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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset at models in shorts at my dhs work meeting when 30 weeks pg

88 replies

designergirl · 10/03/2011 13:23

I am 30 weeks pregnant.Dh recently went to a meeting at his work. There were two "models" being photographed outside the building with the managers. The meeting was for about 3o engineers, all male. They were the only two women there in their work vests, T shirt and very short shorts.
They had a presentation in the meeting inside and then a quiz on the content of the presentation. Anyone who got an answer right received a prize from the women, and got to have their photo taken with them after the meeting.
As I'm 30 wks pregnant and very hormonal this upset me a lot. My dh gave me lots of reassurance and said he didn't like them, didn't take part, didn't look at them etc. but I feel realy angry at his company for such sexism. Most of the engineers are married, and I know one of them has a sick wife so I don't think she'll be that impressed either.
Am I overreacting about being upset about it?It happened a few weeks ago and I've calmed down a bit now but at the time I was devastated!

OP posts:
Original poster
designergirl · 10/03/2011 13:24

and high heels

OP posts:
staranise · 10/03/2011 13:26

I wouldn't say it's worth being 'devastated' over but gosh, didn't realise that companies could still be so crass - are you in the UK?

Do they not have any female engineers? (Ask a silly question....)

LittleMissHissyFit · 10/03/2011 13:26

What a truly VILE company.

ashamedandconfused · 10/03/2011 13:27

gawd, that sounds very 1970's-game-show-dolly-bird

unbelievable thats its like that in a work place!

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 10/03/2011 13:28

DH works in the games industry. They still have models in their pants pouting and posing at games conventions. It's pathetic and sexist and urgh.

Tryharder · 10/03/2011 13:29

It's not your DH's fault that his company are so "crass" as Staranise put it. Very strange behaviour in this day and age I would've thought. But your Dh said the right things, bless him.

Original poster
designergirl · 10/03/2011 13:29

Yes, it's in the UK. It's Virgin Media. My husband doesn't work directly for them tho, he works for another company which is subcontracted to them. This is the first meeting he has attended of theirs since he started several years ago

OP posts:
Jaydles · 10/03/2011 13:30

I think you are being a touch unreasonable, I wouldn't have particularly liked it but to make a big fuss about it seems a little OTT. I do however think that you are allowed hormones as an excuse for random OTTness when you are pregnant. I don't think that just because a man is presented with a beautiful woman he will immediately turn into a jibbering drooling wreck. You just have to trust your husband to keep his pants on. (Said by a non-hormonal unstressed lady)

Original poster
designergirl · 10/03/2011 13:30

Doesn't it bother you ChickensHaveNoEyebrows?

OP posts:
snala · 10/03/2011 13:30

You are overreacting - and need to get a grip!

So what if he did find them attractive? (of course he looked at them!)

Do you never look at a man and think he is attractive? Doesn't mean you're going to hop into bed with him does it?

I really don't understand your problem.
YABU

MmeLindt · 10/03/2011 13:31

Bleaugh. How could anyone think that was acceptable.

I don't blame you being disgusted with the company, but I think that being devastated is a bit OTT, tbh.

Nothing to do with the engineers being married/single/having a pregnant or sick wife at home. Just deeply sexist.

Unless they are doing something similar for the female staff with a young fit bloke handing out prizes.

AgentZigzag · 10/03/2011 13:31

Your DH sounds lovely and reassuring, and you're not being unreasonable to feel a bit weird when you're pregnant.

So the two women were employed to dress in skimpy clothes and pose with the blokes as part of their prize?

Were they employed by the people who did the presentation?

It sounds like some kind of gimmick and something that should have stayed in the 70's.

Original poster
designergirl · 10/03/2011 13:32

No female engineers,Staranise

OP posts:
snala · 10/03/2011 13:32

( I do agree its an odd thing for the company to be doing though, but really nothing to get worked up over is it?)

Original poster
designergirl · 10/03/2011 13:33

Yes, I think so,Agentzigzag. They were managers from Virgin Media

OP posts:
mmsmum · 10/03/2011 13:33

YABU but I understand and I think you feel the way you do because you are pregnant and clearly feeling insecure

However, I don't think I like what the company did, very sexist

snala · 10/03/2011 13:34

Mme - thats what I was trying to say (badly Blush)

thefurryone · 10/03/2011 13:34

I wouldn't have to be pregnant to be annoyed about this to be honest but I wouldn't be annoyed about it because it meant that attractive women were in the vicinity of my DH, he works with attractive women all the time although they do tend to wear suits and not hot pants around the office.

I'd be annoyed because my DH worked for such a backward looking misogynistic company.

So you're not unreasonable to be annoyed by this but I do think that you're being annoyed for the wrong reason.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 10/03/2011 13:34

Well, it doesn't upset me in a 'DH is looking at laydees! With bosoms!' etc way, because I'm pretty damn hot myself. But it bothers me that a male dominated industry can still use women as decoration in such a vulgar way. I also find it hideously depressing that there are armies of tanned, bleached wannabe-Jordans clammering for the job. I mean, have you seen most software programmers?

AgentZigzag · 10/03/2011 13:34

You might not be able to understand why the OP feels as she does snala, but the fact is, she does.

She doesn't need to get a grip, she's pregnant and I'm all for getting away with being unreasonable when you're pregnant Smile

RachelHRD · 10/03/2011 13:34

You are pregnant and hormonal - it's totally understandable!! Your DH does sound lovely and I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. His company on the other hand as AgentZigZag says seem to be stuck in the sexist 70's!!

SlightlyJaded · 10/03/2011 13:35

Am quite Shock it was an allegedly forward thinking company like Virgin.

Twats

But 'devestated', no. Be devestated by the dated and crass attitude of the company but don't worry about your DH being in the comapny of attractive models. We are all exposed to beautiful nubile models through the media every day. I am sure he is quite immune.

My DH (and I) work in tv/film/staged events. He often has to tell half dressed models and actresses what he wants them to do. He has to go for dinner and drinks with them, and they hang on to his every word (clearly he doesn't drone on about footie quite as much as he does at home Hmm). I honestly don't give it a thought.

I do the same at work and it means nothing. It's work.

Please please don't be upset about this. It's really not worth it.

judgejudie · 10/03/2011 13:35

my company used to ask the younger women to dress up when they had stands at exhibition fairs

shrugs

thats what sells

so what, doesnt affect me

you are being precious OP

harassedinherpants · 10/03/2011 13:35

I work in engineering and it's a sexist industry!!!

So YANBU in being apalled at the company, but you really need to cut dh some slack. It's hardly his fault, and he sounds lovely in all honesty.

Please tell me these women aren't actual engineers, but models brought in specially?? Head, wall, head, wall...

Just this morning I had a man a phone with a query which I answered, he then spoke a male who works for me to "check". Bastard.

turdass · 10/03/2011 13:35

I hate that kind of sexist bollox and I hate the kind of women who think it's 'fine'. No it is not and if your husband was the kind of man who would ogle half-dressed half-wits who are happy to do this sort of thing for money, then I am sure you would already know it.