To be "confused" about people's relationships on MN?

[AnnyR]

I have only been reading these forums for a few weeks and am increasingly confused/worried about many people's reactions relationships.

There seems to be a stock answer of "kick him out" or "leave him" when someone is having a bad time with their DH or DP. Is this why we have such a high divorce rate at the moment?

I wonder because I think that no-one is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Having been married for nearly 25 years I know that it is hard to stick it out sometimes. Both of us have done things to hurt and upset the other over the years, but we stick together for loads of reasons. Mainly because we ultimately love each other. And because we have DC who need both of us.

Obviously, cases of domestic violence are different - I don't think you should always stay together no matter what. Also, I am not religious and didn't make vows in church, so I am not coming from that angle either.

But why are so many Mumsnetters so quick to advise people to leave?

I am genuinely confused and sad :(

I have found it is more likely on AIBU than in relationships, to be honest - I posted in relationships about a problem in my marriage and I am sure that I had I put it here, I would have been told to leave my husband - on relationships I actually found I got very sensible and measured advice.

yes, PV, I think there are more measured responses in the Relationships topic

AIBU doesn't have the rep it does for nothing

what table is that, larry ?

there is a current thread about a "single act"

the OP was punched in the face whilst holding her baby

she doesn't detail any more incidents than that

I wonder, larry, would your advice be to stay and work through it, since it's just a one-off ?

Daffodil, i totally agree with you, there are a handful of mners who do seem to be very embittered and it seems apparent that they are projecting their own painful experiences onto those of others. I've thought that many a time when reading a relationship thread.

And they do seem to pop up on that section on a very regular basis.

I've also never seen advice that says feelings always stay the same adn that marriage should always be about romance.

So out of interest, who exactly are this handful of twisted embittered mumsnetters?

I suspect I am one of them

< sucks lemons >

< files divorce papers >

how remiss of me !

ROFL I love mumsnet.

We're such a monstrous regime aren't we?

Damn, I just started a similar thread . Sorry, didn't see this one.

Apparently I'm stupid for being angry at this stock answer

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1166182-To-get-angry-when-I-see-the-same-old-faces

Oh I've left several twats

I get much angrier about people minimising nasty behaviour under the guise of "that's what men are like" or with a "lighten up, ffs". So, I challenge them and so do others. That's how threads up balanced. Which they do, in the overwhelming majority of cases.

Different opinions, different expectations, different lenses through which we view the world. Are they only wrong because they are not the same as yours?

well, if it makes you so angry, why don't you join the thread and say "no! stay with the twat, you must it's the law!"

but that would be a bit mad, wouldn't it ?

much like your thread, really