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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

have a c section tomorrow and am crying all the time

55 replies

Branno · 04/03/2011 17:04

DD number 1 is almost 4 and was a natural birth. DD number 2 and 4 months and was a natural birth. Have total placenta privia and they want me in early to have a c section. I am 45, terrified and crying all the time. Why?

OP posts:
ledkr · 04/03/2011 17:33

i had a thread on here cos thought i may die.the night of the op i was on mn telling everyone what i had had,ill never forget the lovely responses.

Original poster
Branno · 04/03/2011 17:34

Hells bells ladies - you have all taken the pot off the boil here. Tears are subsiding and I think I will go and clean a cupboard!

Thank you all - really really helped a lot.

OP posts:
justwaitaminute · 04/03/2011 17:35

Branno I know how you feel, I've had three CS, the first two were emergency and the last was elective, I felt the same way as you do with regards to my last CS because it was elective I just felt that the baby wouldn't have any warning,

It was all fine though if at bit strange just sat there in no pain waiting to pop into theatre to have a baby. You will be fine but I do totally understand your concerns.

Imnotaslimjim · 04/03/2011 17:41

I was just like you 3 years ago when having DD. I was booked in the on the friday to have ELCS on the Monday and sobbed all weekend

I didn't stop, at all, until they had the spinal in, and that was only because they sedated me to stop me shaking and crying cos they couldn't get the needle in!

It was a lovely experience, everyone was so understanding and really looked after me and DD. There was really no need for me to be so stressed out and upset

I'm glad to hear you have calmed down a little. I suggest that you go double check your bag, have a nice cuppa and a relaxing bath and get an early night. By this time tomorrow, your DC will be in your arms and it will all be over

holymary · 04/03/2011 17:42

You will hear loads of opinions about ECS. IMO (!) it was truly wonderful...special...painfree...in no time at all you are holding your lovely baby and feeling so happy. Please don't worry. The doctors know what they are doing, and it is better to find out now that a safe delivery will be a CS rather than have to go through natural labour in this case and put your DC in danger.

Lcy · 04/03/2011 17:45

"I think that the idea of a big hand going into my womb and frightening the baby who has no idea what is about to happen is doing it for me every time"

Just to reassure you, I had an elective 3 months a go and DS came out asleep and sucking his thumb. He was breastfeeding before they finished sewing me up. compared to poor DD who was very bruised after a nasty induction he had a lovely arrival.

mummypontipine · 04/03/2011 17:49

please don't cry .it's not nearly as bad as your expecting .i was exactly the same a year ago todaydd4(1 tomorrow) (dc8) was a persistent breech ,was strongly advised to have c section after 6 vb (dd1 had been a cs 17 years earlier ) hadn't even considered c s as a possibility . was devastated didn't want to be in hospital ,terrified of dying etc worried about driving looking after the dcs especially ds4 then just 3 etc .
the whole experience so much better lovely midwife brilliant anaesthesist etc , calmer etc than i expected . i was driving within 2 weeks able to do most things within a week .i have a wonderful bond with dd4 , still bf . last year when i was crying uncontrollably , not sleeping and hospitalized as i was not eating as i was so upset about my impending csection and seriously considered not turning up for the appointment but in the end just couldn't put dd at risk .imo living any distress abot cs would be far easier to bear with dd4 in my arms than living with the regret of loosing dd had a vb not gone to plan .

a year on it is a very distant memory , i've come to realise what is really important is not how they arrive but the fact that we both were safe and well in the end. if we are lucky enough to have dc9 and i was advised again thart cs was the best i would not feel the same anxiety or distress.

good luck and enjoy your new baby .

Bunnynamedstanely · 04/03/2011 17:55

Hi Branno, just wanted to wish you luck. Glad you are feeling a bit better. My twins were delivered by (unplanned) c section. I'd never had any kind of medical treatment before but the staff were so nice I really wasn't scared going in. I didn't even feel the rumaging sensation. I heard a funny noise and one of the staff saw me frown and said 'don't worry it's just a little bit of suction for the fluid' .... I thought oh they must have made the incision then! Next thing I knew there was my lovely DTD looking like she knew just what was going on (not scared at all) and then a few minutes later my lovely big boy howling until he got a cuddle from Mummy. Not a frightening experience for any of us. I would rather have had a natural birth of course but they weren't coming and their safe arrival was the most important thing.

I admit it was painful afterwards but not a scary amount of pain IYKWIM and managable with ibuprofen and paracetamol. I had no problems bonding and I fed them both myself. Good luck again.

giveitago · 04/03/2011 18:02

bRAnNNO it will be fine I had my only child by cc - and best thing for that particular birth too. I'm grateful it was done - I was a complete fearful wreck beforehand and it was fine.

Enjoy your new baby.

cokezone1 · 04/03/2011 18:05

It will be fine. I had 2 sections. One crash with ga and one emergency. The second was obviously better than the 1st as I was awake. However, I do now wish I had a planned section as I would have been in a better position to get my feelings accross. As you are having a planned section you should be able to request more eg seeing baby before wrapped up etc. From a recovery /pain point of view it was fine. Worst pain was afterpains with 2nd.

Katey1010 · 04/03/2011 18:07

I am looking at my beautiful CS baby right now. She was not frightened at all. She is a very calm and happy baby. BFing happened and she knew what she was doing right from the start. I know it's scary (no one told me that I would be shaking the whole way through) but you get a baby. Once you see your LO. you won't care how they got here.

