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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be OFFENDED by this (smoking and pregnancy)

108 replies

nannyl · 28/02/2011 09:31

I have recently moved 250miles to live with OH from hampshire to Yorkshire.

I get the impression there are so many more smokers on yorkshire than down south

I dont smoke.... NOT ONE of my down south friends smoke and NONE of my family smoke. I dont think i even know any smokers, (ie friends friends, who we may meet at weddings / parties)

OH doesnt smoke, but most of his family do.
Most of OHs friends who we see socially, we met through his running club are fit runners who also dont smoke.
I work in an independant school, and i dont know of any of the staff that smoke (clearly never would in school grounds) but i do know for sure that no member of staff in my dept (pre-prep) smoke.
It is rare for me to be with a lot of smokers.
I am completley anti smoking as is OH.

Anyway last night it was OH brothers birthday and we went out for a surpise birthday meal with lots of their friends... (most of whom are much nearer 20, where as me and OH are more 30!)
Anyway OH and I were the ONLY non-smokers there.. (and they all had numerous fag breaks, every 20 - 30 mins Shock, I have no problem with them smoking outside where i dont have to breath it)

So it was apparent that we are the only non-smokers... and now i get to the bit that makes me cross

One of the mid twenities guys came in and said to me in front of everyone, quite seriously " Have you not considered smoking while pregnant so you have a smaller baby and easier birth?" Shock
Told him in no uncertain terms that there is no way id be smoking to get a small baby, and in doing so id be trying to KILL my baby. Went off on one as to why on earth would anyone want to kill their child or make them ill on purpose?

I really went off on one.... (but i am 12 weeks pregnant and it was the 1st time "killing my baby on purpose" has ever even entered my head.)

so was i U?
To go off on one to some smokers who i have never met before?

OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 28/02/2011 11:02

Scots babies smoke whilst in utero, this is a fact. And they come out wearing one of those joke Tam O'Shanters with the fake ginger hair attached.

bupcakesandcunting · 28/02/2011 11:03

Yorkshire babies come out wearing flat caps, clutching a greyhound betting slip and a puppy Whippet. And a pack of B&H, obviously Wink

nickytwotimes · 28/02/2011 11:03

that is true about the smoking in the womb.

fair smarted on the way out.

nickytwotimes · 28/02/2011 11:04

pity our poor southern friends - imagine passing a yacht and a bottle of pimms.

wigglesrock · 28/02/2011 11:10

I'm in NI, talk about smokers Grin, forget the Mothercare vouchers we're all looking for B&H ones Grin PS I think he was taking the piss, besides I've had 3 children, baby 1 was by far the smallest and the feckin' sorest and longest labour, the next two were bigger and shot out!! Oh and shock horror that a bunch of people in their twenties all smoke, I did, most of my friends did, then I stopped, when I reached the more mature age of 30!! (apart from the sneaky ones but they don't count if you smoke someone elses, that's still the rule isn't it?)

Bogeyface · 28/02/2011 11:11

oh blimey, it was obviously a joke and if your post here is anything to go by, I can imagine you sat there with a face like a cats arse everytime someone had a fag break so he decided to needle you.

If you have just moved up there and this is your way of trying to intergrate yourself with your OH's family and social circle, way to go! You just alienated most of them on one evening. Result! :o

Get over yourself and get a sense of a)humour and b) perspective. No one like a self righteous snob.

weegiemum · 28/02/2011 11:13

I get mixed up on a regular basis

I read "Its grim oop North" and think "but Inverness is quite nice really and the West coast beaches are amazing and ..... oh yes Blush"

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 28/02/2011 11:13

You've been completely wound up - that's a line straight out of Viz Top Tips.
I'm with the other poster who said the same - you've got right on their tits and they've decided to wind you up. And you fell for it.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 28/02/2011 11:20

OP, YANBU.

I am anti smoking. did smoke from 13 - 18 and quit as soon as I fell pregnant with DD.

My FIL is now dying from stomach, gullet and throat cancer. He smoked 50 a day for 80% of his life and he is paying the consequences.

Smoking will and does kill people and if people are foolish enough to continue on a suicide mission then more fool them.

OTOH, I think the north/south class divide you have made a point of is completely irrelevant.

bronze · 28/02/2011 11:21

"it was obviously a joke"

I would have ranted sworn shouted and generally made a tit of myself and of him. but then my daughter was born weighing 2lb 12 with a 5% chance of survival and it wasn't fucking funny

BuzzLiteBeer · 28/02/2011 11:25

Unless you smoked 20 a day bronze I'm not sure what that would have to do with anything?

Bogeyface · 28/02/2011 11:31

But it was a joke intended to bring the judgemental OP down off her high horse, bronze. Not to take the piss out of low birth weight babies.

Not sure I see your point tbh!

vmcd28 · 28/02/2011 11:32

The point really isn't anything to do with whether smoking is right or wrong, and has even less to do with geography!
The guy said something on a night out, where everyone except you had possibly been drinking. I can't believe for a second that this would have been said as a helpful piece of advice (even if he thinks it's true) in those circumstances.

Tbh, I don't get why it offended you. He sounds like a dick but you're NOT smoking while pregnant, so why get offended?

JoanofArgos · 28/02/2011 11:38

It's quite telling that you refer to it as a fag 'break' at a social event! Wink

MogadoredMemoo · 28/02/2011 12:40

That's just what its up ere in the north.

We smoke when pregnant and give our newborns gin on their dummy to make em sleep, We don't even buy cots, we use an old draw instead.

rosie1979 · 28/02/2011 13:50

oh blimey, it was obviously a joke and if your post here is anything to go by, I can imagine you sat there with a face like a cats arse everytime someone had a fag break so he decided to needle you

Bogey that has made me properly belly laugh - sums it up perfectly!

I was a heavy smoker in my 20's gave up 5 years ago. Most of my friends smoked, some still do. And I am in the home counties shock horror

I do not live in a "cul-de-scac" tho Wink

WeeScotsLass · 28/02/2011 13:53

Yorkshire, eh? Did you know that the people of Yorkshire make Yorkshire puddings so's they can build affordable housing?

TheSecondComing · 28/02/2011 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabbyChic · 28/02/2011 14:02

Have you never considered where the government would get the tax from if people did NOT smoke?

Do you know that for every packet of fags purchased the government gets £4.00.

When you are in an NHS hospital why don't you realise that the majority of that hospital is paid for out of smokers tax!

Get off your horse.

Yeah the guy was an asshole and should have been shot down, but smokers are not scum of the earth.

TrillianAstra · 28/02/2011 14:04

I highly doubt anyone is smoking and thinking "well, I'd really rather not be killing myself like this but the government needs the tax so I'll do it for the greater good"

hymie · 28/02/2011 14:05

Its obvious those up t'north have a better sense of humour

begonyabampot · 28/02/2011 14:08

I'd move back down south to smokefree land. you're not going to have much fun if every time you go out in company they keep legging it outside most of the night for a fag break. Also any dos or dinners in folks hooses will involve copious amounts of eau de fag being wafted over you - escape now whilst you can, lass!

RumourOfAHurricane · 28/02/2011 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

saffy85 · 28/02/2011 14:32

I definately think he was winding you up OP. Don't blame him if you were sitting there with cats bum mouth at him and his friends smoking. He wanted a rise and hey presto he got it Grin He'll be taking the piss out of you for ages now I bet.

saffy85 · 28/02/2011 14:33

See I've x-posted. Oops. Smile

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