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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not believe dd2's teacher??

57 replies

booneymooney · 01/03/2011 10:22

DD2 came home from nursery yesterday and said that she had been put in the quiet corner because she had broken the whiteboard. Fair enough i though so told her no treats today and she needs to be more careful at school, asked her to tell me what happened and she said she was playing a game on the whiteboard (linked up to a computer so they can play games) and put too many pillows on the bed and it broke. She said her teacher took her over to the quiet corner and told her to turn the timer over and stay there untill the sand ran out.

So she didnt brake the whiteboard she broke a bed in a game??? DD2 has never made up a story and never been in the quiet corner before so i thought i'd ask what happened when i went in today.

I said "oh *** was very upset yesterday as she broke the board and was put in the corner did someone fix it or does it need replacing?" teacher said she didnt know what i was talking about and asked another teacher and they just shrugged. As soon as i said about the quiet corner she said oh we wouldnt do that but ive seen them put naughty children in their before. It was the same teacher that dd said put her in there

I know it's no biggie and should just forget about it but i know dd didnt make it up as she would have confused herself and the story was the same the whole time.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 01/03/2011 10:29

If the teacher said outright she didn't do it, I'd be inclined to believe her. I can see no reason why she would deny it?

BuntyPenfold · 01/03/2011 10:31

I think the moment has passed.

I would have said something like "Well, I have seen you put naughty children in the quiet corner." if you are sure that is what does happen, to see what their response was.

But I am a believer in honesty, which can become confrontation. Teachers lying really gets my goat.
Nursery age children do learn to make up stories though; how old is your DD?

Original poster

booneymooney · 01/03/2011 10:33

Oh i won't say anything else as i know theres no point buy im just abit annoyed about it. DD is nearly 4.

OP posts:

notanumber · 01/03/2011 10:38

I don't see why the teacher would lie - why would she?

It would make more sense if she was lying about your DD doing something (breaking the bed/whiteboard? ) that she didn't to explain the punishment.... Though this would also be crazy and I don't know any teachers who would do this but it would at least be logical.

worraliberty · 01/03/2011 10:42

Perhaps your daughter saw another child being put there and made up it was her for a bit of sympathy? It's not unheard of for the little blighters to try it on

BooyFuckingHoo · 01/03/2011 10:47

some children tell stories. when they come home from school they feel they need to reconnect with mum/dad/whoever so they manufacture a scenario that requires interaction/attention/affection/sympathy etc.

i would believe the teacher.

it could also be that when your DD broke the bed in the game she assumed she would eb in trouble for it and invented her own punishment as she imagined her teacher would do.

blueberryboybaitonSafari · 01/03/2011 10:48

My DD told me yesterday she had to sit in the book corner because she was horrid to the new girl and her teacher told her to stop being unkind. I spoke to her teacher the this morning and discovered, DD had seen another boy get told off for not sharing and being unkind, there is a new girl starting tomorrow and they talked about it in circle time and DD sat in the book corner because she said was tired! All this got turned into the story got told!!

worraliberty · 01/03/2011 10:48

And I'm thinking when the teacher said 'oh we wouldn't do that' she probably meant they wouldn't do it for such a trivial reason.

vmcd28 · 01/03/2011 10:49

There's a danger here of being in the "my child just wouldn't make up stories" situation. I've been there many times!

Original poster

booneymooney · 01/03/2011 10:51

I'm pretty sure dd wouldnt have told me if she made it all up as she would know there would also be punishment at home ( no dummy all afternoon and no treat) i was just getting a vibe off the teacher and she looked away when she told me.... I'm not bothered atall about dd going to the corner if she was naughty but it's annoyed me that the teacher denied that they even do that.

OP posts:

BooyFuckingHoo · 01/03/2011 10:53

well if the teacher has lied, she isn't going to admit it if you aske her again so i dont think bringing it up will acheive anything. just keep an eye on your DD and if you have any more concerns them speak to teh teacher.

mrsbacchus · 01/03/2011 12:56

when my nephew was 4 he was collected from nursery by grandma and launched into a very convincing story about the white sticker on his jumper being a naughty sticker which he been given for fighting with another boy and how unfair it was as other boy didn't get given a sticker as well and he had started it, blah blah. Cue one irate grandma about to march back in to see what had happened when luckily she put her glasses on first and noticed sticker was actually the price sticker from the bag of sweeties she had just given pfb grandchild. Little children do make up stories.

