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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel annoyed that dc's school won't let them have time off to do modelling?

145 replies

Lionelvinyl · 03/03/2011 09:36

I asked in advance if we could have some time off in April (2 days) and June (2 days)

I was told that it wouldn't be a problem because I had asked so far in advance/it wasn't for very long/my dc's attendance is very good and they are not behind in any way.

I got a letter today refused the holiday because of the reason for it- I didn't lie about it like most of the other parents do Hmm I was upfront and honest and I wouldn't want to put any pressure on my dc.

In the last term I know children who without any booking have had days off because they've competed in stuff and then been too tired to attend school/been preparing for a holidayHmm/fancied a day off to go shopping/picked up relatives from airports.

I know this has happened it's not just rumour some of these parents and friends of mine and my dc and they've shared this info.

If everybody else was treated the same I wouldn't be so annoyed I just feel like I've been singled out and to make matters worse someone at school has a big mouth because I got a few of the cliquey cronies asking me about modelling/agencies/if I think their children could modelHmmwhich I managed to fob off.

By the way, my dc have done modelling for a while and they've never had to take any time off as it's always been scheduled around term time, this is a one off and something they really want to do- it will be totally different to anything else they've done and I think a brilliant learning experience. (TV)

OP posts:
zingzillachinchilla · 03/03/2011 09:55

Were you expecting the school to grant 'permission' because you were up front and gave them notice? It doesn't matter why you are taking them out of school, or how much notice you give them - they are obliged to respond in this way. YABU to have an issue with the school, they are just following process. As others have said, if it's that important to you, take the unauthorised absence and deal with the consequences. FWIW, I don't consider your reason any different from skiing or beach holidays... and neither will the school.

squeaver · 03/03/2011 09:55

So someone asking to take their children out of school to work in a restaurant or up a chimney or sew football boots would be ok too, would it? So long as they give plenty of notice and ask nicely and are honest?

Yes, the school disagrees with the reason for their absence and quite right too.

Original poster
Lionelvinyl · 03/03/2011 09:55

Senorita.
It is nobodies business but mine and my childrens I don't feel the need to bray about what my children do Grin.

Nobody at the school knew they did it only my family and close friends and I didn't want to discuss it because of the interest negative/positive it generates.

I am annoyed at them for refusing permission for my children to go but not for others to do as they please- I think I should have reworded the title to be fair.

FWIW I won't take them and the scenario has never arisen because all stuff it done in the holidays. We will not be doing the dates.

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 03/03/2011 09:55

I do see your point though about 'allowing for holiday'. IMO the school should take a stance and that should be it. Those parents might have taken them out unauthorised as well though I suppose.

Snowsquonk · 03/03/2011 09:55

You don't actually know that other people have had authorised absences for their holidays - you've been told stuff in the playground - and anyway, policy can change from year to year/head to head. So last year the head may have authorised up to 10 days absence for family holidays, and this year needs to improve the absence rate so isn't going to authorise anything.

Or the head may think that a family holiday is a legitimate reason for an absence whereas modelling isn't - you could ask for a meeting with the head to find out their reason.

Gubbins · 03/03/2011 09:55

There's nothing unfair. The days the other children were too tired to attend school/been preparing for a holiday/fancied a day off to go shopping/picked up relatives from airports would have been unauthorised as well. At our school the only authorised absences are for sickness, doctors/hospital appointments and funerals. Did you really expect the school to say anything different?

But what's the problem? It makes no difference to your children whether their days off are authorised or not. If you think it's more important for them to be modelling than for them to be in school then that is entirely up to you, you just can't expect the school to agree.

foreverondiet · 03/03/2011 09:58

YABU, its not an essential absence.

We are taking the DC (reception and year 2) out of school for a family wedding abroad, they are bridesmaid/page boy and school said ok - they are missing 4 days which I thought was the minimum for a 5 hour flight.

We had to agree to do educational things eg museums on the other days.

BUT if school had said no we would have taken them off anyway, its DH's cousin and they are very close. If they had been older we would have probably cut down the trip to 2 days off school.

Original poster
Lionelvinyl · 03/03/2011 09:59

Breathslowly- thank you for that.

My dc works very hard and we are very blessed that academically they appear to be very bright despite some hard times early on my dc also has a disiblilty so knows all about not being perfect.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 03/03/2011 09:59

They are 6 you say?

Bless.

