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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pleased DS said what he did.......

183 replies

mumbar · 08/03/2011 20:35

even though I told him it wasn't his place.

Basically DS school do awards for 100% attendance. (I personally do not agree with these)

Been out at hospital appointment so late and when signing DS in he saw the list from last term (sept-Dec).

He asked where he name was and I said he'd had 1 1/2 days off so wouldn't be there.

DS reply (in front of HT Blush)

' but Mummy, one for hospital appointment and 1 was when I had allergic reaction at night, its not my fault I have allergies'.

This is totally my opinion (well any child with chronic medical needs who can't help missing school).

I have never expressed this in front of him but abviously children do notice these things. Sad

OP posts:
cornsilkee · 08/03/2011 22:09

because they are lucky enough to have managed 100% attendance

megapixels · 08/03/2011 22:10

Even if the child is reasonably healthy the chances are that you'll probably have a session or two of absences due to unavoidable circumstances. For eg. in our area a dental appointment could only be taken during school hours, so other than just forgetting about the child's dental health there is no way of getting 100% attendance.

nzshar · 08/03/2011 22:11

Like I said bully for them they didn't get sick during term time ....its not like anyone asks to get sick its not optional. I understand those that just have time off for holidays or birthdays ( I know some who do this) that is a choice the parent is making but when a child is sick or has appointments due to a disability then that is not fair IMO

thefirstMrsDeVere · 08/03/2011 22:11

Because their parents have got them out of bed and dressed and to school on time Hmm

There are loads of other things they can be rewarded for. I dont buy the 'it might be the only thing they will get a certificate for'. Pretty crap school if thats the only thing they can recognise non academic, non sporty kids for.

tomhardyismydh · 08/03/2011 22:13

they definatly would sidge, not sure about the buggy as that may turn over. I have supported wheelchair users on the ice.

do redcross still loan chairs, worth a try, your dd will have as much fun as anyone else.

blackeyedsusan · 08/03/2011 22:14

well done mumbars ds

(as a teacher who has been vomited on because "he felt a bit poorly this morning but is alright now" I wish people would keep poorly children off)

AtYourCervix · 08/03/2011 22:16

well done Mumbar's DS.

Sourdoughface - i sincerely hope that was irony. if not - fuck off you utter nobbing twat.

cornsilkee · 08/03/2011 22:18

couldn't have put it better myself atyourcervix!

worraliberty · 08/03/2011 22:18

because they are lucky enough to have managed 100% attendance

Yes but even the ones lucky enough to be healthy will play up to get a day off school...especially some of the younger ones. Or they don't want to go to school because they have a sniffle.

The certificates are designed to improve overall attendance and they do in most schools.

I still wouldn't begrude a child a certificate. It's not the end of the world if all the other kids can't get one..there are plenty other certificates they can try to get.

cornsilkee · 08/03/2011 22:20

people who have children who can't make 100% attendance aren't talking about sniffles

littlebylittle · 08/03/2011 22:21

Cornsilkee, I actually don't object to children being rewarded for doing things that are actually just good luck-in some ways that's how society works. A large part of the reason I achieved academic success is genetic good luck and additional good luck of having supportive parents with a background of achievement. And even though i worked hard, it's a lot easier to keep motivated to work hard when you have a reasonable chance of success. It's just that attendance awards have the additional problem of encouraging children who should be keeping heir bugs away from others to be in school.

prettyfly1 · 08/03/2011 22:24

I do get why its miserable if your kid is effectively not eligible for an award as my son has adhd so I have to attend various appointments and he has never been the class star but I dont hate the awards. I am a grown up, so am used to employee of the month, extra days off for no sick days taken etc, which in principle are the same thing. It sucks a bit but its life and the kids are just being prepared for the sort of things they will be measured on their whole lives. The whole "my child will never get it" thing is tough really. It is rubbish when your child is upset but they wont always win everything, disappointment happens and children are far too shielded from it these days. I know I am probably going to get flamed but I just think there is too much adult foot stamping over this stuff.

