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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or shallow to put off ttc?

57 replies

carriedababi · 03/03/2011 14:59

i'm 33 atm,34 in the autum

dd is 3.7

we have decided to ttc a second child

tried in feb, no luck, started period today
feel a bit sad, but its made my mind sure thats what i want now, in a weird way

i don' think i want to try next month, as i think i'd find it hard having a xmas baby

don't want to try the month after as we are going abroad end of june and don't fancy being 2 months pg on holiday, as thats when i had serious sickness last time with dd.

so will wait till may or june to ttc again.

do you think this is a bit shallow?
i suppose if we had been ttc for a long time i'd probably carry on regardless
but as we have only just started..

OP posts:
Eglu · 03/03/2011 15:18

I don't think it's shallow at all. When we were tryign to conceive DC3 (currently 22 weeks pg), I would not have continued ttc over the time that would have given me a November, December, January baby.

TrillianAstra · 03/03/2011 15:19

I was just being silly about stress = no pregnancy (and definitely wouldn't suggest to anyone who was TTC that the reason they weren't pregnant was because they were stressed).

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:19

if i had an easy pg with dd i'd start trying again april, but as i was sick as a dog, don't fancy being like that on holiday

although aybe next time, ill be one of the ones thaht swan around with a healthy glow rather than crawling around like something from the living dead

OP posts:
Malificence · 03/03/2011 15:21

That was me, sick as a dog for the first four months then raging heartburn for the rest.

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:22

i'm carried-a-babi, hopefully my new nick name would be carryinganotherbabi in a few months!

most folk on here call me carrie thoughSmile

ive only told 2 rl friends
no family
it feels like a massive secret!

OP posts:
brokenmarrow · 03/03/2011 15:23

If you want to compare your shallowness to mine my reason is probably even worse - i am waiting until house extension is done (want a freezer in kitchen as cant be arsed running out to the garage all the time with a 3 year old and a new born) and also until after my sisters wedding as i want to look good and get pissed enjoy myself as matron of honour.

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:24

i think the xmas thing puts me off, as although i love xmas, i do find it a time of high pressure, high expense and a fair helping of stress.
so i think i would personally fine it a bit difficult

OP posts:
Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:25
OP posts:
brokenmarrow · 03/03/2011 15:28

Grin i have put it with pride on my mumsnet mantlepiece

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:30
Grin so when are you going to start ttc?
OP posts:
KaraStarbuckThrace · 03/03/2011 15:30

My DS was born 2 days after xmas, and tbh it is a pita.
But I was desparate to get pg again after a miscarriage.
I am expecting dc2 now, and for the first 12 weeks of this pregnancy I was very ill will with morning sickness.
So I don't think you are being shallow at all.

drivingmisscrazy · 03/03/2011 15:33

I think whatever you want to do is fine; DD is a Jan baby, but we are blessed to have her - and didn't have the luxury of attempting to pick which month!! I think you should bear in mind that lots of people aren't lucky enough to have these kinds of choices (I'm not talking about the OP here).

drivingmisscrazy · 03/03/2011 15:33

ps Jan is good - good pressies in sales Wink

brokenmarrow · 03/03/2011 15:35

my sister's wedding is in december this year so might go get the coil out in november and use condoms for a month or 2 before ttc

it also means 3yr old will be in school with a bit of luck

am slightly worried that have planned this too much and jinxed it !

am 33 btw so similar age

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:38

if your 33, we are the same ageGrin

OP posts:
MaybeTomorrow · 03/03/2011 15:39

My sister has a birthday on 23rd December and hates it. She's always had joint birthday and Xmas presents and no-one EVER went to any nights out/parties she had as they always had other plans. So as a family we always make an effort to be there. She always thinks that I'm so lucky as mine is 22nd June and my DD's is 8th June.

YANBU

brokenmarrow · 03/03/2011 15:41

snap - i will be 34 in nov

my ds is 3 in 3 weeks

do you find a lot of people comment on why you havent had another already ?

i always knew i wanted a bigger gap and am trying to do everything to make the next baby stage as enjoyable as possible

BlingLoving · 03/03/2011 15:48

MaybeTomorrow - that is seriously spooky. Your family shares two birthdays with my family.

I don't think you're shallow at all. And you have time to be like this. Come March next year, if you're still not pregnant you might think, "screw it, I'll take any baby, even a Christmas baby" but right now, you have time and are in no rush. Being pregnant is not fun (am 28 weeks. hate it), so if you have a choice, why not exercise it.

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:55

broken, yes they used to all the time, now most poeple think we are definatley not having another!

i have only ever said not sure, will see etc, i have never said never.
but they have decided im notShock

plus im getting people telling me i will be looking for a job in sept when dd starts school.Shock
when they have no idea what my plans are!

do you get people asking you alot?

yes, if iwas still trying this time next year, i'd probably keep trying even in march.

OP posts:
glasnost · 03/03/2011 15:55

Well, I'm 40 in in a coupla months' time and have a 5 month old baby so as far as I'm concerned you're young OP. Reading between the lines it's obvious you don't want a second just yet and possibly not at all. Who says you HAVETO have another? Is it your OH's idea?

Being pregnant/having a baby is a huge physical and emotional undertaking and shouldn't be entered into halfheartedly.

Original poster
carriedababi · 03/03/2011 15:58

no im pretty sure i do, im 99.9% certain now

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 03/03/2011 16:29

im pretty sure i do, im 99.9% certain now

You see I was definetely definete and 100% all the way. There was no doubt and there shouldnt be in something like this. Perhaps you could put it off for 6 months and see if you are more certain then?

foreverondiet · 03/03/2011 16:35

How would you feel if you waited until June but it took a while so you ended up with an Xmas baby the year afterwards? If this doesn't bother you then wait. Also is this likely to be your last child? Do you mind a longer gap?

diddl · 03/03/2011 16:37

Maybe I´m odd, but once we decided TTC, we just carried on util it happened.

Had now idea that people actually avoided certain months because of when baby might be born.

NestaFiesta · 03/03/2011 16:52

Cautionary tale- We ttc when DS1 was 10 months old. I decided I would get pregnant first month of trying and therefore plan which month I would have DC2. 2.5 years and 3 mcs later, I didn't care what month DS2 turned up. I was only 3 years older than you.

I don't mean to put a dampner on things but there is a saying "people plan, God laughs".