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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider telling neighbours off for entering my garden without perssion

28 replies

julietgale · 09/03/2011 12:20

To fix and repair their fence.

It blew down in the recent gales, and I knew they would have to fix it, they don't live in the house, it is mostly empty as they try to rent it.

However, they just came and stood in our garden and walking around it as they mended it. Surely for politeness sake (at least) they should have asked permission first?

Dh says I would have been unreasonable to tackle them about this yesterday. But today I discovered they'd left a trowel behind and moved a large decorative stone to the side (to get in to add reinforcement to their fence) the stone was left on its side, and possibly a danger to the dc as no longer 'stuck' on the ground.

I did tell them off for letting themselves into the front garden without permission (similar situation, fence) for which one of them apologised.

Dh thinks I'm being intolerant. Am I a little?

OP posts:

ajandjjmum · 09/03/2011 12:22

I would ask out of courtesy. And I'd probably move the stone back (always assuming it's your stone!!!).

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 09/03/2011 12:22

YANBU - common courtesy should prevail and they should have asked you first. DH has his own building/maintenance company and he would never go and do that without asking first.

You are def not being intolerant

krisskross · 09/03/2011 12:22

our nieghbours put a supporting scaffold post in our front garden for 2 weeks without mentioning it i was incandescent with rage but held it in for sake of good relations. it was one meter in our garden, where we park. FFS!

BaronessBomburst · 09/03/2011 12:23

Life's too short. I would just ignore it. At least they've mended the fence.

olderyetwider · 09/03/2011 12:24

Not unreasonable to be a bit miffed they didn't ask, but perhaps a bit OTT to tackle them about it. It's not exactly the crime of the century, and I expect you're glad the fence is sorted?

MrsH75 · 09/03/2011 12:24

I think I would remind them politely when returning the trowel, that though I have no problem with them coming into the garden to do repairs, to ask next time, to replace anything they have moved, to remove all tools and clear up any mess.

Particularly as it gave you a bit of a surprise to see unfamiliar people in the garden (as they don't live there).

eileenslightlytotheleft · 09/03/2011 12:25

Just keep the trowel.

worraliberty · 09/03/2011 12:27

They should have asked..it's only polite.

But I think 'telling them off' is a bit condescending. Maybe have a word if it's still bugging you..but at least the fence is mended.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 09/03/2011 12:34

YABU.

How do you expect them to replace the fence? You must have known that they would need to walk in your garden to do so. Does it really matter? They are replacing the fence, you don't have broken fence in your garden any more.

I mean, did they trample or damage anything? If not, then you are being ridiculous.

BeerTricksPotter · 09/03/2011 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

julietgale · 09/03/2011 12:40

I think I'm judging it on how I would have acted, which is to ask for permission, even if I knew permission would or could not be refused as repairs were essential.

Still unsure. I will have to return the trowel to them at some point.

OP posts:

BeerTricksPotter · 09/03/2011 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 09/03/2011 12:56

Just chuck the trowel over the fence

LeroyJethroGibbs · 09/03/2011 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 09/03/2011 13:15

YANBU They should have asked first. The lack of manners would have irritated me too.

ImeldaM · 09/03/2011 13:21

at Leroy, our neighbour comes into our garden for various reasons, hedge trimming, garage painting & we don't mind as my DS invariably has to go into their garden in summer to retrieve balls/other items so works both ways.

5Foot5 · 09/03/2011 13:37

PfftTheMagicDragon - there is nothing ridiculous about expecting a bit of common courtesy.

Of course they had to come in to her garden to repair the fence and it would have been unresaonable to expect them not to. But I think most polite people would have asked first.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 09/03/2011 13:41

Juliet - were you home when they started?

As you say, they don't live there, so I can see why, if you weren't home they would have just got on with the job while they were there. Not ideal, but not the end of the world. If you were home it was really rude.

Mumofaflump · 09/03/2011 13:50

I don't think you are being unreasonable. My landlords Grandma (?!?) once let herself and sone roofers into my back garden. Interestingly the gate was padlocked at the time so she must have either had a key or gotten the spare one from the letting agents... I went out and pointed out that as a young mum to a new baby I had been very close to calling the police until I figured out who they were/why they were there.

She apologised profusely and now she/my landlord/any contractors always knock first.

I also changed the padlock and added a whacking great big bike chain to be on the safe side!

whiskersonkittens · 09/03/2011 14:07

I would ask them to replace the stone as it is too heavey for you to move, and maybe comment, after they have done so, that you would apprecuiate it if they can let you know next time so you can keep dcs in

caughtinanet · 09/03/2011 14:12

I'm surprised so many people think its OK. I would never go in someone else's garden without asking them unless it was an emergency.

My neighbours once complained to me that a tradesman working on my house had gone into their garden without asking (I wasn't aware of it) - slightly different as it was a third party but I thought they had a valid complaint.

springbokdoc · 09/03/2011 14:18

Ugh this would bug me too.

Our incredibly snooty neighbours on the left were doing some garden work and the husband stood on our shed to prune some trees. I was incandescent with rage but didn't go outside as I tend to go a little bit angry scouse when things like this happen.

The neighbours landlord on the right have actually stolen some of our bed when fixing their fence. He also took out some of the plants (?weeds). I hate gardening so couldn't care but did let our landlord know.

Original poster

julietgale · 09/03/2011 14:25

Thank you for replies.
Yes, I was home when they started work. I actually opening up the blinds onto the back garden and saw one of them jump back quickly onto his own side upon spotting me.

Quite odd really, if I happened past the window, and they were walking about the garden they would quickly move to the centre or their side, like naughty schoolboys (they're in their 50s I would estimate).

So I think they guess I disapprove, but couldn't manage a 'just to let you know we're fixing fence and hope you don't mind if we have to go into your garden'

Oh and I told one of them off about the front garden a couple of years ago as they let themselves into the front garden and were hammering away (maintaining fence).

I know it sounds like a small thing. Dh is the opposite and really laid back. He thinks I'd be wasting my time to tell them again.

OP posts:

LadyThumb · 09/03/2011 14:32

I had this frequently with my neighbour opposite. Then he build a high, long wall right up to our boundary with no room for him to maintain it. Plonked around my garden painting it. So I planted 3 trees and a load of bushes - now not only can he not get to it, he can't paint it either. Sorted. Nasty I am, but then he is a very intolerant and inconsiderate person.

CheeseandPickledOnion · 09/03/2011 14:42

YABU. Seriously, how were they going to mend the fence without coming in your garden?

If they just walked in and set up deck chairs and had a BBQ that would be unreasonable.

What they did is fine.

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