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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

have a c section tomorrow and am crying all the time

55 replies

Branno · 04/03/2011 17:04

DD number 1 is almost 4 and was a natural birth. DD number 2 and 4 months and was a natural birth. Have total placenta privia and they want me in early to have a c section. I am 45, terrified and crying all the time. Why?

OP posts:

ledkr · 04/03/2011 17:08

calm down i had my 4th section 5 wks ago at 44 and was and am fine,lovely experience,great bond with baby,pin manageable and home 2 days later,what is worrying you,ask away.

Chil1234 · 04/03/2011 17:08

It's normal to be anxious about a surgical procedure and if it's distressing you this much, talk to your midwife, doctor or obstetric team. Their job is to put your mind at rest and make sure everything goes smoothly. Good luck

OTTMummA · 04/03/2011 17:11

I wanted my section OP, and i still sobbed when i had to go in, it is the unknown i think, that scares us.
You WILL be fine, baby WILL be fine.
Talk to your consultant, or maybe watch a elective section online with a friend/partner there, it really is not bad at all.
Good luck

southeastastra · 04/03/2011 17:12

i had pp too - it's so natural to feel like you do - i cried alot :( but this time tomorrow your baby will be here

gleechie · 04/03/2011 17:12

Ahhh you have nothing to worry about, this is totally normal to feel this way, good luck and this time tomorrow you'l be holding your precious bundle

Best of luck

OTTMummA · 04/03/2011 17:13

Oh, and just to add, the pain was almost non existant, except afterpains etc.
I didn't even finish the prescription i got sent home with as it was just a bit uncomfortable, not painful.

SardineQueen · 04/03/2011 17:13

Hi there I've had 2 sections, first emergency second elective, both were absolutely fine. No difficulties, established BF easily (if that's your thing) and a pretty easy recovery.

What is it you're scared of?

SardineQueen · 04/03/2011 17:14

They give you local anaesthetic before the other needles if that's what you're worried about - look the other way and you'll not be aware they're even doing anything

(Guessing it's the needles - I don't like needles! Tell us what it is you're worried about and we can reasure you )

Original poster

Branno · 04/03/2011 17:15

I think that the idea of a big hand going into my womb and frightening the baby who has no idea what is about to happen is doing it for me every time. I think it must must frighten the life out of them. Has to be done I know that but I wish they could do a little labour so she gets a little bit of a warning.
I know it is silly...

OP posts:

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 04/03/2011 17:16

Best of luck - you'll be holding your beautiful new baby tomorrow!!!!!!!

TuttoRhino · 04/03/2011 17:17

I had an emergency c-section and bounced back really quickly. I've heard recovery from a planned c-section is much quicker. Also established breastfeeding and my milk came in on day 3.

You'll be just fine and the new babe in your arms will take the concerns away very, very soon.

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 04/03/2011 17:18

Totally normal to be scared and stressed. BUT try to think about what it will entail and the (many) positives to the situation.

*You know when it is, so your children will be cared for and there won't be any last-minute panic

*It is being done for your safety, and the safety of your baby

*It won't hurt (massive plus!)

*No tearing - weeing isn't a problem after!

*No fear of last-minute surgery, forceps etc.

*Baby won't come out looking all squished!

I'm always a bit when people suggest this, but Rescue Remedy maybe? OR at least a nice cup of tea, and a chat with DP/good friend/Mum etc.

When you do in, tell them how anxious you are. In my experience, doctors, anaesthetists and midwives who deal with CS are amazing, really the best you can have for being practical and sympathetic to your needs.

Good luck, try not to worry, and remember it is a truly amazing thing that you can have this surgery so that you don't have to risk your health or that of your baby. :)

FourFortyFour · 04/03/2011 17:19

The baby has no idea what is supposed to happen so won't be frightened .

I had an emergency section out of the blue and my advice would be to watch in the other head lights if you are up to it, when they give you the baby make sure they don't lay them across your neck and if you want your partner to tell you the sex of the baby or you to discover it, make sure you tell them more than once.

Also, it will feel like someone is routing about in your handbag but in your tummy and you won't be able to move your legs or feet after but that is normal for a while afterwards.

Flisspaps · 04/03/2011 17:19

Branno no more scary than their nice warm cosy bath suddenly disappearing from around them, and their safe comfy house suddenly squishing them every few minutes until they are eventually squashed through a tiny hole into the bright lights of the world :)

OTTMummA · 04/03/2011 17:21

You could, just before you go in OP, start talking to your bump and let them know they are coming out, i know thats different, but you might feel better about it.

I'm pretty sure that once they are cleaned, wrapped and getting some boob or bottle they won't be too fussed
You sound so sweet and lovely btw, i bet your a great mum!

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 04/03/2011 17:22

And remember your big knickers!

southeastastra · 04/03/2011 17:23

i did a little bit of labouring with my son (pp but not totally covering) and i bled quite alot - it was frightening - so much easier to have pre booked c section. you and your baby will be fine. x

Vallhala · 04/03/2011 17:23

Let me reassure you... if your elective caesar is anything like most it will be a calm, serene experience with any pain managed to the nth degree and carried out in a friendly, relaxed manner. Docs do elective caesars all the time, it's just routine to them the same as driving a car/making a cuppa is to you.

I had a vaginal birth with DD1 and a section with DD2. I'd NEVER have another vaginal birth again but if I could have more children I'd have a section without a worry in the world. It was just like being given a present, all wrapped up in a big bow. And, DD2 was fine too, none of the stress or problems that DD1 suffered during her birth.

Are you having the op under GA or will you be awake?

ledkr · 04/03/2011 17:26

yes i felt like that branno other cs were emergency,i just made it my mission to make it up to her with lots of cuddles a reassrance after,hence one fingered typing as she is currently having skin to skin.

twinky · 04/03/2011 17:26

Branno - sorry to hear you're feeling upset but just wanted to reassure you that it will be fine. Your baby won't be any more upset or frightened than with a natural birth. Just keep telling yourself that it's the safer option for you both and that soon you'll be holding your gorgeous baby. I had an emergency section with my second and it turned out to be a lovely calm, straightforward birth. A complete contrast to the hellish natural birth of my DD! And I recovered much more quickly too. So good luck for tomorrow and we will of course require an update in due course to let us all know what you had!

FabbyChic · 04/03/2011 17:27

Fear of the unknown does that to you, you are scared and that is undestandable.

Try not to be so worried, this should be a joyous occasion. I wish you lots of luck.

catinthehat2 · 04/03/2011 17:27

"I think that the idea of a big hand going into my womb and frightening the baby who has no idea what is about to happen is doing it for me every time"

but its a very skilled & experienced hand which has done it a load of times before, and its attached to someone who's probably also a dad or a mum, and who does this for a living because they love delivering babies alive into our world

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 04/03/2011 17:29

lovely post cat. :)

ledkr · 04/03/2011 17:29

oo yes big knickers for sure,and i can still cough and sneeze even when pg,with no leakage, MARVELOUS.

sybilfaulty · 04/03/2011 17:30

I cried all day before my last one and had had 2 already! I think it is just stress. Once you are in theatre you will be fine. THe baby is born quickly then you get to gaze at her whilst you are stitched up. All good stuff.

This time tomorrow she will be here. Good luck and all the best.

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