"Bright children get bored in Reception"

[EvilTwins]

I have two daughters in Yr R. They are bright, inquisitive and imaginative children, and they absolutely love school. It's something different every day, and their teacher is absolutely fantastic. I sometimes wish I could be in their class, they do that many exciting things...

We spent some time recently with a friend whose daughter is in the same year - we've known each other since the girls were born - but no longer live near each other. My friend insists that her DD is "bored" at school, and that it's because she's bright, and that Reception year is boring for bright children.

AIBU to think that a) this is simply not true, and b) to resent my friend's implication, therefore, that since my children do enjoy being in Reception, they're obviously not bright?

I don't think anyone should have to learn to live with boredom tbh. If you are bored, change something, do something different. As adults we have the ability to make those types of decisions ourselves and take action. Children are not able to make those changes themselves so if they are bored it is up to us to make the change before they switch off. Every minute of boring, repetitive work is a missed opportunity to learn or experience something new and exciting.

I think boredom is great for anyone-it stimulates the imagination.

W9W5, thanks for your post. I don't disagree with what you've said. I'm sorry if my post was poorly worded and led you to believe that I was suggesting your background was privileged. I didn't mean to imply that.

I actually meant that postgraduate education is a privilege, regardless of how you end up there or what kind of background you come from. I was thinking more along the lines that just because you are not as well paid as some of your friends that you mentioned hadn't got as good educational qualifications, it doesn't make your experience in HE not worthwhile. It is worthwhile in itself and often people who have done postgraduate qualifications will choose lower paid jobs because they want to do work that they find rewarding.

I think the issue for me is that I see no point in stereotyping children as bright or bookish or whatever, because children change hugely over the course of their schooling. I believe that people achieving things in life, be it in drama, art, music, science, comedy, athletics or languages is down to engaging with life experiences and really being dedicated to that interest or set of interests.

Sorry if you feel I was making assumptions about you. I really didn't mean it.

"I think boredom is great for anyone-it stimulates the imagination."

Rubbish.

No, its not rubbish. It's true -out of boredom comes inventiveness, through necessity. However, it is inappropriate in a school setting.

In answer to the OP though, your friends DD is not bored because she is bright, she is bored because the teaching is not good enough.

FFS. I hate these contests as to whose kids are bright. why are you even entering into a discussion about this with her OP?

My ds was bored in reception but I think the problem for him was that it lacked structure. There was a huge amount of child-led play which is as it should be, it just wasn't something he wanted to do. He is quite a task oriented child and if you give him a task he will work out how to complete it and really enjoy it. I think this may be a problem for a lot of "bored" children in reception - they just like more structure.

Love miniboffin's observation about adults being rubbish at Lego.

Would also like to know how on earth OP's friend knows how much teacher attention her pfb is getting, and can assert that now she's receiving more than before. Has she been in with a stop-watch?

Only people with zero imagination get bored.

If an academic child is bored by speaking to less academic peers I would not see that as a sign that they are too bright, but that there is a certain type of skill which they need to work on imagination, social skills etc), and I would encourage that. The same with a child who can only cope with task orientated structures: it is always useful to work at new skills. I would be gentle with a child who is out of his depth in this way, but I would not assume that the school is wrong for wanting him to work in a way that does not come naturally to him. Any more than I am now prepared to accept that the school is wrong for making my slightly older, not very academic ds work in a way that does not come naturally to him.

cory - don't you think that some children who have very developed skills (language, imaginative, social, sports) are just bored to tears by children who are the same age whose skills are much less developed than their own? I don't see that as a sign that the bright children have to work on their social skills...

sunnydelight - you might be right but not all small children are gifted with imagination. You cannot assume that all children, given a room full of toys will be able to find ways to occupy themselves. In addition, whilst some children can find things to do, the things they think of will disturb other children so they need help and structure to find classroom-appropriate games.

Bonsoir Mon 14-Mar-11 09:18:55
"cory - don't you think that some children who have very developed skills (language, imaginative, social, sports) are just bored to tears by children who are the same age whose skills are much less developed than their own? I don't see that as a sign that the bright children have to work on their social skills..."

