"Bright children get bored in Reception"

[EvilTwins]

I have two daughters in Yr R. They are bright, inquisitive and imaginative children, and they absolutely love school. It's something different every day, and their teacher is absolutely fantastic. I sometimes wish I could be in their class, they do that many exciting things...

We spent some time recently with a friend whose daughter is in the same year - we've known each other since the girls were born - but no longer live near each other. My friend insists that her DD is "bored" at school, and that it's because she's bright, and that Reception year is boring for bright children.

AIBU to think that a) this is simply not true, and b) to resent my friend's implication, therefore, that since my children do enjoy being in Reception, they're obviously not bright?

BLB. I agree. Children who are supposedly 'bright' at 5 might turn out to be average at 13, and others who are average at 5 might turn out to be exceptional at 16. The way people go on about kids on MN, we may as well had out prospective job offers for the future when kids are 3.

99% of the time "Bored" is parent speak for "a pain in the neck"

To misquote the lovely Jeremy Hardy "Oh, Jocasta only set fire to Thomasina because she's bored. She's very bright you know, but she's not stretched enough."

Just not true.

I didn't play all day in an unstructured way in recpetion, my kids didn't and neither to the reception classes I see today.

It wouldn't bother you if you weren't buying into it, but I was commenting more on the responses to your OP.

I never thought of abusing the other inmates by setting fire to them, etc. I couldn't tell the time so the days felt very long and I just waited for my mum to come back whilst pretending to play, as that was what seemed to be required.

And what is this obsession with being sociable? Some people are not very sociable and there is nothing wrong with that.

It always seems to be set up to be at odds with children doing quiet things like reading a book, as if pushy parents are destroying their child's chance to talk to some other kid about plasticine by encouraging them to read.

Some kids prefer worksheets and reading books; some kids would rather chat and play with plasticine. Some like both equally.

It really does not matter.

There was a great dog who used to crap in the play area from time to time. That livened things up a bit.

MillyR, that is very wise. I don't hang around with 30 people doing plasticine out of choice now, and I didn't then. I am the same person. Maybe there should be a bit more truly child centred professional practice rather than everything being based on what we things children ought to like doing.

Boffinmum, I think your parents were rather neglectful. Before you arrive at school, they should have told you to go and play in a water tray, and then spent hours interfering in the play going on an on about capacity. Then when you arrived at school and were told just to go and play with the water tray, you would know that secretly what the teacher meant was 'demonstrate capacity.' Then she could have ticked her little box and put you down as being bright, unlike the bunch of thickos who thought that when an adult says play they really mean it.

Just to add a different point of view:

My son was supremely bored in reception, due to being super bright, and in a different head space his peers were at the time. He was bumped up to year one (school's idea, not mine), which to be honest wasn't right for him either.

We had a miserable couple of years, after which we came to the conclusion he was in the wrong setting, and once moved to somewhere else (somewhere prepared to deal with his "brightness"), things calmed down, and everybody's much happier.

I found it almost impossible to talk to friends and parents about the very real issues related to this situation, mainly because I anticipated responses such as the ones above.

Maybe, just maybe, your friend has some valid concerns. Of course she may be completely off her tree, but it's impossible to tell really without meeting her or her daughter isn't it.

yes my dd was incredibly bored as a foetus. Simply wasn't given the room to 'grow'. I blame her mother, though I was unable to talk to her about it as she may have been offended.

Are you sure you're not just feeling defensive a little? Maybe the reception classes aren't all that. Some children do find the group table work and the petty rules over things like asking to use the loo (which may make no sense from a child's POV) crossing their legs on the mat, in some cases only being allowed to stay at one table group in a session, instead of being able to walk anywhere and play with whatever you want when you want, and the giving out of stars for silly things like lining up properly - a bit patronizing and tedious especially if they are bright and are talked to on the same level as an adult at home.

My son hated all those things and was bored out of his mind. Truly he did learn better and have more fun at home. Having said that I wouldn't say he was gifted, and the school wasn't all that. But different strokes for different folks.

