My Mum is the biggest bitch out there, really she takes some beating
She is always making catty comments and snide remarks but she has gone too far this time
She has just told me my life is a mess. She said I have no job, no home, I have nothing. She suggested I move to 'where work is' (where ever the hell she thinks that might be) and says I've done nothing about looking for a job. She knows that I've been looking since August, she knows I have no childcare before or after school and she won't help so my hours are limited. She also knows I saw someone about doing a professional CV the other week so I asked her why she thought I did that if I wasn't looking for work and said 'you were probably bored' at this point I told her to piss off and hung up
I never give myself a break, I never let up on myself, I spend all my time caring for DC, for the dog, the house and I study pt. I spend hours every week trawling the web for jobs, then I call possibilities to find out exact hours and if there is anything (usually there isn't) I'll apply for it.
I'm about to come into some money and I think this is her problem. I lost the income I was getting from the csa last year and have struggled since and my Mum has been helping me out here and there, usually with food shopping and small bills like bt every few months. She knows I cannot get a mortgage and would need to spend every penny if I am going to buy a house outright but she seems to want me to give her her money back first and then wash her hands of me
Tonight was totally unprovoked, I had called her earlier in the week to ask if she would take me or lend me money for petrol so I could go see houses and this is when it came out that 'I can't buy a house' because I won't have enough left after giving her money. I said I needed to find somewhere for me and dc to live, if I rent my money will just be drained away into the pockets of someone else and I won't have anything to show for it and DC won't have any security, she also knows I'd have trouble renting with the dog. She also accused me of not looking at houses, which is ridiculous because I've discussed my searching with her loads of times, she knows I'm online looking everyday
Why is she such a bitch? I really hate that she genuinely seems to think my life is a mess, that I have nothing and am not trying to do anything with my life. I don't and never have spent my days sitting about doing nothing, being bored. This is something I expect from a total bitch, not from my Mum, or anyone's Mum
I had called her about something completely different tonight and she brought this up. It seems like she is determined to fall out and drive me away, I've never thought she liked me and I've always thought that she should never have had children. I could never ever say the things to my DD that she says to me, I could never even think anything like the stuff she says
She knows that that I am depending on her for a few things financially next week (one of the things is DD's school trip) but this is beyond her usual moaning, which is bad enough at times. What kind of Mum tells their DD her life is a mess? I don't know what to do, I get more understanding from my dog, I was stressed out enough without that conversation
I really need a friend right now but don't have anyone I can call. Argh! I do try, I know I struggle with stress and anxiety, something I don't think she has ever noticed but I was trying so hard to be positive and look to the future, I'd even compiled a new cv and just signed up for a Summer ou course, I'd even joined a weight loss group today but now I feel like crying but I'm not giving her the satisfaction! I would love, love, love to work, even people on fb know that! I am so bloody lonely on my own all the time I am desperate to get out and do something.
Can someone please tell me what the hell is wrong with my Mum? Does she believe the stuff she is saying? I'd really like never to speak to her again but I can't let DD down next week