TryingVeryHard · 01/03/2011 13:04

Ha ha mrs bacchus that's hillarious
So is 4yo the age of little lies?
I was wondering about that, as my DS (2.5yo) is already fibbing - if I ask him who spilled the milk he'll say it wasn't him! (although I saw him do it)

TryingVeryHard · 01/03/2011 13:08

Sorry I should take that back, they're not really lies are they, they're little stories... :)

ArfurBrain · 01/03/2011 13:19

oh goodness. 4 year olds say all kinds of things. they are not lying per se, it is just that often they are trying out different realities for size.
Sometimes it is just that their interpretation of a situation is wrong!
If you get too caught up in engaging with this stuff, you may encourage them to do more, bigger, to get our attention.
If there is a problem at school, teachers will let you know.
If your child seems particularly upset about a situation, that is the time to take your concerns to a teacher.

notanumber · 01/03/2011 13:21

How is the name of feck does one break a bed by putting too many pillows on it? Unless they're made of lead, I suppose. And whitebooards are pretty hard to break unless you smash the screen with something....

I just can't make the misdemeanors themselves make any sense at all.

Are you sure your DD isn't just having a litle fantasy?

Dropdeadfred · 01/03/2011 13:24

do you think sh may have got upset or angry about the game? and perhaps been told to sit in corner until calmed down? (therefore to her she was told to sit there because of the game)

schmee · 01/03/2011 13:26

I posted on here about a year ago because my little boy had said that a teacher grabbed him at school. Some people said that he might be making it up because of his age (3 and a half at the time). It was investigated and he wasn't.

Recently he told me he'd been scratched by another child and the teacher told me, and him, that he'd made it up. I still believe him, and the fact that the same child dug his nails into him leaving big marks two weeks later bears out that he was telling the truth.

Yes, kids make things up, but sometimes adults who are supposed to be caring from them count on that.

schmee · 01/03/2011 13:27

sorry "for them"

monstermissy · 01/03/2011 13:29

One of my friends takes what her dd says as law all the time lol, she is 4 in August and it always makes me chuckle that she dosnt think she may be telling tall tales at any point. Always fun to see the truth out and my friend look so confused but then she is the pfb. Children dont always tell the truth and although might not be purposly lying just involved in their own little story the truth can get lost.

KatieWatie · 01/03/2011 13:43

Totally not relevant to your problem but I'm intrigued by the whiteboard/bed thing.

Were they using the whiteboard as a bed base and lying on it? In which case I can see that that could possibly break it but they're only 4 ffs! So I'm assuming they also had lead pillows.

Or were they drawing a picture of a bed on the whiteboard and told to only draw 2 pillows on it, and your DD drew 3 pillows and the teacher said that had broken it and she'd lost the game?

schmee · 01/03/2011 13:45

Agree that children do make things up but I'm glad that I believed my son when he said that his teacher did something to him. My rationale for asking the school to investigate it further was that if I didn't support him now, how could I expect him to come to me in the future if someone in authority was hurting him in anyway.

I tend to know when it's a tall tale.

Not that I'm perfect - the other day I thought he was making it up about feeling sick (which he regularly says) until he vommed all over the school carpark.

Pagwatch · 01/03/2011 13:48

It isn't a big deal, I would let it go.

I don't get the thing about punishing a child more at home though if school/nursery have already dealt with it.
Did she really tell you that she had been in trouble and you said ' oh, thanks for owning up. Have another punishment'
That always boggles my head like this .

EleanorJosie · 01/03/2011 13:49

DD1 when she was two and a half told a nursery teacher, when asked if a particular item of clothing was hers, she said "Yes, Granny bought the cardigan for my birthday" so the teacher put it on her and she came home in it. IT WAS A TISSUE OF LIES

She is five now and quite truthful, but it did make me laugh, and slightly worried about her being so convincing a liar at that age, at the time!

Pagwatch · 01/03/2011 13:52

Dd phoned the police and told them that mummy was lying on the floor bleeding from the head. When they asked her what her name was she told them she was 'Maisy *** ' who was a girl in her class.

We only realised when the local police sent two van fuels of police and surrounded the house.

Tell again children don't fib

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