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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get really annoyed at people commenting on my weight?

74 replies

runnyhabbit · 09/03/2011 16:49

I am 5'7, and a size 10/12.

Whenever I mention eating healthily or getting fit (in general conversation) I get told one, or all of the following -

-to not be so silly/stupid
-you're mad
-what do you want to lose weight for
-I bet you're one of those people that can eat anything

etc

I'm 35, had 2 dc and I am concious about what the whole family eat. I know I don't need to lose weight!

BUT

would anyone think they could comment so freely if I was overweight? I doubt it.

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 09/03/2011 17:01

Hmm is this boasting by stealth?

But in any case, I think people shouldn't make personal remarks.

softpaw · 09/03/2011 17:05

runnyhabbit...my big bugbear is people saying..Oh you are so lucky to be slim!
it's nothing to do with luck!
it's loving food,eating everything,cooking for the whole family,but not Overeating.
fat doesn't come overnight with the fat fairy..there has to come a moment when you say to yourself,enough is enough..get a grip

ConstanceFelicity · 09/03/2011 17:06

Oooooh yes OP, that must be so difficult for you...

Original poster
runnyhabbit · 09/03/2011 17:09

atswim - def not boasting by stealthHmm To one work colleague, it was perfectly ok for her to call me "skinny bitch".

Slim genes do run in my family, but as I've always been aware about what I eat.

What gets me more than anything, is that there is no way people would be quite so vocal if I was overweight.

OP posts:
softpaw · 09/03/2011 17:10

is OP original post? sorry,don't know the acronyms.
constance,she is talking for a lot of us,i think

Original poster
runnyhabbit · 09/03/2011 17:11

FGS

So obviously IABU to get annoyed at being insultedHmm

OP posts:
catchmeifyoucan · 09/03/2011 17:11

Lovely. Smug skinnies.

Think I'll have a bun.

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 09/03/2011 17:11

if you aren't getting the replies you want to hear, why not stop mentioning healthy eating/getting fit to these people?

It's a bit like stopping smoking - if you mention making a positive change in your life, people often get their backs up a little bit as they probably feel the SHOULD be doing to same as this, but at this point in time they aren't.

Oh & I am clearly overweight and people say the same things to ME! I'm serious! I think it's just a stock response and nothing to do with you.

but YABU - you are initiating the conversation re diet/exercise improvements and therefore aren't you inviting comment on your weight?

softpaw · 09/03/2011 17:11

is there a way to follow the thread without always going to Refresh? help?

Original poster
runnyhabbit · 09/03/2011 17:11

thank you SoftpawSmile

have to go now, parents evening

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 09/03/2011 17:12

YANBU.

Commenting about people's weight is rude and the idea that you are 'skinny' and so people can discuss your body is off.

I also hate how 'being healthy' equates to 'losing weight': I also get similar comments when I say I go running x number of times a week. It couldn't possibly be that I like running??

TheCrackFox · 09/03/2011 17:12

How is it rude if someone remarks, "what do you want to lose weight for"? Confused

thunderbird69 · 09/03/2011 17:12

I think they are paying you a compliment - don't knock it!

But I know what you mean about some people not understanding that a person can be slim and still be very unhealthy and unfit.

TheBolter · 09/03/2011 17:12

I'm 5'9 and a size 8.

NO WAY am I ever allowed to have a fat day in front of my female friends.

Because they would probably want to kick my (skinny) ass out of town.

But I do get them. And I get to feel saggy and misshapen after several months of not exercising. It's just I never mention it because it would sound crass.

RunnerHasbeen · 09/03/2011 17:13

Probably because most people bring up their diet and fitness plans in general conversation because they want to hear they look good already. It does sound like someone is fishing for compliments - what do you want people to say? I have found (thanks to my DH) that actually offering them weight loss advice doesn't usually go down very well either. Why are you even bringing it up? Unless you are asking them something directly (how did you lose weight, which dance class is it you go to etc.) then there is no good response.

However, if you are annoyed that people assume the only reason to exercise is to lose weight, then YANBU, but you can easily looked perplexed and point out to them that you want to rock climb, hula hoop etc. In general though I think YABU to give a damn after you are the one dragging the topic up and putting them on the spot.

Original poster
runnyhabbit · 09/03/2011 17:13

As I said in the OP, this is in general conversation. I am not bringing the subject up.

Todays example - boss went to shop and asked if I wanted a cream cake. I replied no thank you. Boss then said, oh go on, you could with putting some weight on.

am really going now

OP posts:
gorionine · 09/03/2011 17:17

I agree with you OP and I get comments about my weight too but the other way round. People should just abstain to make this type of comments IMHO.

I cannot believe peolpe would think it is "less bad" to call someone a skinny bitch than it is to call someone a skinny cow. Horrible.

but YABU - you are initiating the conversation re diet/exercise improvements and therefore aren't you inviting comment on your weight?

I would consoder OP to be on the very slim side from her description but if she is not happy with her body image she should be allowed to mention it without being insulted.

TheCrackFox · 09/03/2011 17:19

You do sounds like you are fishing for compliments. sorry.

gorionine · 09/03/2011 17:20

should say : I cannot believe peolpe would think it is "less bad" to call someone a skinny bitch than it is to call someone a fat cow. Horrible.

Mumofaflump · 09/03/2011 17:20

Hi, you are not being unreasonable. I am a size 6 (by nature, not my own efforts) and I HATE it when people take it upon themselves to comment.

In the last few months I have had:

(When buying a bag of crisps in Tescos) "Thats right dear, keep eating and you will never look so skinny again"

(In the pub, approached by random woman) "God, put some weight on"

(At mother and baby group) "You know you'll stop making milk if you carry on starving yourself.

I would NEVER walk up to a fat person and tell them to loose weight, tell them how awful they look or point out the health risks of being obese!!

It's hurtful, mean and not needed to make personal comments about anyone. Fact. Hmph.

softpaw · 09/03/2011 17:21

hello..someone answer me...or i'll go eat a whole chicken

catchmeifyoucan · 09/03/2011 17:23

*I'm 5'9 and a size 8.

NO WAY am I ever allowed to have a fat day in front of my female friends.*

See it's this kind of self indulgent nonsense that propagates body image hysteria. Try to understand that it is impossible to have a so called 'fat day' if you are size 8.

catsmrs · 09/03/2011 17:23

softpaw.. bookmark the last post, right hand side of post.

Fiddledee · 09/03/2011 17:28

size 10/12 I am and its not that thin at all, last 20 years sizes have increased alot. I do think you need to lose weight so do I.

RavenHairedPrincess · 09/03/2011 17:28

YANBU I'm slightly underweight for my height and under a dietician to try and put weight on but I struggle with it daily, and I am sick to death of the comments I get about my weight.
I wouldn't call someone who is overweight a fatty so why do I get called insert weight approiperate insult, although I never get the same comment twice when I have finished with them.