Good luck!

faverolles · 04/03/2011 18:08

Like ledkr, I had my fourth cs a few weeks ago - like you, I was terrified about it, but it was a wonderful experience.
As we (me, DH, 2 mw's and surgeon) were walking the 5 miles to theatre (not really, but felt like it!) I was crying and shaking, the surgeon said that I've done the hard part - the pregnancy - now it was the easy bit, and mentioned that a cs was an easy op to do, and that he'd done hundreds of them - was hugely reassuring at the time.
My new favourite piece of advice for post cs (apart from a feeding pillow) is to have lactulose lined up for the first couple of weeks!(unless it's just me who's affected like that Blush

Good luck for tomorrow - think about holding your new, lovely snuffly baby :)

cheekeymonkey · 04/03/2011 18:12

ECC's are the most calm and peaceful way for a baby to be born. No screaming and swearing from mum, no being squashed through the birth canal. Eyes won't see any 'big hands' coming to get them as they will be closed and surgeon might have small hands. You will be really surprised how nice it is. I would be crying if I thought I had got to go throuhg a natural birth! Enjoy meeting your new baby.Smile

hubbard86 · 04/03/2011 18:43

just thought i'd send some calming thoughts your way. I had a elcs last thurs. The worst part for me was the handover as dh not with me calmed right down as soon as the spinal and dh allowed into theatre. Even though mine went slightly wonky i could not dream of having a better birth as had what happened, happened in labour or post birth i and my baby would not be here.
I was home on the sat with just co codamol. I am now able to do the majority of things. Even lifting my 2yr old ds.

Please just relax and talk dp/dhs ear off about anything thats in your head as talking about it will help organise your thoughts. Big pants, fruit, peppermint tea and a sports bottle of frozen water (will have defrosted by time your down from theatre) will all help post birth

CrapBag · 04/03/2011 18:48

Good luck!

I had to have a CS 4 weeks ago as DD was breech. I had a forceps and 3rd degree tear with DS but still wanted a natural birth. I was really gutted about having to have a CS and was really dreading it, plus I felt bad that there was DD, all happy and not knowing anything then being yanked out into the cold world.

Well, I bloody loved it! It was so calm, I wasn't shattered and had my GPs bring DS (3) to visit 3 hours later. Recovery has't been half as bad as I thought it would, although I am still being slightly careful and it is occasionally a bit sore if I have overdone it, I am allowed to drive again and I was up and about quickly. I rested apart from bits of taking care of DD for the 1st week, then I started going out and that the 2nd week.

If I ever have anymore, I will be opting for another CS.

SardineQueen · 04/03/2011 18:58

Aw what a nice thread Smile

Good luck OP!!!

tigitigi · 04/03/2011 19:02

Hi OP

I had an elective with no 2 following an emergency with No1 - the elective was wonderful, calm, easy and quick - my little girl was happy and calm and in my DH arms before we knew it.

I was up and walking within 12 hours and able to do everything (incl lifting heavy DS1) the next day. Only 2 nights in hospital as well. Good luck and enjoy the your new little baby.

schmee · 04/03/2011 19:04

Just wanted to second what others have said. Good luck with it - how exciting that you will have your baby tomorrow!!!

DilysPrice · 04/03/2011 19:07

Aww, this time tomorrow you'll be googooing at those teeny little fingers, sniffing that new baby smell, and you won't be completely knackered from a 12 hour labour.
All the best.

Harebell · 04/03/2011 19:08

I too was really worried about my elc. The big scary hand thing will not necessarily happen - I had my third child by elc as she was lying sideways. She couldn't be bothered to wake up for it - I was so worried I made the midwives prise her eyes open to prove to me she had some! She is still quite lazy 16 years later.... I had no pain, was up and about as soon as the epidural wore off, looking back it was by far the best birth of the lot and I got a room to myself.

YellowDinosaur · 04/03/2011 19:11

I have had an elective and an emergency section and although I was terrified the first time actually my elective section was a lovely calm birth.

Things that helped me:

I chose the music that was playing when ds2 was born. I asked them to lower the screen so I could see them lifting him out (couldn't see any gory bits so don't worry about that!) then he was passed to me for immediate skin to skin which was lovely.

Afterwards ask for a voltarol suppository - painkiller up the bum. Doesn't sound too great but if they put it in while you are on the table you won't even know and it provides fantastic pain relief.

Get some truely ENORMOUS pants -think nipple huggers at least two sizes above your current size. And a widgey breast feeding pillow (or similar one that is firm and very supportive) - even if you don't want to bf it is great for cuddling your baby and keeping the weight off your scar.

Before you move / cough / laugh / strain for anything (best to avoid straining if poss) push onto your scar until it hurts first - this will support it and these things will be less painful.

You will be fine - Good luck and congratulations on the safe arrival of your lovely baby!

YellowDinosaur · 04/03/2011 19:12

Oh and if everything is straightforward they may let you out the next day - not even 2 nights.

xxx

TheSecondComing · 04/03/2011 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rodformyownback · 04/03/2011 19:23

Hi Branno
I had an elcs 3 months ago. Even though I'd had a previous section I was terrified (1st one was emergency under GA so I didn't really "experience" it). They gave me medicine to stop me throwing up during the op and I threw it straight up!
It was the most peaceful, lovely experience. DS2 didn't seem frightened at all. He is so much more of a relaxed baby than ds1 who I think was traumatised by a very long labour. I was up and about very quickly and had lots of energy to look after my lovely little one.
You will be fine, and so will your lo. Congratulations! This time tomorrow you will be holding your baby!!!!

lubberlich · 04/03/2011 19:30

My son was so massively overdue I begged them for a C-section. After all the stress and anguish of 3 days of fruitless attmepts to induce him the caesarean was wonderful. Calm, quiet and very very happy. A very nice way for my son to come into the world - delivered by a beautiful woman surgeon.
Good luck tomorrow!

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