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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my SiL delusional?

56 replies

kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/03/2011 08:06

She phoned this morning to let DD know that her cat who died last week was being cremated today. DD had already gone to school so I got the full 15 minutes sobbing.
She lives alone, is somewhat eccentric and told me the only thing she had left of the cat were the birthday and christmas cards he had sent her.
I've seen these, they say to Mummy from Patch. I know the cat couldn't write, but just hmmed and ahhhed along.
She is a bit bonkers conkers isn't she?

OP posts:
ddubsgirl · 03/03/2011 08:09

no,she loved her pet,to her it was a part of her family,of course she will be upset

KaraStarbuckThrace · 03/03/2011 08:11

Aww show her a bit of sympathy!
Pre kids, my cat was my baby substitute.

Now he is a furry annoyance. I would still be devastated if anything happen to him.

onceamai · 03/03/2011 08:12

She sounds lonely and in need of a bit of support and empathy. It I were cremating our youngest DS (the black and white one) I would be heartbroken too!!

ObiWan · 03/03/2011 08:12

'I know the cat couldn't write, but just hmmed and ahhhed along.'
That's so funny - almost as though you're allowing that there might be cats out there who can write... just not your SILs Grin.
And yes, a bit bonkers, but in a harmless sort of way.

curlymama · 03/03/2011 08:13

Women that live alone with cats are often slighty eccentric ime.

Bucharest · 03/03/2011 08:14

She sounds like me before I embraced maternity.

I wouldn't have cremated though.

Try the acid test for eccentricity...does she dribble soup on her cardigans? And have wild greying hair? And still wear clothes with fringey bits?

ajourneyofgiraffes · 03/03/2011 08:17

Bucharest, out of curiosity (unintended cat pun) why wouldn't you have cremated?

EmmaBGoode · 03/03/2011 08:17

She sounds lovely! I wish I had a sister like that Smile

Bucharest · 03/03/2011 08:22

giraffes- I've got a icky thing about cremation (have already left very explicit instructions that I want a nice box, in the ground, with lots of lovely flowers) The whole burning thing is just too final for me. (I mean, I know death, even of puddies, is final, but it seems a bit abrupt somehow.)

DerangedSibyl · 03/03/2011 08:24

Shutchaface

I had my beloved cat cremated and I cried for MONTHS.

I was not a childless spinster either.

Original poster
kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/03/2011 08:41

Bucharest. Do you know her? She does shop in charity shops which is fine, but buys things for DD and gives them to her without them being washed. They always smell really musty and DD just accepts them graciously and we leave them outside a shop as we drive past one.
I am not sure what she wanted my DD to say TBH.

OP posts:
lesley33 · 03/03/2011 08:46

My dad was devastated when their cat died. I have never seen someone so upset over a pet. And before they had their cat, he was the type of person to think someone was a bit bonkers for being like this over a cat.

OTheHugeManatee · 03/03/2011 08:47

I cried and cried when Evil Bastard Rescue Cat died. Poor your SIL - if she's on her own then losing her cat will be a major blow.

Pets don't talk, so non-pet-people sometimes don't get how much company and friendship they can provide, just being around. And you may say pah, but I do believe it's possible to be friends with something that's a different species to you.

She does sound a bit dotty about the cards, but in a nice way.

ScaredOne · 03/03/2011 09:05

I cried a lot when my rabbits died too. They do become part of your family. An if she is alone she needs someone to give her a hug so don't be mean to her.

I do think writing cards from your pet is utterly weird though! I have seen a christmas card section last year labeled 'to and from your pet'. Hahaha.

But even though she is weird in that respect she deserves some sympathy.

purplepidjin · 03/03/2011 09:09

My PFB died yesterday. I am devastated - he was my first pet as my parents don't like them and said "When you're 18 and have a home of your own you can do as you damn well please" so I damn well did.

DP is also devastated - he thinks animals indoors are disgusting. As is my dad who loathes and detests the little shit monsters - in fact, I think it might be the second time I've ever known my dad to cry, the first being the death of his father Hmm

southmum · 03/03/2011 09:11

ahhhh, my cat was 23-ish when she had to be pts last year. She was my only friend when I was growing up as I was bullied very badly.

I still have a cry for her now. She never sent me any cards though Sad

2rebecca · 03/03/2011 09:13

Sending a card to yourself pretending you are its "mummy" is bizarre, the being upset about it's death isn't.
Expecting to weep on the phone to a child about the death of a pet sounds a bit selfish. It sounds a good job she had gone to school.

thefurryone · 03/03/2011 09:18

She must be really upset, I was totally devestated when the RL furryone was run over, she was only 2 1/2 and such a lively wee thing. She didn't send me cards but she did provide me and DH with companionship and giggles, I really miss her.

Your SIL just needs some sympathy it's never nice to be grieving alone.

Deciduousblonde · 03/03/2011 09:21

I agree with 2rebecca.

Sending yourself cards is bizarre..harmless (I guess) but still bizarre.

However losing a pet is always upsetting. I still have a lil weep over my long dead cats sob

holyShmoley · 03/03/2011 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva · 03/03/2011 09:27

Definitely a bit of a loon - I always find it odd that people call themselves Mummy to a pet when they aren't, but then I suppose you don't want to say 'come and let your owner give you a kiss'. Thinking about it that's even more odd! That said, she sounds like quite a character, cardies and all and that is definitely better than someone dull!

Original poster
kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/03/2011 09:37

The cat died last week, we had the phone call about that when DD was in bed, SiL was hysterical and demanded we got DD up. I was less than understanding, but DH calmed her down and asked her to phone the next day.
SiL did phone the next day and there were tears and snot from her on the phone while DD held the receiver away from her head. SiL asked DD to send her a condolence card that she'd made.
She is a very peculiar person who does have a live in partner. Sometimes.

OP posts:
Original poster
kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/03/2011 09:37

Sorry, SiL asked DD to make her a condelence card and send it to her.

OP posts:
MissVerinder · 03/03/2011 09:45

Odd as a bottle of chips Smile but that's what makes us interesting.

2rebecca · 03/03/2011 09:54

Why is she wanting your daughter on the phone about her pet so much?
Wanting to drag her out of bed sounds very selfish. She shouldn't be seeking consolation from a child.
I can't think of anything (apart from a fire in their house) where I would insist my brother drags one of his kids out of bed. Most things can wait until the morning.
My late night weepy relative phone calls are usually fuelled by alcohol anyway and I wouldn't want my kids subjected to a pissed phone caller.

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