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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pleased DS said what he did.......

183 replies

mumbar · 08/03/2011 20:35

even though I told him it wasn't his place.

Basically DS school do awards for 100% attendance. (I personally do not agree with these)

Been out at hospital appointment so late and when signing DS in he saw the list from last term (sept-Dec).

He asked where he name was and I said he'd had 1 1/2 days off so wouldn't be there.

DS reply (in front of HT Blush)

' but Mummy, one for hospital appointment and 1 was when I had allergic reaction at night, its not my fault I have allergies'.

This is totally my opinion (well any child with chronic medical needs who can't help missing school).

I have never expressed this in front of him but abviously children do notice these things. Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
mumbar · 08/03/2011 23:05

It is, I work in Early Years and we have had 3 children die in the space of a year. Sad

Maybe there shoudl be an attendance certificate for good/excellent attendance in the face of adversity. Smile

Therefore an children who miss school due to medical apts/ conditions who only miss school due to these don't feel excluded?

In my PCT Pead apts only run school hours Hmm Next apt (6month check up) is in school holidays. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
mumbar · 08/03/2011 23:07

panda what a great idea!!

OP posts:
cornsilkee · 08/03/2011 23:09

mumbar Sad

mintyneb · 08/03/2011 23:18

my DD doesn't start school til September but I'm against attendence awards already! DD has a chronic health condition and needs regular hospital appts that cannot be scheduled outside school hours, plus may need hospital admissions for up to 2 weeks at a time.

She will never be able to get a 100% attendance award.

But, and this is where I deviate slightly from other peoples views, should DD fall prey to stomach bugs, chicken pox and any other number of childhood illnesses, then I don't have a problem with her not getting an award as I can explain the reasons to her.

But the only reason she has hospital appointments is because she has a health condition and she will be admitted for treatment because she has picked up an infection that only people with her condition usually suffer from. believe me one day she will hate with a passion the fact that she is 'unwell' so to throw in missing out on awards just throws salt onto the wounds as far as I can see.

Yes, I agree that life is unfair, rules suck, but as other people have said, a child with a disability or health condition or any kind of special needs will have worked out for themselves quite quickly that this is the case

Mumbar, sorry that your DS came out with what he did but glad he said it in front of the HT!

mintyneb · 08/03/2011 23:20

oops just read your later post Mumbar, so sad to hear about the little girl but how nice to hear that she had been treated fairly

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 08/03/2011 23:26

Mumbar - I love your DS :)

I have only read your posts as whenever this comes up for discussion you get the same set of responses and it really raises my blood pressure Angry

Attendance certificates should be shoved somewhere uncomfortable and the schools that still do them should be made to come up with something that gives all children an incentive to do well no matter what it is they struggle with. Certificates are brilliant, but they should be based on personal achievement.

I'm glad he said, what he said, in front of the HT and I wouldn't have told him it wasn't his place - I'd have done a bit of 'loud parenting' Grin

aliceliddell · 08/03/2011 23:30

sourdoughface: was it irony? if not, I guess you haven't had the joy of "choosing" to withdraw from school and home ed. your school refuser child until finally getting her into a brilliant school with the ability to deal with her overwhelming anxiety and letting you attend with your kid every day for 6 months. Until you've either had that experience yourself, or know someone who has: exercise some compassion on the assumption that the parents of such kids aren't taking the piss, actually we're close to desperate and could use the help.

Blu · 08/03/2011 23:39

Attendance is a matter of luck, not merit - but in any case it is completely unfair to intoduce an award that children who because of disability or permanent health condition could NEVER stand a chance of winning.

Regular, unmissable consultants appointments are completely different from routine dentist appointments that can be in the holidays or emergency appointments that all children are at equal risk from.

Actually, I don't especially want Ds to be want awards that you get for no actual effort - being well is it's own reward - and bloody attendance awards lead to parents sending their children in with swine flu in order to get the coveted gold cetificate.

But as his class elected school councillor he got the criteria for attendance awards changed at his school to not include absences which were a esult of permanent disability or health conditions!

annbenoli · 08/03/2011 23:46

I am an inclusion manager in a primary school and also a mum of three. I totally see where you are all coming from and no it doesnt seem fair to punish children for being ill or to reward children for going into school ill and spreading germs about. However, for some families attendance is a real issue and for them the children really do suffer with the gap between poor attenders and other children widening by the end of key stage 2. that is why school gives attendance awards to encourage the children who sometimes have days off without being ill to go and it does work (sometimes). We have families where the mum keeps one child off for company or where children frequently have mondays and fridays off, or where the children have giro day off.

Blu · 08/03/2011 23:53

Annbenoli - yes, I can see the logic of that, and if it works, great. Esp if it works to incentivise those who don't take school seriously rather than exta-incentivising the comeptitive parents who will send an ill child to school rather than lose out on a certificate.

