pretty satisfying in that situation!

chickchickchicken I think I may do that! Most of what I have to donate would fit into that catagory.

OP posts:
beesimo · 14/03/2011 00:08

I was hurt and shocked OP I have supported that shop for years driving miles out my way to drop stuff off those women don't know me as a person but I have never been grand or rude to them so why the nastiness that is a big question isn't it the fact is some people are just plain nasty. I wasn't going to go out of there shamed or in tears like a bullied bairn so I told them straight they were a pair of two faced nasty bitches and went out head held high feeling if not ok about my self a lot better.

beesimo · 14/03/2011 00:09

No I won't be reporting its done and dusted and I am not giving it headspace anymore

Original poster
tolipfinityandbeyond · 14/03/2011 00:31

Beesimo, good for you, glad you told them what you thought of them!

OP posts:
randommoment · 14/03/2011 00:32

YANBU!!! My ex-MIL spent most of her time volunteering in a charity shop, it gave her an in-exhaustible supply of other old biddies to chatter with. Having said that, she would have said thank-you, but she was mostly there for the craic.

Original poster
tolipfinityandbeyond · 14/03/2011 00:50

Let's face it. People volunteer to work in charity shops for all kinds of reasons. Some because they really want to help the charity, some for a laugh, some to get out of the house, some for something extra on their C.V. Whatever their reason, rudeness is rudeness!

OP posts:
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