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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect the charity shop staff to say "thank you" when I donate something?

55 replies

tolipfinityandbeyond · 13/03/2011 23:02

I went into a local charity shop today to give them an unopened pair of very trendy curtains. My daughter, who has special needs, wanted to hand them to the staff member, who was busy chatting to another guy (I got the impression that they were mates by the way they were talking) and as she handed them over, I said we'd like to donate these. He took them from my daughter, and carried on chatting with his mate! Not even a thank you!

Now I don't expect a fanfare, that's not why we donated them. And it was only one item, not a big bag of stuff (I couldn't carry more today) but it was obviously something brand new!

I have given items to charity shops many times in the past, and the staff have always been lovely.

I've got a big bag of other stuff for a charity shop, I will be donating to a different one...

OP posts:
randommoment · 14/03/2011 01:01

I used to take our stuff to the nearest one, but they started getting all picky, and wouldn't help carry it in, even though the traffic warden was loitering about with a nasty gleam in her eye. Now I take it to one further down the road, where it is met with gleeful joy. Result!

nectarina · 14/03/2011 06:31

One of the last times i donated to my local charity shop, i gave them the bags and started browsing the books. They didn't take the bags through to the back but opened them there on the counter, going through them, making comments on every item. "most of this stuff needs throwing away, we can't sell this sort of thing". I was mortified. It was all nearly new, but i think to the 2 lovely ladies they couldn't imagine wearing it, so tyey couldn't imagine anyone else wanting it.

Lollypolly · 14/03/2011 06:44

I had to bin a load of baby toys (that I had painstakingly cleaned) because 4 charity shops refused them. They didn't even look inside the bags (it was all good stuff, not broken, used by one child etc) and told me that they weren't accepting toys.

In the end I stuck them in the bin....

Islandlady · 14/03/2011 08:57

Lets have the other side of the argument shall we.

I work as an unpaid volunteer in a charity shop ( we have no paid onsite managers just an area manager) I am a keyholder and last week worked 6 days unpaid as the only other keyholder is on holiday (I shall be doing the same this week).

I always say to any donator without fail 'thats very kind, thank you for thinking of us ' always.

However last week I was on my own for part of the time, when I am on my own I cannot go outside and help people unload their cars, I cannot allow people to bring in their donations through the back door and go into the stock area where I also keep my personal posessions and the safe with money in it

I got shouted at last week by one woman because I couldnt leave the shop empty to help her and she took her donations elsewhere, that hurt as I wanted her donations to help the animals, but there was nothing I could do except make the area manager aware.

I have had people rip the price tag off clothes
I put out a monsoon skirt the other unworn so the price reflected that, someone took the tag of and presented it to me with a 99p sticker on then got ratty when I refused to sell it to her at the price.

I can do that as I have the confidence but some of the older ladies would have just sold it at that price. (BTW I DID see her do it)

I have spent time and effort in doing the front windows only to have someone go into the window and destroy the display to feel the material of a skirt
despite a polite note asking people to ask a member of staff to take stuff from the window ( I bet they wouldn't go into M&S and go into their windows and destroy the displays but they think they can do it here).

Despite this I love working there as we have lovely volunteers and very nice customers, I shall miss it when I leave, but my experience there has led to a paid job in another charity shop.

lesley33 · 14/03/2011 09:16

I have found charity shops in poorer areas to be more grateful and less likely to bin your stuff, than charity shops in well off areas.

A friend volunteered in a local charity shop in a well off area. She was shocked at the attitude of some of the customers and a few volunteers. Its not easy to get people to volunteer who are regular and reliable.

Also as no paid staff are there, I guess it can be really difficult for management in the charity to know if there are problems with volunteers, if you don't complain to them. I would complain - not for your benefit, but the charitys.

daimbardiva · 14/03/2011 09:57

YANBU at all - I've given loads of stuff to charity recently, and the non-enthusiasm with which it is received has almost put me off giving in future. I'm not asking for a fanfare either - but a cheery smile and a thanks-very-much are surely not beyond anyone?

ZZZenAgain · 14/03/2011 10:01

boy, I know. I dropped some stuff off one day and I got a snarl to "wait while I check if it is any good" fgs.

So she went out the back to rifle through it whilst I stood there feeling chastised and when she came back she said , "yes, it is all alright"

nice, very nice

AlistairSim · 14/03/2011 10:04

How do you get in contact with a local women's shelter?

