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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Bright children get bored in Reception"

125 replies

EvilTwins · 12/03/2011 18:11

I have two daughters in Yr R. They are bright, inquisitive and imaginative children, and they absolutely love school. It's something different every day, and their teacher is absolutely fantastic. I sometimes wish I could be in their class, they do that many exciting things...

We spent some time recently with a friend whose daughter is in the same year - we've known each other since the girls were born - but no longer live near each other. My friend insists that her DD is "bored" at school, and that it's because she's bright, and that Reception year is boring for bright children.

AIBU to think that a) this is simply not true, and b) to resent my friend's implication, therefore, that since my children do enjoy being in Reception, they're obviously not bright?

OP posts:
ineedagoodsolicitor · 14/03/2011 13:10

Ds is "very bright" and wasn't bored in reception, nor in year 1, nor in year 2.

Year 3 however is proving to be slightly boring for him. Homework is all completed in about 5 mins per subject unless it is a project of some sort.

I'm currently thinking up strategies to keep him stimulated, the obvious first one being how to approach the teacher to get him some extension work without seeming too critical. He is coasting, having an easy life while from chatting to other parents I realise that most of his classmates are being challenged appropriately by the homework set which I take to be indicative of the level of classwork being covered. Maths and science are particular areas of concern. So far the only additional challenge he gets in maths is to be given a shorter time to tackle the questions they are set to practice what they have learned, then he is allowed to read a book whilst the others catch up.

LaWeasel · 14/03/2011 13:11

Someone extremely clever once said that there is absolutely zero benefit is 'pushing' your child to do things that they are already good at.

They will still be good at those whether you push or not, but if you push them to do things they are bad at like sitting still for 10mins, or raising their hand if they are shy, or playing and talking to children they might not otherwise they will learn much more - and the overall benefit to is much greater than what they would achieve by being a little more ahead at maths.

BuzzLiteBeer · 14/03/2011 13:11

my mother always told us that only boring people get bored. Theres a whole world inside your head, she said, you can't bore yourself!

sakura · 14/03/2011 13:13

"My kids are doing well at school, and do not tell them they are bright or believe it to be true. I tell them that anybody who is any good at anything has worked really, really hard to be that good, and you only get out of life what you put in. "

I completely and utterly agree with this MillyR

BoffinMum, I'm loving your posts on this thread!

exoticfruits · 14/03/2011 13:14

I think that the attitude comes mainly from those who have decided even before they go that they are too bright for the average school reception class.

HubertVonRumple · 14/03/2011 13:14

Neither of my (bright) children were bored in Reception.
Your friend is an eejit, are you sure her children aren't too?

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 14/03/2011 13:16

Bubbleymummy, is that was a little passive aggressive dig suggesting I am jealous, there was no need as I have a bright child of my own :)

It's fair enough in wanting to talk to other parents about your child but lets face it, every parent thinks their child is bright, you only have to read through posts on forums to see that lots of people will describe their offspring in this way. Quite often the type of parents I have described will go on and on, like I said, in a very passive aggressive way, insinuating that their child is brighter than the other person's child.

If you've chosen a bad school for your child then move them to a better one that better suits their needs, but don't boast by stealth about them "being bored" or "not stimulated" at school. Do something about it!

Chaotica · 14/03/2011 13:17

Some of you people have obviously not seen reception classes like DD's with one small table of toys and one (to the children) incomprehensible activity between 25 children. (And then when they get up and play tag, they are shouted at...)

Children can be bored, teaching can be disastrous... (OTOH this shouldn't happen in a properly organized setting.)

bumblingbovine · 14/03/2011 13:19
2plus2more · 14/03/2011 13:20

It's the school which has said he is exceptionally bright whiteelephant - not me. I do agree that he is brighter than average, but I'm not sure I'd use that phrase. I actually think it's more to do with his personality than anything else because he actually LOVES to learn. Case in point - on World Book Day when they had to take in their favourite book, most kids were taking in Ben 10 or Toy Story books he took in an encyclopedia on British History which he could quote about half of for you! That's not being bright, that's just having a love of learning. He is a sociable child with lots of friends who can certainly "act the lig" with all his mates and behave like any other 6 year old. He is also very independant and confident (walked in on the first day without a backward glance and had done so every day since) My point is that some children genuinely do get bored in school because it just doesn't meet their needs. Like you have said - some teachers/schools are fantastic, others aren't. Like someone else said, sometimes it's simply because they can't meet the needs of the child because they don't have the resources or they have a big class or whatever, but sometimes it is true that the teacher is just lazy. My son is in a class of 17 with no major behaviour/social problems. I have spoken to the school about it, but got nowhere. If I could move him to another school I would, but we are very limited by choice where we live and I can't guarantee anywhere else will be any better. We are trying to move house and hope that will open up more school options for us.

