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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that nobody will come near my children with chicken pox

96 replies

pennedin · 06/03/2011 11:41

Feel free to tell me I am.

DDs have chicken pox. Have had them since Thursday.

We are restricted to the house. Friends whose children have had chicken pox have called in to keep us entertained and been lovely and helpful BUT my family is useless!

MIL won't come because she is worried she will get shingles. She is a perfectly healthy 65 year old.

My sister won't come because her husband is diabetic. Now I'm prepared to accept that he might have to be careful for some reason but surely she doesn't. They've both had chicken pox.

If they don't want to help, I'm fine with that but enough with the 'I'd love to help but better not'

Angry

Are they really at risk?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 06/03/2011 12:45

'I am surprised to hear you can repeatedly catch chickenpox. I am older, and definitely in the 50's and 60's it was thought that one infection protected you.'

My mother even caught whooping cough twice! Once, as a child. Later, when she was over 65 and had COPD, she got it again - milder, but as a cough that wouldn't go away. They thought she had TB and did tons of tests.

Guess her immune system just isn't what it was. Sad

iscream · 06/03/2011 12:55

Well, they may be a wee bit unreasonable, but so be it, that is what they feel comfortable with, and it isn't a permanent condition, lol. I am afraid of rottweilers and pit bulls and refuse to visit anyone who had any, regardless of what they tell me. I guess chicken pox is their rottie! You will be free from the house in a short time. :)
I came down with shingles 7 years ago, I don't know why. I had a chest infection at the time, I wonder if that contributed to it?

PepsiPopcorn · 06/03/2011 13:01

YABU. Why should anyone have to be exposed to a disease they don't want to catch, to please you? Hmm

dawntigga · 06/03/2011 13:13

Depends, I've had chicken pox 9 times (each time slightly milder than the time before but still all awful) and shingles once. I dread The Cub getting them as I know I will. So perhaps somebody is in a similar position to me?

KnowsSheWillTakeTheCubToSomebody'sHouseWhoHasThePoxResignedTiggaxx

Bumperlicious · 06/03/2011 13:28

I understand. Dd1 had it last week and I am expecting the baby to get the this week. If yours have it at the same time you are lucky. It's miserable though and I can understand your frustration. It's not very common to catch it again. Most of my friends have babies and family too far away so I didn't see anyone.

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 06/03/2011 13:38

YABVU! We are wondering what to do with DD2 who hasnt had poxs yet as shes 3 years old but know when she does, that DH may get it and end up in hospital with it due to chemo.
I remember one early day he had gone to farm with my sisters and kids and some LO had sat next to him with CP that werent scabbed over, was very horrible for him. :(
I saw my friends 13 year old who has just got CP from his little sister and he is in so much pain and so unwell with it.

thumbwitch · 06/03/2011 13:53

iscream, shingles is quite often activated by pneumonia, perhaps your chest infection was severe enough to do the same.

Glad to see that so many people on this thread know that you can't catch shingles from someone with CP but you can catch CP from someone with shingles.

Most people who have a fully functional immune system should not catch CP more than once. I don't know whether the Varicella zoster virus has been through a major mutation, like the flu virus does every 10 years, to side-step the immune defences, or whether it is something within the people themselves that they don't have long lasting immune defences.
DH had CP when he was in his 20s - caught it on a plane - but he wasn't too ill with it, thankfully.

sexistandygray · 06/03/2011 14:17

YABVVVVVU.

Bumperlicious · 06/03/2011 16:22

Lisa can your dc be immunised? I thought it was offered to children who were around people who are immunosuppresssd.

valiumredhead · 06/03/2011 16:24

YABU

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 06/03/2011 16:58

I didn't know that will call and ask GP tomorrow

thefirstMrsDeVere · 06/03/2011 18:06

lisa DS2 was immunised when DD was on treatment so definately ask your GP. It is not 100% affective but if they do get it, its very mild.

I would still say it was worth it though.

Hulababy · 06/03/2011 18:17

You MIL is being unreasonable, but through ignorance I suspect.

You CANNOT catch shingles from chicken pox. You can however catch chicken pox from shingles.

You can only get shingles IF you have have chicken pox previously. Then part of the virus lays dormant in you system. Then at times of being run down or stressed, etc it can flair up and come out as shingles. Coming into contact with someone with chicken pox however cannot cause this to occur.

I suspect your Sister is also unreasonabe through ignorance too. She has had cp therfore she isn't going to get it again (it is very very rare too). She is at no real risk at all. She can't carry it to her dh - who also wouldn't beat risk anyway as he has already had it.

Hulababy · 06/03/2011 18:20

Think it might have been said before though, lol!

EdgarAleNPie · 06/03/2011 18:31

my neighbour is currently hiding due to a CP outbreak. her wedding is in two weeks. two under-3s at home.

AlistairSim · 06/03/2011 18:31

Well fuck me with a pox-ridden oar.

I've just had CP for the first time and was nearly hospitalised, it was shitty shit.
DD caught it from me and was fine apart from the rash.
DS is still stubbornly non-spotty.

I was feeling quite releived to have got it over with. And now, NOW you tell me that I could get it again??
You all need to brush up on your people skills.

ReindeerBollocks · 06/03/2011 18:31

YABVU - but you know this.

Fingers crossed it scabs up soon so you can leave the house though, it's not nice having poorly little ones especially when stuck indoors.

Rhinestone · 06/03/2011 18:36

You are being unreasonable, selfish and self-obsessed. You can get CP more than once.

lubberlich · 06/03/2011 18:39

Whilst going through chemotherapy and having zero immunity a friend and her DP came to visit - he had a very bad case of shingles. I was advised by the GP to boot him out of the house asap - eventhough I had chicken pox as a kid.

Eventhough you can get chicken pox more than once a good dose of it in childhood should give you lifelong imunity. Having CP for the first time as an adult is supposed to be sodding awful.

fit2drop · 06/03/2011 19:01

When mine were little, years ago, we had chicken pox partys ,to make sure they got cp as a child as the cp when older has many many risks.
However my DD caught cp when she was 25 and ended up in hospital dangerously ill with encephalitis, it was a very worryiing time , scarily so.
So I am in the YABVU camp. but I also sympathise with you about going stir crazy and needing a place to vent .
Hope everyone is scab free and poxless really soonGrin

Oh and its not only older people get shingles, my othr dd was 4 the first time she got it and has had it several times since, I have had it twice(fecking hatefull condition it is)

Bumperlicious · 06/03/2011 19:20

Lisa from the NHS's mouth :)

Panzee · 06/03/2011 19:23

Can you catch shingles from chicken pox?

HappySeven · 06/03/2011 19:42

Just to add to the often posted comment of "you can't catch shingles...". Being exposed to people with chicken pox actually reduces your chances of getting shingles.

The argument goes that your body recognises that it's seen it before and it gives the antibodies a boost so that you are less likely to succumb to shingles. It's one of the arguments against vaccination of chicken pox in the UK - the elderly wouldn't be exposed and would be at greater risk of shingles.

HappySeven · 06/03/2011 19:44

PS it's pretty rare to get it more than once and those that manage it can consider themselves special.

dawntigga · 06/03/2011 20:41

Happy7 I REALLY wish I wasn't special in this way!

Why can't I be a freaking awesome artist instead?

SpecialCosSheGetsScabbyEasilyTiggaxx

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