ZZZenAgain · 14/03/2011 10:11

wow@ beesimo - have never been back to hear in like that so have never heard myself discussed at a charity shop. If they don't want to see "rich bitches" dropping off good quality clothes, why are they working there?

ZZZenAgain · 14/03/2011 10:12

...unintelligible sorry, have never been back into a shop like that after dropping something off

fetlock · 14/03/2011 10:19

they aren't doing their chosen charity to represent any favours, infact they are doing the opposite. loads of people i know, myself included always ignore one of the particular charity shops where we live (there are LOADS) due to only miserable old bags working in there, surely if dealing with the public you should have some kind of at least vaguely friendly way about you. i had an awful experience in the dreaded shop and i let rip to the womens face (she wasn't old, around 50 odd). so bloody rude, asked me if the stuff was clean. clean? bloody new designer jeans and three new shirts given to me by someone who works in fashion. she didn't even look up from her magasine she was reading, she grunted and pointed to the stock room at the other end of the shop. i wanted to punch her lights out (not literally but was fuming)

FreudianSlippery · 14/03/2011 10:23

YANBU! I've recently started working in a charity shop and we always smile and say thank you no matter what is being donated.

Even though we are all secretly thinking "AAAAARGH not MORE stuff!" - stock room is overflowing as it is!

Fimbo · 14/03/2011 10:24

I had them talking about me too. I used to help out at a playgroup who had very little money. They needed a toilet trainer seat for the toilets in the hall they use. The local charity shop had one in the window. I asked them to keep it aside while I nipped to the cashpoint up the way to get money out to pay for it. When I came back the staff were standing gossiping along the lines of "why on earth would you buy a second hand toilet seat how disgusting!" I kid you not and they had it for sale! I paid for the seat and left, seething and wishing I had said something. I did clean the seat in Milton and give it a thorough washing!

GColdtimer · 14/03/2011 10:35

Alistairsim here you go

For kids stuff, your local children's centre also might like them. I took a sterliser, breast pump and a bag full of clothes to my local one and they were really, really pleased.

There are 2 charity shops I avoid in our town because they are so rude. And a couple that are lovely. I also completely avoid donating to the really large developmental charity. i did some freelance PR work for them and the amount of money that is wasted in that place is shocking.

AlbinoLadybird · 14/03/2011 10:44

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ZZZenAgain · 14/03/2011 10:54

didn't know that albineo

beesimo · 14/03/2011 12:30

Note I haven't always been a 'f rich bitch' one of the reasons I have nearly new special expensive lasses dresses to pass on is although the younger girls wear inherited jodphurs, yard jumpers ect from their big sister I always buy their best clothes new for them because on special occasions I want the young ones to feel special too. Everything extra nice I had as a bairn had been worn by my big sisters first and oh dear but I minded so much. It wasn't Mams fault she loved us equally but she struggled with wasting nearly new dresses 'thats bit tight on you but it will fit our B' One of the reasons I drive 20 miles to HTA is I don't want any lass to have to wear somthing thinking thats Bessimos lass2 dress. It is so stange the memories who make us who we are.

ZZZenAgain · 14/03/2011 12:32

y

beesimo · 14/03/2011 12:35

That why the fucking rich bitch slur hurt yes I am 'rich' but no I am not I bitch. I don't really care but I do if you know what I mean. I am just glad I faced them out over it.

ZZZenAgain · 14/03/2011 12:37

sorry you went through that

blinks · 14/03/2011 12:40

agree with the community service bit, my dad (oh the pride), had to do his in a charity shop.

MrsKwazii · 14/03/2011 13:01

Seems to be a recurring theme here - I will only donate to one of our local charity shops now. I used to alternate donations, but when I dropped in some bags once, I was met with a massive sigh and admonished by the manager "Well, it's very late to be bringing this in!" (at 4pm) with a big helping of attitude. I complained to the charity - they never responded - so they get nothing donated.

Honeydragon · 14/03/2011 13:11

I do all my shopping in charity shops pretty much and have had the staff turn their nose up at what I'm buying (normally it happens with shoes), I also wonder why they sell it if they disapprove?

The toilet seat thing cracks me up, surely all toilet seats are "used", what do they do when the need the toilet in the shop? Bring a seat from home? Grin

AlistairSim · 14/03/2011 13:50

Thanks, Twofalls, I'll give my nearest one a call today.

controlpantsandgladrags · 14/03/2011 14:35

Our local one is awful too. I think the main problem is that the staff are all old ladies of retirement age and are there for the social interaction rather than because they want to work. Donating stuff takes them away from the their chit chat and bourbons.