when it comes to my partners 8yr old?

[geordiegirl2210]

my partner and i have been together for almost a year and are expecting our first child in june - a daughter.the problem is every fortnight we bicker over the fact that i cannot bond with his 8yr old son.to me i am not this childs mother nor should i be expected to be.i cannot feel for his son the way i do for our daughter.here in lies the problem...my partner said being with us is the closest his boy gets to a real family which is all very well but we will never be that "perfect" family....am i really being unreasonable????please help i am going out of my mind

it seems odd that your partner wants you to bond with his son but doesn't invite you to go out and do stuff with them when his son is staying over. In what way does he think this is giving his son a real family?

Can I suggest you post this in Stepparenting? I have found you get more sympathetic advice from others in the same boat. AIBU often seems a bit contentious iykwim.

Sorry to sound blunt but thems the breaks when you hook up with someone with a child. You either LEARN to accept them and bond with them or find a man with no baggage!

shame you didn't have more time to develop a relationship with the boy before you got up the duff.

TBH why don't you just lie and say you do, or your feelings are developing. No one needs to know that you don't, you should be treating the boy as if you do, so I don't see the difference.

You are not the only one to feel like this BTW.

I have a big family and technically 4 of my DC are step but we never use that word. It sometimesd causes stares when my 6 foot blonde DS1 introduces this short mixed race woman as his mum but who cares we all love each other.

We have had our problems like all familys but never because of the step thing. DD2 and DS1 are joined at the hip but are not blood related DS1 has LD and MH issues and the DC have been supportive but nono more than DD2. We worked hard to build our family and this will take alot of work and sacrifice but in the end it will be worth it I feel truly loved and know they will always be there for us.