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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this an extreme over reaction by a police officer?

92 replies

Kitsilano · 05/03/2011 17:30

My friend was walking her kids home from school yesterday as she does every day. She has 4 (the eldest is 6yrs old, the youngest 1yr). The eldest was scooting ahead of the pushchair but within sight, is well taught to stop and wait at each curb while she catches up so they can cross the road together.

She was stopped by a policeman who said she wasn't taking care of her children properly and was placing them in danger. She disagreed, they had a discussion and eventually he got in his car to drive off. Before he left she went to the car window and asked for his police number as she wanted to make a complaint.

At this point, he said he was going to report her to social services.

She is now distraught and angry, doesn't feel what she was doing amounts to putting her children in danger and feels bullied because he decided to escalate it because she asked for his number.

What do you think? Any social workers know what might happen next?

OP posts:

lubeybooby · 06/03/2011 23:51

how can the copper report her anyway? Doesnt sound like he knows her name and address

squeakytoy · 06/03/2011 23:52

As a driver, I absolutely hate seeing small kids, scooting along the pavement miles ahead of their parents. I dont fecking care if you "can see them".. unless you are some sort of superhero, you cant bloody get a grip on them if they dont stop, nor can a driver coming out of his driveway see them...

If you have young children they should be as close to you as possible on the pavement.

worraliberty · 06/03/2011 23:55

Agree 100% Squeaky and just because a child on a scooter has been 'well taught to stop at a curb' doesn't mean they actually can. I've seen many a child misjudge the speed the scooter is going when they've tried to stop.

HecateTheCrone · 07/03/2011 07:20

I think that reporting her to social services is ott.

However. On the school run to the kids old school, we would see a woman walking several children down to the infant school. She had a couple of children in a pushchair and another couple of maybe 4yr olds nning in front or behind (varied day by day!) and another one slighly older running way off in front.(I think she was a childminder)

Busy road. Lots of cars. Small children. Running in front /lagging behind. Often one lagging way behind and another running off in front. Often see them running along first, round corners and then you'd see her ambling along, not a care in the world.

And yes, we thought that was foolish in the extreme. Where was the risk assessment? those are small children who could easily have run off the pavement / tripped / simply decided to carry on running down the road because children are unpredicable

So while I think the police officer got personal with the SS thing, I think your friend is foolish for failing to consider the risks. A 6 yr old cannot be relied upon to control a scooter. even if they never get carried away and carry on scooting, they can be going faster than they think and go clean off the kerb.

ledkr · 07/03/2011 07:48

i agree too,i posted this yesterday and expected minor burns from the flufy "let them have freedom" camp.I think they are far to precious and unpredictable to risk running off in front,dh allowed my dd to when she was 6 and a smaller child pushed her into the rd,luckily she was ok but just shows that its not safe at all.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 07/03/2011 10:05

Ds had excellent road safety awareness at 6. He never, ever set foot (or wheel) on the road without holding my hand.

Until the day he dashed straight across a side road to greet a friend on the other side. Thankfully the motorist he ran in front of managed to brake in time.

My point is that I knew ds was absolutely, 100% trustworthy where roads were concerned. And I was very, very wrong. I don't judge people who let their dcs scoot or run ahead, because I did. But I think they're very naive, as I was.

jeee · 07/03/2011 10:12

But how did the police know who to report to SS - I mean, random kid on scooter, and the policeman knows instinctively his name and address? Sherlock Holmes, eat your heart out.

LadyBiscuit · 07/03/2011 10:18

I let my DS scoot ahead the whole time and he's 4. He never goes onto the road. How are you supposed to allow a child to use a scooter and remain right next to you at all times?

(disclaimer - it is very very quiet where we live and we don't cross any roads on the way to pre-school)

TandB · 07/03/2011 10:24

I wonder if some of this story has been lost in the third-hand telling.

ie child nearly went across a road, mother was defensive, details exchanged, mother went into police station to check what was happening and was advised that a report had been made.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 07/03/2011 10:29

Lady, if there are no roads or driveways to cross and the pavement is sufficiently wide then it's entirely different.

Otherwise, in answer to your question I'd say that if they can't scoot right near you, then don't let them scoot at all.

LadyBiscuit · 07/03/2011 10:34

Hmm ... whatever the situation, I think a policeman stopping and haranguing someone for this is completely OTT. Don't they have anything better to do?

JBellingham · 07/03/2011 10:47

How did the PO know who to complain about? Did he ask your friend to stop and account? If so he should have given her a form with why she was stopped, it would have his collar number on it.

To get a caution you have to admit guilt.

Was it a properly trained Police Officer or a PCSO?

squeakytoy · 07/03/2011 10:51

Dont think PCSO's have cars do they? Not sure, I could be wrong, but the ones around here just wander about all day looking bored.

JBellingham · 07/03/2011 10:52

PCSO's do drive marked police cars sometimes. Esp if in the little dinky cctv ones that look like noddy cars.

mmsmum · 07/03/2011 11:10

Either this is made up or completely wrong or the child actually ran out in front of the police car or at least the police officer thought the child was about to

I think what happened as the PO was driving off sound a bit if you complain about me, I'll complain about you,

I think the OP needs to take someone with some sense and a level head to the police station with her to sort it all out

mmsmum · 07/03/2011 11:11

Sorry, the op's friend, not the op

SmashingNarcissistsMirrors · 07/03/2011 11:16

traffic is the biggest killer of young children. it is generally the police / emergency services that attend when children are killed on the roads so they have a different outlook on the danger presented.

if it was me i'd probably have thanked the officer for pointing it out or asked them to explain what they thought the danger was.

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