I have read the thread through from the beginning now (before i had read the op and a alot of the last posts) and i can see how Millie is being portraid as smug.
Millie I can see your comments as being defensive, which is understandable when you have people coming at you from all ways. We have all been there.
However, reading things like this;
"I'm sure at gymboree recently they were talking about a study where these types of classes are really really amazing for speech, development, bonding, communication, socialisation etc."
Makes me think that purhaps you are doing these classes for more reasons other then just to have fun.
All babies develope differently and won't develope any quicker whether you do 1 class or 20. I know this because i have two very different children and none of my parenting has been any different. They will do what they are going to do at their pace.
My dd didn't crawl until she was 11 months and no amount of encouragement was going to change this. My ds crawled at 7 months - because that is how he is. He was never going to sit still for long, he just wanted to be off!
My dd couldn't say a word at her 2 year check (but could understand everything you said to her) yet my ds started talking at 18 months and could talk full sentances by 20 months. It is great to encourage them of course, by they will do it when they do it.
My ds didn't speak early because i took him to classes or sat there all day trying to teach him - he is just the kind of child that picks up things and remembers them very easily. When other parents comment on his speach, i cannot sit there and say it was because i am a fabulous parent, i just say he picked it up quickly.
The fact that your 5 month old baby rarely cries is neither here nor there. You are just very lucky to have a baby with a good temperment. It's hard to say this without it being interperated that i am saying you are a bad parent - you are clearly not, you sound like a great parent. But sadly she you seem to be under the impression that your baby rarely cries and sleeps through the night etc is because of something you have done as a parent. It is not. Your baby is just natrually good in temperment.
My dd was an awkward baby not a very settled as a baby (although she did start sleeping through at 10 weeks
) and still is awkward still is quite a handful. My ds though, well he could have been described as the "perfect baby," although being second time around i knew it wasn't because i was being a perfect mum, i knew it was because he was just a contented baby with a quiet, laid back temperment. My dd and my ds are the complete opposite, yet my parenting has been consistant throughout - they are just very different children with different temperments.
"At only 5 months, my DD will sit in her bouncy chair and 'amuse herself' while I cook / chat with DH / have a glass of wine / watch tv / talk on the phone. She is very content."
"She also sleeps 12 - 13 hours a night and is called 'The Perfect Baby' by all my friends and relatives who observe how well behaved she is."
Again, you sound like a good mum but try not to be fooled that your dd is like this because of anything extra you may have done as a parent. Your dd would more then likely have been like this anyway.
At 5 months my ds very rarely cried and could sit up on his own and would entertain himself so to speak. My dd at 5 months couldn't sit on her own and wanted constant attention. I didn't do anything different either times yet had two very different babies.
Mums with uncontented babies haven't done anything less then you have, they just have babies who are naturally different in temperment then yours. No one is a better mum either way, one just got lucky.
I also think you haven't really given the p&t groups a chance. I know you said you have been but it could have only been a short time if your dd is only months. Some groups are better then others of course but you have to stick it out if you want to go to them. That way your face gets know and you start getting past the first awkward "Hello, how old is your dd" questions.
I am sorry if i sound harsh Millie and i can see from the thread that alot of your answers were defensive. But on the other hand i am one of those mums who has sort of been there and bought the t-shirt when it comes to under 5s. I have been through the classics such a fussy eater (at one point my dd wouldn't eat any veg at all) to toddler tantrums and beyond. I have had a newborn and a terrible toddler at the same time to look after, delt with ill child(ren) and been through potty training. At the moment my ds has gone from being a lovely quiet, contented little boy to a horrible two year old, where he tantrums over just about everything. I know from my dd that it is just a faze but you would be amazed at how they can go from lovely child to horrible child for a period of time and then (hopefully) back again. Mums who sigh at certain baby activities and situations usually do so because they are slightly more cynicle experienced and have been there.
Then i come on mn and read about a mum who wants to come across as "parent of the year" because she was blessed with an easy baby and hasn't even scratched the surface yet when it comes to parenting. I know you haven't said you want or think you are parent of the year, but you seem to be coming across that way.