BUT if unavoidable absences relating to permanent disability or permanent ill-health issues are not counted then it's a level playing field for all kids re not bunking off and languishing on the sofa for a slight itch. That's inclusion, surely? And doesn't disadvantage anyone else.

BunnyWunny · 08/03/2011 23:55

Surely the 100% attendance awards only go to a few children anyway- they do in dds school- maybe one or two in each class do a whole year. As you have all said, kids get sick, fact! Therefore if they are only awarded to the minority why would you be so disappointed if you didn't get one? My dd didn't get one.

cornsilkee Why do you hope I am not a teacher? Do you only want teacher's that agree with your opinion?

I still think it is unfair not to recognise a child who has had a full years attendance, it is an achievement, and shows it is important to attend regularly, especially at secondary school age where pupils are more in charge of their own attendance. It is also sending the message that it really isn't ok to miss school for dental check ups, new shoes, small sniffs, long weekends, sleeping in late etc- which I know for a fact happen in lots of schools.

Whatever the award there will be some children that find it impossible to achieve.

cory · 08/03/2011 23:56

The bit I don't get is why children with chronic conditions should need extra opportunities to learn that life isn't fair? Does anyone suppose they won't notice if they don't get their faces rubbed into it in weekly assemblies? Hmm

amistillsexy · 09/03/2011 00:04

Just like to say, sourdoughface, :

Wanna walk a mile in my shoes before you start spouting such shit?

BunnyWunny · 09/03/2011 00:08

Not sure about giving prizes though, over the top and more likely to lead to parents sending in sick children- but can't see the harm in a certificate and a handshake in assembly.

thumbwitch · 09/03/2011 00:14

YANBU.
DS is only 3 so I haven't had to deal with this yet but we were round at one of his friend's house the other day and the friend's older brother showed me his folder of achievement certificates. (we're in Australia, btw, so things might be a touch different here).

I find the 100% attendance thing bloody annoying already - not so much that children who do achieve it are given little certificates, that doesn't bother me; but that children who don't achieve it through no fault of their own are effectively punished for it, by being made to miss out on treats given only to the 100% attendees. That is SHIT and it really upsets me.

I also don't believe that the 100% attendance thing should be done at primary level at all - or at least not before the age of 8. Divisive, exclusionary, it's awful. Just another stick to beat the sickly children with, if you ask me, as if they didn't have enough to contend with already.

thumbwitch · 09/03/2011 00:16

Blu - just seen your last point - bloody well done to your DS! he sounds brilliant. :)

cory · 09/03/2011 00:16

My family (two children with chronic disorders) wouldn't mind certificates being quietly handed over: what we do mind is weekly assemblies with long moralising talks about how the children with 100% attendance are good children and children with lower than 87% have lost all their chance of doing well in life. Noone gives talks in assembly about how children who get As in their maths test are good, or points out that children who get Cs will do less well in life. So what's so special about attendance.

cory · 09/03/2011 00:18

The ones I really hate with a passion are the schemes that will give a whole table or class an award for high attendance. You can guess what it's like to be the child who makes her group miss out every time...

thumbwitch · 09/03/2011 00:26

oh cory. Yes, that is just hideous. :(

And I agree - you can turn up every day of your life and do fuck all when you're there; or just disrupt the class with your behaviour; and you'll still get the idea that just by being there you're somehow better than the next child who had to have a hospital appointment for whatever reason. :(

onceamai · 09/03/2011 00:31

Interesting isn't it - a few employers tried it a few years ago and it got kicked into touch. Something to do with the Disability Discrimination Act 1995 and as amended I believe, now superseded by the Equalities Act (2010). Suggest you ask if such awards are also given to the teaching staff - God help the head if she's taken sick for a day next term.

thumbwitch · 09/03/2011 00:36

Are children not covered by the Equalities Act then? Because if they are then every parent of a child with disabilities could challenge this stupid system.

nzshar · 09/03/2011 00:50

So the inclusion of some exclude others Hmm

onceamai · 09/03/2011 01:00

But schools aren't run on the same rules as the rest of society are they. Anyone think that might be why they fail so many children? They've had plenty of years now to get it right.

differentnameforthis · 09/03/2011 01:08

hey are rewarding parental behaviour

Which is often misplaced. My friend sent her dd2 to kindy with whooping cough, her dd3 to childcare with it & her dd1 to school after having been continually exposed to it.

My dd caught swine flu from school, after a parent sent their child in with it as 'he only had mild cold symptoms'. Thankfully she too only had mild symptoms, but that isn't the point.

100% attendance isn't 100% perfect if the child is ill, imo. But some parents need that approval. Not me.

thumbwitch · 09/03/2011 01:18

nzshar - eh?