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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think breast fed babies are more intellegent

1002 replies

thecatamongthepidgeons · 13/03/2011 19:52

Because their parents tend to be more intellegent not because they were breast fed?
More intellegent parents are more likely to choose to breast feed regardless of any dificulties they face if they think it will benefit their children.

OP posts:
RubyBuckleberry · 14/03/2011 21:15

aaaaahhhhhhh

this is why these threads frustrate me so

stories of very problematic situations in which formula is a life saving god send, obviously. and we are very lucky that we have made such a thing.

but to argue that breastfeeding is inconsequential is what i am riling against, zealously or nazi like if you would like to put it like that. as mothers and babies everywhere are given shite advice and shite information from health visitors and MILs and people who are supposed to support them. and this pisses me off as it is not fair, it is not right, and it should be stopped. but the only way we will stop this is by admitting that formula is not the normal way to feed a baby, breastfeeding is, and breastfeeding is not inconsequential, it is the normal way to feed a baby so as far as possible, it should be encouraged. unless not possible, obviously.

anyway, i think this has been done before... sorry for joining in - i got seduced by MilaMae's raving pro-formula posts.

LisamumtoJake · 14/03/2011 21:18

well said beccaroooo

DS was born at 37wks after emergency section, 4lb 10 he was, i was seriously ill, for days and my DS went to special care and was fed through his nose on formula!

However my Best friend,had baby at 38wks and chose to formula, i hav never thought to be mean or to think how unnecessary it was, just that it was her personal choice?!

RubyBuckleberry · 14/03/2011 21:18

Mila it would be a good thing to encourage people to read to their children, to normalise it, and a poster on a thread about it would not be unreasonable to be angry on behalf of the illiterate children everywhere because they were not read to

Hmm Hmm Hmm

mumeeee · 14/03/2011 21:18

YABU. I breastfed all 3 of my girls, But I wouldnt say I was that intelligent and I wouldn't say that the girls were intelligent because they were breast fe,

physteach · 14/03/2011 21:24

I'm not usually one to wade in but I can't help it this time. I was desperate, to the point of making myself ill, to BF my darling child but I simply couldn't for various reasons that I won't go into because while the majority of MNetters would sympathise it is horribly apparent that there are a small minority of users that would turn these into weapons to attack me with. Why does this debate happen again and again and again? It takes big huge guts to admit that your baby in not thriving on your breastmilk, it is deeply upsetting but the intelligent thing (if that is what all this is about) is to admit that and do something about it.

Did I want my little one to be formula fed? No.
Did I want her to have the health problems that made it so?
Am I going to let myself feel like shit over it? No.

Well done all of you who are loud and proud and BFing away there, have some consideration for those who tried and couldn't. You think that lots of ladies on this site haven't already felt bad enough it didn't work out? Leave them alone, and posting horrific pictures is an awful thing to do, you don't think there are some poor souls here raw from giving birth trying to come to terms with feeding decisions?

Women should SUPPORT eachother and certainly should not be using MN as a place to bully.

RubyBuckleberry · 14/03/2011 21:24

thepoweroflunch thats a good point Hmm

RubyBuckleberry · 14/03/2011 21:28

physteach good grief, i did not post that picture to bully anyone. this is not a breastfeeding support thread, anyone who has got this far knows that?! don't you think it is a picture people should see?

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 21:34

ruby

You called ff "substandard" ffs!!

Well, it obviously isnt, is it?

It is not the way you chose to feed your child....

Fine.

Doesnt make it "wrong"

I was lucky enough to have had both my dc naturally with no pain relief....does that make me a "better" mother than you or anyone else????

*Hell, no!"

You and other bfers are not "better" than mothers who ff.

So get down off your high horse, you are embarrassing yourself, woman!

ongakgak · 14/03/2011 21:35

physteach I like your post. Ruby shame on you, spy shared something very personal, i think you ought to respect that. meanie.

thepoweroflunch · 14/03/2011 21:35

Ruby, it's a picture of a child who has been neglected due to her sex and malnourished due to poor feeding methods.

It tells us that boys are valued more than girls in Islamabad and that badly prepared/weak formula can be harmful.

If I produced a picture of a malnourished and neglected child fed on a strict organic diet and compared it with a child of a healthy weight fed solely on McDonald's would that tell me something useful about the impact of organic diets on the general population?

Or would it just be desperate scaremongering?

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 21:36

TSC "boobygang"!!!!!

PMSL

Grin

(also a bed sharing mother of 2....yawn....)

Figgyrolls · 14/03/2011 21:36

I am highly intellgent and yet not breastfed Grin

physteach · 14/03/2011 21:39

cheers ongakgak!

ruby- yes it is an issue that needs to be talked about but not here where you potentially have lots of women who are feeling very emotional about their feeding.

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 21:39

As am I figgy Smile

onlion · 14/03/2011 21:41

Whether or not I was bf and whether or not I am intelligent is irrelevant at my late stage of life and

what was I saying again?

RubyBuckleberry · 14/03/2011 21:43

Why do you equate that view, that artificial milk is below par, not as good, as a personal attack on your mothering on one hand, but then deny that breastfeeding has anything to do with mothering on the other? I genuinely don't understand. Confused. You argue zealously that is 'inconsequential' then round on anyone who dares to suggest that it matters.

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 21:44

......not sure onlion, sorry......am looking for my mobile...I know I put it down somewhere........

physteach · 14/03/2011 21:44

Oh and me too (FF that is) and for what it is worth a happy FF fed baby (and mummy) is better than a poorly BF bay (with a poorly stressed crying mummy).

As I said, my feeding did not work out as planned, feel slightly foolish about all my 'I'm going to exclusively BF for 6 months'....... ah well at least my gorgeous wee girls is happy

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 21:45

Ruby

FF is better than "below par" BM, surely?????

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 21:46

phys We all say a lot of things about parenting before the little darlings arrive!!!! Glad you and your dd are happy and thriving x

RubyBuckleberry · 14/03/2011 21:46

i agree {and apologised] for saying 'substandard' (although i'm not saying its no standard, just below what the norm should be maybe) and i never said it was everything. but it is not inconsequential - that is insulting to many mothers and babies that it had consequences for.

physteach · 14/03/2011 21:47

oops I meant baby of course not bay
must be the formula......

physteach · 14/03/2011 21:48

cheers becarooo!

boosmummie · 14/03/2011 21:49

or did you mean baybay? Grin

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 21:50

No. BF isnt inconsequential.

And neither is FF - which is what you implied -"which is insulting to many mothers and babies that it had consequences for"

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