Grin
Acanthus · 03/03/2011 10:00

It doesn't really natter though, does it. The school are saying they don't agree with your opinion that they should authorise this absence and it will go down as non-authorised. You're still going to do it.

rightpissedoff · 03/03/2011 10:01

at op

elphabadefiesgravity · 03/03/2011 10:01

Its not holiday and you should not be requesting it as holiday.

You need to fill in a performance licence application form and sent it to your local authority Education Welfare Officer. Some Local authorities contactthe school themselves to sort out the time off. if you live in an area where you have to send a school letter with the licence application then write to the school stating that you wish to request time off for a performance(modelling) under the Children (Performance) Regulations 1988 (I might have the date wrong but it will be printed onthe top of Part A of the licence form which you can usually download from your LEA website.

If the school still refuse send in the application anyway with an explanatory note and say that you wish to appeal this due to your child not being behind attendance being good etc.

The only reason a school can refuse under the regs is if they beleive that it will be to the detriment of the chile (eg they are already behind or would be missing statutory exams etc.

Original poster
Lionelvinyl · 03/03/2011 10:02

PMSL at line the pockets of the parents- what a crock of shit.

Thanks for your feedback.

I will take it up with the school but they won't take the time off.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 03/03/2011 10:03

Fwiw. My dcs never take time off school for holidays.

The reason we took them out for 1 days was because it was a very rare opportunity for us to take ds2 and dd away together. We were offered the opportunity to stay in Paris along with match tickets and the tickets we provided in part as an opportunity to take ds2 who has severe special needs to an international match. He has coped with matches in England and shows signs of understanding an enjoying the rugby.

The tickets offered and the hotel accommodation included staying in the hotel with the French rugby team and meeting some players and ex players. We were encouraged by ds2s school that he must go if possible as it was a fantastic opportunity for him.
Had we been able to leave dd in England we perhaps would have done so but firstly it seemed unfair and secondly we could not find anyone who could have her for the whole weekend.

So, it may have been a 'sporting event' but I would defy anyone to tell me that the loss of one day of school for dd, which she spent climbing the eiffel tower, visiting the mused d'orsay, ordering her own lunch, travelling on the metro etc etc , was wrong.

elphabadefiesgravity · 03/03/2011 10:04

I'm just wondering actually if you have a 6 month licence for modelling already granted.

if sop that should state whether any time off is allowed (there is usually a limit of so many days in a certain time frame.)

If it is granted then you just need ot inform the school and send them a copy of the licence.

if the licence states time off not required then you need to apply again as per my post above.

MaryThornbar · 03/03/2011 10:04

Lionelvinyl you seem to be ignoring everyone who says about getting a license - have you done this? If so, there shouldn't be a problem should there??

winnybella · 03/03/2011 10:07

Frankly, I don't see what the problem is. They are 6, fgs.
All the people on here saying it's wrong to take the child out of school during term time- really? 2 days of school missed for 6 yo- come on, how exactly is it going to harm their education?

Original poster
Lionelvinyl · 03/03/2011 10:08

But Winny I will get rich off the back of my disabled dc! Grin

OP posts:
MaryThornbar · 03/03/2011 10:09

any why would you 'fob off' other parents and not give them the details of your DCs modelling agencies?

MaryThornbar · 03/03/2011 10:10

sorry and not any

elphabadefiesgravity · 03/03/2011 10:10

Lionel I repeat again

HAVE YOU APPLIED FOR A LICENCE?????

Original poster
Lionelvinyl · 03/03/2011 10:14

Elpha, I am really sorry I didn't see your first post.

No we don't and have never needed to, I don't wish to get one just to prove the point to the school.

And the mothers/families I know about are friends of mine and my dc and I have heard this straight form their mouths and I have seen them clutching their forms and taking them in- so the absences have been authorised!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lionelvinyl · 03/03/2011 10:16

Mary- because I denied that my children do any of it and don't share this info (until with the school).

I made that mistake once and got the up and down look at my dc on their faces with with accompanying

"Well if your dc can do modelling then mine could do it no problem" in front of my child. Nice.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 03/03/2011 10:17

Clutching forms and taking them in does NOT mean they were authorised. It just means they applied.

Bramshott · 03/03/2011 10:17

"I don't wish to get one just to prove the point to the school"

It seems to me that this is less about wanting your kids to model and have a particularly great experience than taking a pot-shot at the school and the other parents who have been given permission to take their kids out for whatever reason.

If the standard way to request an absence from school for a modelling assignment is to get a licence, then why would you not do it Confused?