To think breast fed babies are more intellegent

[thecatamongthepidgeons]

Because their parents tend to be more intellegent not because they were breast fed?
More intellegent parents are more likely to choose to breast feed regardless of any dificulties they face if they think it will benefit their children.

RubyBuckleberry - if I had come across attitudes like yours when I was struggling with the feelings of failure that came from failing to breastfeed my dses (see further up the thread for the story of how my milk couldn't nourish either ds2 or ds3, and led to ds2 being in hospital, labelled as 'failure to thrive'), it would have devastated me.

I suffer depression anyway, but suffered PND as well after each baby's birth. Frankly, if someone had said half the things to me that you have said on this thread about substandard milk etc, I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE!! I was pretty close to the edge on many occasions, and you would have pushed me over the edge.

THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT HOW YOU TALK ABOUT FORMULA FEEDING. Attitudes like yours could cause incalculable pain to real women like me and others on this thread - how can you justify doing that????

ruby it makes no more sense to berate women who ff their children as it would be to judge women who haven't been able to carry their pregnancies to term, suffer pnd, or have an emergency c-section. our bodies don't all work perfectly in every area.

bf came very easily to me with both DCs from day 1, so it was a no brainer, for many of my friends that wasn't the case. none of them just decided they couldn't be arsed to bf - all had their own mental, emotional issues or physical issues. i would no more judge them for ff then they'd judge me for electing for a c-sec with dc2.

tsc have you informed the bald co-pilot that it's 'just food'?

Until someone can show me the evidence of twins raised in a laboratory from birth to 18 years, one EBF and one FF - the BFN's can all kiss my arse because I think it's a big ol' bunch of hooey. In fact, I think extended BF's do it for themselves, not the children.

Who gives a flying fuck how another woman is feeding their baby/placing the car seat/arguing with their partner in front of the children/reading low-rent literature/buying clothes from Tesco? If you do actually care about any of these things I suggest you go and get yourself a good old dollop of "life" (or a shag) because you're going crackers.

Oh and here's a question I always wanted answered. You know how people get their knickers all in a twist over the whole Nestle thing? Why didn't those women in "wherever" simply re-start with the old bf'ing given that the way it's talked over on these boards means it's oh so easy.

cakesandroses Actually I've decided that following my failure to gestate to full-term and my emcs, I'm going to shove him up my foo-foo and do it properly! Because there's only one way to give birth you know and that's "naturally" and without pain relief.

T"he ability to comfort your baby when they're unwell/get them off to sleep/stop them crying/reconnect with them after being away is one of the huge benefits of breastfeeding that nobody talks about - it's a tool for parenting that many mothers and babies get a lot out of emotionally."

Maybe noone talks about it Spudulike because it is only one way of doing all those thing. FF mothers do all these things too. They have the ability to connect with out baby even with empty boobs. Could argue that makes them even better, more inventive mothers really couldn't you?
I have never heard such a lot of tosh in one sentence in my life as it implies that NOT bfing means you can't do all those things.

alpine cos i am tired and grumpy having been up with my FORMULA FED 6wk old baby i will bravely agree with you,i have bf 3 sucessfully and ff the last 2 and i dont get the passion or the irrational interest in other people not feeding,surely its no more anyone elses business than how you give birth or wean your baby.
I often wonder how many millitant bf's go on to only offer a perfect diet and exercise regime to themselves and their families,and when they finish bf what do they do then,as it seems to fil such a large part of their lives.
There is no doubt breast milk is the best option but i really cannot see what the issue is with how other people choose to feed.
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Also if you know so much about it then you would also know that in some cases a woman really cannot feed and that is that,enjoy what you are doing and leave other people to enjoy their experiences without judgement.

One could also argue the point that a child should learn other ways to be comforted as well as having something sweet shoved in their gob

I have 4 DC's and reckon you could use them for an experiment. DS1 BF for 1 week and then FF fully for 1 year. DS2 BF for 6 weeks and then BF/FF till 1. DS3 EBF for 16 weeks then weaned onto solids BF till 17 months. DD EBF till 17 weeks then continued to BF till she was 2 years 4 months (that makes me both a FF mother and an extended BF so I can be mocked by everyone ).
Anyway maybe we could compare their health outcomes/education outcomes etc etc in later life.
OOPS but then I would have had to feed them an entirely identical diet, stimulated them in exactly the same way for the same duration and ensured they had the same amount of daily excercise. But it might all count for nothing as DS1 had a congenital renal problem that may affect his blood pressure later in life regardless of how he was fed as a baby.

OR I could just get on with my life knowing that how you feed your baby is just one tiny part of parenting.
(A lesson it sadly took a year of PND after failing to BF DS1 for me to learn )

I think some people make a big deal of it because it is the only thing they managed to do right and are trying to give themselves value as a parent.

We all know it is the natural way of things but for some it is not happening and the tit nazis who drone on and on and on about it should piss off.