worraliberty · 08/03/2011 22:26

people who have children who can't make 100% attendance aren't talking about sniffles

No but the certificates are designed for the children who can but don't make 100% attendance due to sniffles or some such other trivial reason. It's designed to encourage those who can go to school to do so.

cornsilkee · 08/03/2011 22:32

I disagree. Headteachers and EWOs (who push attendance) don't really have knowledge of conditions which can prevent children from achieving these awards and in many cases don't take them seriously. Their objective is to meet government targets.

petratsdontsmell · 08/03/2011 22:33

I always used to get moaned at by the school because my children never made higher than 85% attendance.
I used to give them days off just bescause they were tired or out of sorts.
People used to get especially cross with me because I was a school governor and 'terribly educated so really ought to know better'.
But I still think 5 days a week is too long at school and if teachers talked faster we could get it over in 3.5days max.
I think 100% attendance just shows lack of imagination over what to do every day.

megapixels · 08/03/2011 22:38

"if teachers talked faster "

Seriously? Confused

cornsilkee · 08/03/2011 22:41

a lot of what goes on in class is just time filling in though - copying from the board? waste of time. copying from a worksheet? waste of time. Most assemblies are a waste of time. Can't hear most of them.

TheSleepFairy · 08/03/2011 22:48

DD3 has a heart condition & I feel sad knowing she will never achieve 100% due to hospital apps.

If children are sick you shouldn't send them to school, a sickness bug for a normally healthy child is just a sickness bug but if DD3 catches it it's hospital, nebs, echos..... selfish imo.

petratsdontsmell · 08/03/2011 22:50

The best bit was I used to do the school's attendance statistics for the council... which meant I got to read a whole years worth of 'absence notes' in order to fill in the box about how many did/did not provide notes etc. Now that really WAS an eye-opener. Soooo interesting! Such an insight into how people think! Couldn't breathe a word of course but it did make you look at some people differently.
Personally, now I would never write anything more than 'sorry X not in school today but not well enough'.

petratsdontsmell · 08/03/2011 22:53

"look at some people differently"- not those who were actually ill of course, but thiose with mammoth excuses- you'd never have suspected them of having such an imagination.

Hassled · 08/03/2011 22:53

Your DS did well and I hope the HT took note. In the HT's defence, attendance targets are driven by the LAs - insanely high targets are promoted and there's constant pressure on schools to achieve them and then raise them the following year.

But it drives me mad - effectively penalising children for having had the audacity to have had diarrhoea, FFS. Or, in the case of my friend's DD, getting to the stage where a clearly unwell girl was determined to go to school (and spread her germs around) because otherwise she wouldn't get the certificate.

Original poster
mumbar · 08/03/2011 22:55

Alt your neice is a star. Ds is only 6 too - its amazing how perceptive they are at that age.

Sorry Ive been off for a bit. Friend rang who is a teacher - so I asked her Grin

She hates them too. Grin

I work in SEN school too. Each year they give an award to a child from each class who has made 'special' acheivement. (they do weekly awards too) A girl in my class got it for coming into school despite all her medical difficulties and improvement in tolerating school. Her attendance was only about 50%. (very poorly girl, CP, no sight or hearing, epileptic) She died 6 months later. Sad Her parents said they felt proud that the school had recognised now difficult it was for her to come to school.

OP posts:
cornsilkee · 08/03/2011 22:57

mumbar that must be heartbreaking Sad

TastesLikePanda · 08/03/2011 23:01

A school local to me had a lovely idea... if the whole school ever achieved over 95% attendance for just one week, then all the children would win. Their prize was a pie fight! How wonderful was that?! I never did get to see if they carried it out, but I happened to be in assembly when it was announced that they had achieved it and the cheers were deafening!

cornsilkee · 08/03/2011 23:03

wow! that sounds fantastic!