I was one of those children and I definitely think I should have been encouraged to work on my social skills. Being able to interrelate with people of different backgrounds and verbal skills has been very important to me later in life- I should have started practising earlier!

I have been interested to see that my own dd, who was rather more verbally advanced than I was at her age, never seemed bored to tears with other children, regardless of their development. She had a far better attitude than her mum.

After all, older children can play quite happily with younger siblings, so why not with peers with slightly less advanced verbal skills?

Of course DCs need boredom-I don't expect the Brontes would have written their books if they hadn't been stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do! Maybe not at school, but the best thing that you can do for your DC at home is benign neglect and time to be bored.

I don't think that is the same thing at all, cory. A very bright 2 year old playing with a very bright 6 year old is not the same thing at all as a slow 6 year old playing with a very bright six year old.

My DD, who is extremely sociable and has lots of friends, is constantly asked to play by a little girl in our building who is the same age. Said little girl is not a bright button and DD is beyond bored by her. I'm not going to force her to play with her.

God forbid anyone has to play with the thick children

it has been suggested that some things might be more important than academic achievement, eg the ability to appreciate people for reasons other than their intelligence, and the ability to tolerate an environment that does not cater exclusively for yourself....

In general, I find that the only parents who claim their children are "bored" at school, are those that are pushy, competitive and passive aggressive. It's a way of saying to other parents "My child is brigher than your child".

My 6 year old DD is very bright and didn't get bored at all in reception. She had a great teacher, who pushed her, and really worked with her strengths. Most schools will do this with bright children.

And what if your child had had a lazy teacher who couldn't be bothered to push her, give her extension work or work to her strengths...? Some schools/teachers are fantastic - others aren't. My 6 year old son is also very bright ("exceptionally bright" is the phrase used by the school), but unfortunately his teacher is completely inconsistent in meeting his needs - one week he'll get good extension work, interesting homework, a chance to work with children from another class who are on a similar level to him, and then for the next month he'll sit in class with everyone else doing jolly phonic letter sounds and 2+2 type sums. Funnily enough he is often completely unengaged in class and is bored. He often doesn't want to go to school and would rather stay at home and work as he knows he'll actually get set interesting work at home. Of course we can't ever mention our concerns or worries about our unhappy child to friends in RL, or even here on MN because then we get flamed for being "pushy, competitive and passive aggressive".

I disagree a whiteelephant. Your daughter's school stimulated her- other schools may not - either because they wouldn't think to or because they don't have the resources to do so.

Why are parents unable to talk about their child being bright without people jumping on them for being pushy and competitive? I think the people who make those accusations are just jealous

my mum always said being bored showed a distinct lack of imagination, intelligence, and self-reliance.

to be honest, most of what engages my DD at school is the social stuff - work is just a side line! I would say that other children might not be as emotionally sophisticated as her (or as prone to developing complex games), but she is very alive to the need to give and take, and to bring others with her in her games. She will play happily with both older (even teens) and younger children (is very good at telling younger ones what to do engaging with younger kids). The fact that she gets on socially with such a wide range of ages is a demonstration of her (emotional) intelligence.

On work, she is working ahead of her level, but is super motivated to do stuff on her own, so doesn't get bored (will write her own page of sums to solve, for example, or make her own little book and write a story). I reckon if she keeps it up, she'll do enormously better than her (perhaps brighter) but much less motivated and less socially skilled big brother.

There ia absolutely no need for a reception age child to be"pushed". Ghastly word.

Okay Okay then you win, 2plus2more, your child is "exceptionally" bright, whilst mine is only "very" bright

In your case, I would be looking at moving my child to a different, better school. Have you mentioned your concerns to the school?

But I do think that parents read too much into things at reception level, and read too much into having a "bright" child. There are plenty of years ahead for advanced learning, like someone else said reception is also about socialising, and other skills such as taking themselves to the loo and learning table manners at lunchtimes. I have known parents that claim to have an exceptionally bright child and whilst that might be true academically, said child is still wetting and pooing themselves, biting children, unable to dress themselves etc etc. Sometimes you need to look at the whole picture rather than obsessing about what sums they are doing in class. Teachers are generally very well-qualified, passionate about their job, individuals, who will all strive to do the best for the children in their care.