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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or shallow to put off ttc?

57 replies

carriedababi · 03/03/2011 14:59

i'm 33 atm,34 in the autum

dd is 3.7

we have decided to ttc a second child

tried in feb, no luck, started period today
feel a bit sad, but its made my mind sure thats what i want now, in a weird way

i don' think i want to try next month, as i think i'd find it hard having a xmas baby

don't want to try the month after as we are going abroad end of june and don't fancy being 2 months pg on holiday, as thats when i had serious sickness last time with dd.

so will wait till may or june to ttc again.

do you think this is a bit shallow?
i suppose if we had been ttc for a long time i'd probably carry on regardless
but as we have only just started..

OP posts:
BossGibbs · 03/03/2011 15:01

use condoms?? as to not mess with your system???

Gleekfreak · 03/03/2011 15:03

I have a Christmas baby! Is lovely, makes it v special for the whole family and all put much more effort in! :0

Bogeyface · 03/03/2011 15:04

I can see where you are coming from but there will always be a reason to put it off.

Are you sure that this is actually what you want, and you are not making excuses to not ttc? When I decided to ttc nothing stopped me!

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:04

sorry what do you mean boss?

i mean am i shallow actually trying to avoid a xmas baby, and being 2 months pg on holiday.

OP posts:
Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:05

i'm 99.9% sure now

feel more certain than ever, as i clutch my period pained tummy

OP posts:
Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:06

i wonder why i find the thought of a xmasbaby stressful?

the costs?

the pressurre of xmas?

i wonder whats putting me off a xmas baby so much

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/03/2011 15:06

YANBU... I have a Christmas niece and she hates it. Everyone I know who was born around Christmastime laments the bad planning of their parents. Friends are often too busy or too broke to make much of their birthdays, as 'it's so near Christmas'.

LessNarkyPuffin · 03/03/2011 15:06

I wouldn't waste time if you know that you want another child.

Malificence · 03/03/2011 15:07

How about trying to get pregnant on holiday in June? [smile
If you were really obsessive determined, you could alter your cycle so you would be ovulating. Wink

JarethTheGoblinKing · 03/03/2011 15:07

We're doing exactly the same thing. We have DS who is a November baby and I found the winter months stuck in the house with a newborn very hard so we're putting it off for a couple more months, then with any luck we'll have a spring baby. :) Anything to try and ward off PND second time around..

Maybe this is shallow, I don't know. We may not conceive as easily next time around, things may not work out as planned, and that's fine, but nothing wrong with having a rough plan about these things IMO

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:08

"I wouldn't waste time if you know that you want another child"

but i'm not that old am i?
and there will be a big age gap anyway

so in a way whats the rush?

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 03/03/2011 15:09

Carried - I thought you were going to be suggesting giving it a miss for a couple of years, not a couple of months!! No, it's not really shallow. It's perfectly reasonable to not want babies at certain times of year if you can avoid it, and to not want to be pg on holiday if you can avoid it - at your age, you have that choice (hopefully!) so why not use it?

I wish I had the luxury of being able to take a month off - but I'm just way too old and we have to try every month, just in case, however inconvenient the due date might be (except this one, where I'm pretty sure I didn't ovulate at all :( - but we still had a couple of goes just in case!).

thumbwitch · 03/03/2011 15:10

Oh, and DS was born in early December and it is a bit of a PITA having his birthday and Christmas so close together. So no, I wouldn't have chosen for him to have been a December baby.

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:10

how on earth could i alter my cycles?

jareth, when are you planning on starting to ttc?

OP posts:
southmum · 03/03/2011 15:10

hmm, actually I think you are being shallow a little bit (sorry)

There is always a reason to put off having a baby if you think about it - not wanting to be pg in burning hot summer months, not wanting to have to find warm 'maternity' layers to keep you warm in the winter. Holidays, weddings then before you know it a year has gone by and you are back to having a December baby.

Do you actually want another baby or do you think these are excuses to put it off?

LessNarkyPuffin · 03/03/2011 15:11

I misread and thought you were planning to put it off until next spring Blush

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:12

thumbwicth i didn't know you are ttc.

goood luckSmile

OP posts:
JarethTheGoblinKing · 03/03/2011 15:13

Carrie - I'm going to a festival mid May, so really don't want to be pregnant then Grin

dates permitting, I expect it'll be at the end of May when we're on holiday GrinGrin

In our case it's really not that we're not sure about a second - we're very very sure and it's really difficult not to just get on with things now Wink but for SO many reasons it makes sense just to wait a tiny bit longer.

Malificence · 03/03/2011 15:14

I do it all the time for holidays etc.
You take norethisterone and it delays your period until it's convenient, I've just done it so I'm not due on when we're away next month.
As long as you know your ovulatory cycle it should be easy to work out.

TrillianAstra · 03/03/2011 15:15

You'll not get pregnant anyway if you stress about every little thing like this.

You don't sound desperate to get pregnant, the clock won't be ticking much worse in June than it is now, so relax and do as you like.

It's not as if you have to announce your intentions and timings and reasons to the whole world.

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:15

well the thought of having to buy a maternity winter coat did put me off lol

nah only kidding,

if i got pg may or after i would be happy.

alos a couple more month sof not trying gives me time to save more, as i want to do a fair bit of diy and decorating before a second might arrive

OP posts:
diddl · 03/03/2011 15:16

I´d just get on with it tbh!

My first was due April-born Feb.

2nd due mid Dec, born end Nov.

I have a bday close to Christmas & love it!

Seems as if everyone is gearing up to celebrate my bdayBlushGrin

noodle69 · 03/03/2011 15:16

I am doing this to. Got a weekend away booked for May and then I am TTC straight after. Nothing wrong with it at all. I wouldnt get pregnant if I knew I was going on holiday as you might as well wait til after.

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:17

i don't really personally believe if your stressed you won't get pg

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 03/03/2011 15:18

thanks Carrie! I don't talk about it much, otherwise I'd probably get stressed/depressed Grin and that's kinda counterproductive. Went on a couple of the ttc threads but don't keep up well with them Blush.

(btw - are you Carrie-da-babi, or carried-a-babi, I'm never sure?)