If everyone on the planet stuck to as nature intended Elton John would not have a child with his boyfriend would he, have you ask how they are breast feeding????

Also it is incredibly hurtful to parents who adopt are you saying they are stupid as they do not breast feed and so they will be raising stupid children?

Yes breast is best but is is not the be all and end all and I think the people who go on and on about it are the really stupid ones, nasty spiteful stupid ones at that

There is clearly a pattern her.

The ones that formula fed/feed, convincing themselves that their children are the most intelligent by posting some (made up) IQ.

Then the breastfeeders who are secure in their decisions and the wellbeing/intelligence of their child.

Really really sad that people support the idea that breastfeeding is inconsequential, goodness me, I really hope this is not what the medical professionals have told you. Really shocking that bit.

Personally I hope my kids (regardless of how they were fed) grow to be kind, caring, polite and non-judgemental adults.

Pommedeterre - you are spot on to say that breastfeeding a crying baby is not the only way to comfort them - and we formula feeding mothers do love our children enough to want to comfort them.

And just as there is more than one way to comfort a crying baby, there is also more than one thing a parent can do to help their child be as intelligent as possible - like feeding them a good diet once weaned, reading to them, encouraging them to do all sorts of activities that will develop their bodies and minds, supporting them with school work, and talking to them - to name but a few.

I've done all these with my boys, and so has dh - and we credit ourselves with having three bright, inquisitive, intelligent boys.

You will be in BIG trouble re the natzi comment
Also re the op, how the hell can it be that if you dont make enough milk or its not good enough or you get mastitis or you become too ill to bf; that it means you are less intelligent-were you intelligent when it was going well and then your iq dropped dramatically when you became unable to do so

alfie If you're so secure in your identity - why have you assumed the moniker of "alfie's mother". Don't you have your own identity?

Luckily, being FF and intelligent I've been able to analyse how I feel about these things myself rather than relying on data from the 1970s. HTH. :)

"The ones that formula fed/feed, convincing themselves that their children are the most intelligent by posting some (made up) IQ."

Tosh- the ff feeders are giving examples of why they disagree with the opinion that bf makes more intelligent babies as was suggested by the op.

"Then the breastfeeders who are secure in their decisions and the wellbeing/intelligence of their child."

The breastfeeders are so secure in their choices that they have to justify it at every oppotunity and try to belittle and offend others who make different choices.

I cannot imgine any other scenario where it would be acceptable to do so so openly.How ignorant of people.

I don't necessarily think breast fed children are more intelligent. I do think breast milk is better for children.

That remark is not supposed to "put down" formula feeding mothers...it's just a comment on the milk type.

for the last time, i am not and would never berate someone for ffing their baby. they are OBVIOUSLY doing the best job in the world for their baby, and have made decisions based on life experiences and information and a whole myriad of things going on which influences said decision - that has never been in question.

however, some of the language i used was insensitive and i apologised (despite the fact that this really should be a fairly robust debate that can take it), but when someone repeat posts about the 'fact' that breastfeeding is inconsequential really needs exposure to the reality formula causes for not an insignificant number of lives around the globe, in developed and underdeveloped countries, hence said picture.

fgs i didn't post the picture on a breastfeeding support thread where a mother was asking for help making a decision whether or not to breastfeed.

carry on overreacting why don't you, and btw i had a cesarean but am completely able to discuss the merits of natural birth and the tragedy that is the massive cesarean rates in some developed countries. its called coming to terms with your decision and being able to discuss it objectively in aibu.

Oh I seeeee. So overnight I dropped 40 IQ points and so didn't want to bf anymore. it wasn't that I couldn't see how I could do everything I had to do and sit on the sofa for 4 hours at a time being sucked on.
Opps. Better tell my clients I'm now substandard :)

Hmmm, does the same stigma apply to those who express and manage to hold down a job?

i would not be dumb enough to post my childs name here so I can assure you I don't have a son called alfie. Think I was bottle fed tea anyway.

Well I was a committed breastfeeder and am probably the Mumsnetter who feels least secure in her choice. Dd was failure to thrive and lost weight really badly due to difficulties in feeding which (I was told 10 years later) were to be explained by a genetic condition we didn't know she had. As it was I refused to accept that dd wasn't thriving and that was irresponsible of me.

I still believed in breastfeeding enough to breastfeed my second child. But not to the extent where I would have gone on bf'ing him if he had obviously not been coping. Like I did with my first.

What I did learn between birth 1 and birth 2 is that life is unpredictable. And that judging does little good.

Ruby - just because it's better to BF in the sub-continent rather than use contaminated water or use a watered-down version does not mean it's "better" globally. Does this make sense to you?

Yes, it's "inconsequential".

Do you argue with your husband? Perhaps you fart or pick your nose. Maybe you're rude to waitresses or you drop your "h's".

LoTM - Yes. Because you work you selfish harridon. Why oh why won't you simply accept that if you're not a martyr to your child then you should just not have children? What will the other mums at coffee morning say?