I've always thought some kids don't like "inbetweens." Reception doesn't teach much that children with decent parents haven't already taught them, but also isn't necessarily more fun than the nursery/what they did with mum at home. So can end up doing neither adequately. In those cases children may prefer more academic settings like those in year 1 onwards because everything is more clearly defined. This would make sense especially if they were gifted.

Maybe, mellow. But I don't see why anyone would go on about these sorts of concerns to friends as it will inevitably come across as rather insulting. Talking to school and family, fine.

MrsMellow - having known this girl since she was born, I am fairly confident that she's not super-bright. She's a first-born, and spent most of her life pre-school in the company of adoring adults who confirmed that yes, she really was the cleverest little girl in the world.

When my friend went in to complain, the HT tried to explain (friend told me this, but also told me that she doesn't get what the HT was concerned about) that her DD needs to learn to extend and develop ideas - show her a picture of, say, a red car, and she will say "it's a red car". Ask her to tell a story about the car, and she'll say "it's a red car. It goes fast" and then will get tetchy if asked any more.

Milly - I do think that it's important for children to learn to socialise. Nothing wrong with sitting quietly with a book (my one DTD likes doing that, and is much happier on her own that her sister is) but it's important that children learn about interaction. We all need to do it as adults.

I would have thought a child was more likely to get bored in Reception if they were (a) not very sociable (b) unimaginative (c) socially much more grown-up than their peers. My DS2 is very bright but very young and loves Reception.

I was put up to "Year One" as a very bright child when I was four or five, but it was rubbish for me as I was not socially advanced enough to enjoy it.

How does the mother know? Has she ever seen her DC in class? Mine would have sounded bored when they came out as in answer to 'what did you do today?' I got 'nothing' and 'did you do anything interesting' I got 'not really'. However I used to go in and help and knew that this wasn't the case!
Probably friend of OP
is a, miffed that her DD hasn't been recognised as exceptional and b, isn't on the ORT book she would like!!

ET, I think there is a big difference between learning to socialise and being sociable. A major part of learning to socialise is understanding that some people are not very sociable and need some space on their own to regain mental energy, while others need the attention of others to regain some mental energy.

Milly - yes, I see what you mean, and I agree with you.

exotic - my friend spent an hour watching the class nearer the beginning of term. She was upset that her DD seemed less confident in the classroom than she does at home. To be fair, her DD is a June birthday, and whilst tall for her age, she's much younger than some of the others. Friend puts DD's lack of confidence down to not enough teacher attention though. That's one of the things she complained about. Apparently the teacher pays her DD more attention now (cynical old me though "I bet she does...")

My dd2 says she doesn't like school and it's 'boring'. When I asked her why, she said there's not enough time to play and too much sitting on the mat doing 'hard work'. So 'boring' doesn't mean the same to everyone!

Children in Year R are in the EYFS and should (if it is taught properly) be leading their own learning through play and exploration. There is no way she should be bored unless she has an incompetent teacher or like my DD1 has a social communication disorder.

My DD1 is extremely academically able but it's only become apparent in school since she was diagnosed with AS and has been allowed to work on her own in a quiet environment. She hated Year R and just wanted to read a book in a corner. That was because she was incapable of learning through social interaction with her peers and teachers. She was bored because she didn't know what to do. Her reading and maths were two years ahead but socially she was well behind.

Reception is boring for children with social communication issues.

I attended a conference in Oxford where Tony Attwood (world expert in AS) was speaking. He commented that he'd seen more people in Oxford with AS than he'd ever seen in one place before. Think on....

Both my DDs were initially 'bored' in reception - once the teachers had got to know them (about 6 weeks in) they got the support they needed to enjoy the teaching. They took full part in the play-based activities and loved those, and when it came to reading./phonics/maths stuff they worked in small groups of children who had nagged their parents into teaching them to read an interest in reading and writing and got on with work that suited them. A really good reception teacher will be user to handling a huge range of children, from those that can't have a conversation to precocious little s*ds early readers.

Al1son, do you think Oxford is like Silicon valley then?

Milly I was only there for 30 mins before and after the conference so can't really say myself but Mr Attwood did say that he'd played 'Spot the Aspie' on the way in that day.

I guess you have to be pretty obsessive about whatever you do to be working there so it would make sense.