Chaotica · 14/03/2011 13:25

BoffinMum - love the posts on this thread. And reminds me that every morning I leave DD sitting cross-legged (for hours probably) as the teacher fails to maintain control over the rest of the class.

I will give DD some gravy to stir or send her to the shops to buy dinner. (My sister and I used to laugh over the 'get an adult to do ...' lines in the books we were given - granted I have some interesting knife scars.)

exoticfruits · 14/03/2011 13:29

I predict that any 4yr old who is trusted to stir the gravy, will live up to expectations and do well!!

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 14/03/2011 13:31

If things are that bad 2plus2more, I would be looking into other options; could the school move him to another class, could he go up a year? Extra tutoring out of school hours to keep him interested? Private school? Home schooling?

Your son sounds very similar to my DD and we are very lucky that we are in catchment for her school which is excellent; it got outstanding at the last Ofsted inspection and the teachers we've come across so far have been fantastic. She is now in year 1, in which they mix the classes up with Year 2's so she is able to do the year 2 work, and it's working well.

2plus2more · 14/03/2011 13:45

We're looking at every option Whiteelephant. I wish we could afford private school, but the fees are just beyond us - if not for no.1 son, then definitely for the 3 other children still to start school. We also live 45 min drive away (at least an hour in rush hour) from the private schools which would just be impossible to maintain. I think if he could move up a year it would do him the world of good. He is currently in P1 (we're in Scotland), but he is the oldest in his class as he is 6 this week and the cut-off date in Scotland is 28th Feb! How I wish now he'd been born 3 weeks earlier! Even a composite class would be great for him and that is part of our consideration for moving house - a small country school with composite classes might just be the answer for him. We do a lot of work at home with him, all led by him and what he wants to do, but my main concern is that he is unhappy for such a big part of the day. (don't know what it's like in England but the school day here for all primary age kids is 9am-3.30pm then homework to do when he gets home too) I wouldn't do home schooling because of the social consequences (esp as we live in a small rural area so he doesn't have loads of friends living close by) and because I just don't think I would be very good at it - I don't think I'd be good at balancing the needs of all 4 of my kids. It's hard because I see a child with a real love of learning who just doesn't love school and I think that's so sad.

squidgy12 · 14/03/2011 14:12

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squidgy12 · 14/03/2011 14:28

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Original poster
EvilTwins · 14/03/2011 17:59

clam - "Would also like to know how on earth OP's friend knows how much teacher attention her pfb is getting, and can assert that now she's receiving more than before. Has she been in with a stop-watch?"
She went in to watch for an hour near the beginning of the school year, which is one of the reasons she went in to complain. She's basing her "more attention now" thing on what the HT has told her, and what her DD has told her.

For those asking why I bother to get into these sort of discussions with her, it's kind of hard to avoid. Deflect as I might, conversations come back round to it... Sometimes subtle ("are the Evil Twins enjoying school??") and sometimes more overt ("how far are the Evil Twins away from being able to swim without any floats?" - it extends to everything, not just academic) to blatent ("Evil Twin 1 - would you like to have a go at reading DD's reading book? Is it the same sort of book you get from your school?" Luckily Evil Twin 1 looked at her oddly and went back to being in a rock band with her sister)

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2011 18:02

my DD has a severe learning disability, and gets bored in scottish equivalent of reception Wink

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2011 18:03

and no I am not jealous of any of your "bright" children, she is just fab as she is, these accusations of jealousy about each others children's intelligeance are a bit Hmm

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/03/2011 18:03

intelligence without the extra a even

bebemooneedsabreak · 14/03/2011 18:04

It obviously depends about 'how' they're bright and whether they've already dealt with/covered topics already being discussed. And it could be that one teach does/can not help or encourage bright children while another can and does.

It was very tactless for her to say such a thing tho.

squidgy12 · 14/03/2011 23:41

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Original poster
EvilTwins · 15/03/2011 09:20

Squidy - I do think that "are the Evil Twins enjoying school?" was genuine. It's just that it led to the point where it was suggested that since they are enjoying school, they can't be as bright as my friend's DD, who is not enjoying reception, as she finds playing all the time boring, and needs some proper "work".

OP posts:
squidgy12 · 15/03/2011 14:28

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quirrelquarrel · 15/03/2011 14:36

Reception shouldn't be boring for bright kids (unless they're super genii and want to get on with geometry and linguistics), there's so much to do and find out, no end of toys to play with, let your imagination run riot...it's the later years, Y2-4 that can really be the problem. In my case, I had a language tutor in reception who also was teaching me social skills, so I had activites one on one for half the day. Brilliant.

I would say she was rather trying to boast about her daughter than suggest anything about yours. People who say things like that are often more self centred than we give them credit for...

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