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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that nobody will come near my children with chicken pox

96 replies

pennedin · 06/03/2011 11:41

Feel free to tell me I am.

DDs have chicken pox. Have had them since Thursday.

We are restricted to the house. Friends whose children have had chicken pox have called in to keep us entertained and been lovely and helpful BUT my family is useless!

MIL won't come because she is worried she will get shingles. She is a perfectly healthy 65 year old.

My sister won't come because her husband is diabetic. Now I'm prepared to accept that he might have to be careful for some reason but surely she doesn't. They've both had chicken pox.

If they don't want to help, I'm fine with that but enough with the 'I'd love to help but better not'

Angry

Are they really at risk?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 06/03/2011 11:57

What do you need them to do that you can't do? Shopping you can do online, and you aren't poorly. They have had friends visiting.

You are BU.

ReshapeWhileDamp · 06/03/2011 11:57

YABU, but please tell your MIL that she can only get Shingles if she's already had Chicken Pox at some point, and in that case, she can get Shingles at any time! It won't be 'triggered' by contact with your kids.

Hope they recover soon and that you don't get cabin fever! Smile

Original poster
pennedin · 06/03/2011 11:58

Just to be clear, I know the risks to people of catching chicken pox, or that people might not want chicken pox. That's why we're staying indoors.

It's the catching shingles from chicken pox excuses that are annoying me.

But I know I'm BU, which is why I'm ranting at you not them :o

OP posts:
GiddyPickle · 06/03/2011 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReshapeWhileDamp · 06/03/2011 11:59

Blush sorry, I see that point has already been made a few times...

worraliberty · 06/03/2011 12:00

Perhaps they are not excuses and they genuinley don't realise they can't?

Up until just a few years ago many people didn't understand Shingles. The medical proffession still don't truly understand them.

weegiemum · 06/03/2011 12:01

You can't get shingles from chickenpox

However, you can get chickenpox from shingles.

I don't stay away as mine have all had it and as dh and I never got it more than once we're not that worried. But I can see why people would do, even if I thought they were BU.

eviscerateyourmemory · 06/03/2011 12:02

Just in case anyone didnt see the other posts, You cont catch shingles. It is a reactivation of the chicken pox virus that you already have.

Contact with the chicken pox virus if you have already had it can reduce the risk of shingles, as it enhances your immune response to the chicken pox virus.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 06/03/2011 12:04

I don't think anyone's mentioned yet that you can't catch shingles from chicken pox...

worraliberty · 06/03/2011 12:05

To be honest if anyone didn't see the other posts, they should be using Braille Blush

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 06/03/2011 12:06

Actually, I think I remember reading that you are less likely to develop shingles if you are repeatedly exposed to "wild" chicken pox after you've had the pox yourself. But I can't remember where I read it so no idea whether there's any science behind it or if it's just a bit woo.

eviscerateyourmemory · 06/03/2011 12:11

True, not woo.

here is one link there are many similar papers on pubmed.

Ephiny · 06/03/2011 12:14

Yes but suppose the MIL has not had chicken pox before? Then currently she is at no risk of shingles, whereas if she catches chicken pox from the OPs children she will be at risk afterwards? So indirectly she may have a point.

I'm not sure whether I've ever had it or not tbh, so would stay away just in case. Shingles is really unpleasant (and chicken-pox itself apparently is not very nice especially in adults).

I thought children were vaccinated for chicken-pox these days anyway, or is that not in the UK?

Original poster
pennedin · 06/03/2011 12:14

So I can tell them it's in their own interests to come Wink

OP posts:
TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 06/03/2011 12:18

So can you catch shingles from someone with chickenpox? I think we need to clarify...

YABU

No children are not vaccinated in the UK, Ephiny - they should be IMO. Friend's boy spent 4 days in hospital with it recently.

Original poster
pennedin · 06/03/2011 12:19

MIL has has CP, although I didn't know you catch it twice.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 06/03/2011 12:24

YABU.

I'd never have expected someone to stop in and 'keep up entertained' around chickenpox, especially an over-65 or someone who has diabetes.

My DDs have had it - it was nearly a month before we were all clear, and DS has yet to get it, so I know what it's like.

It's one of those things you have to suck up as a parent.

reelingintheyears · 06/03/2011 12:28

My Mum had shingles and was really ill..

I used to work in an old people's home and one lady came in with shingles in her eyes...
She was extremely ill and didn't live very long.

It wasn't just the shingles but that didn't help.

My DD (yes, she was only 21 and very healthy)) had shingles last year and wasn't allowed back to work until she was completely over it....she had them on her NOSE.

Lambzig · 06/03/2011 12:30

I have had chickenpox 5 times now as an adult and its grim. Seem to catch it every time I get exposed to it and was terrified when someone bought their little boy with chicken pox round when I was pregnant (luckily they left pretty quickly and I didnt get it that time). So YABU

reelingintheyears · 06/03/2011 12:31

My Mum caught shingles from a friends DD who had CP.

Don't know how DD got it.

Another friend's DS had CP in his eyes and had to go to hospital...he nearly lost his sight.

Birdsgottafly · 06/03/2011 12:33

You can't get shingles from chickenpox- but if the person is immune suppressed,or is run down because of illness or old age and has had CP, then they can develop shingles. Your MIL has a right to protect her health and your sister her husbands health. CP is only of no concern to healthy adults.

It is not a major hardship for you to wait out the full incubation period.

edam · 06/03/2011 12:36

OP, sympathies, being stuck inside while your children have chickenpox is miserable. Better than infecting anyone else, of course, but still frustrating.

When ds had chickenpox, I used to take him to the park during school hours when it was empty. (Not the playground because younger children might be there.) If we saw anyone else, we gave them a very wide berth indeed. But at least it got us some fresh air.

reelingintheyears · 06/03/2011 12:37

BBC - Health: ShinglesYou can catch chickenpox from someone with shingles, if you've never had the ... www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/shingles1.shtml - Cached

midnightservant · 06/03/2011 12:40

I am surprised to hear you can repeatedly catch chickenpox. I am older, and definitely in the 50's and 60's it was thought that one infection protected you.

When my DC were small in the late 80's people even used to have chicken pox parties so their kids could get the infection over with.

I am wondering whether the virus has evolved?

Ephiny · 06/03/2011 12:40

Oh I see, well if MIL has had CP before anyway then I agree she's probably got the wrong end of the stick about how shingles works.

Still the possibility of catching CP again though (I didn't know you could either!) and you are being a bit unreasonable to be 'annoyed' that people aren't rushing to entertain your children for you.