to be fed up with MARKS & SPENCER security staff following me

[Iamnotashoplifter]

I have decided to stop shopping at my local Marks & Spencer store due to the intimidating security staff following me everytime I am shopping there. I have no idea what I am doing to attract their attention but clearly they have singled me out as a potential shop lifter, I find their behaviour very intimidating. This is not an experience I have had at any other supermarket. I know some of you will say but if you are not stealing anything why let it bother you, these security men are blatant in the way they watch you to the point that other shoppers notice. Maybe its because I take my own carrier bags which is what M & S have encouraged us to do,whatever the reason for being followed everytime I've had enough and won't be giving M & S my business anymore, AIBU?

Op are you wearing a Breton top?
Maybe the security guards aren't up on style trends.

I have an (unfortunately) MASSIVE handbag and every time I go into the shops the security always suspiciously peer at it, as if it's crammed with stolen goods.

This happened to me when I was a student, in Dixons. It was my boyfriend's birthday and I didn't have a clue what to get that year, but he was a techy sort, and this was pre-internet so I was looking around trying to find inspiration. I was being stared at and stared at, and I knew what they were thinking but sod it, I thought, I'm not bloody shoplifting I'm just dithering, which is not against the law.

And then one of them actually pointed at me, to his boss-type and they both stared at me, and then blokey one walked past me, almost shoving me and said "hello, madam" very loudly.

I left. But I had to get it that day and in the event realised I would have to go back and get one of the things I'd seen.

I walked back in. Manager was by my side in seconds. I explained that I was looking for something for my boyfriend's birthday, didn't know what to get, and could I have a closer look at X. I think I even bought the damn thing in the end. But I was shaking all the way home, there was no MN to vent on, and I resolved they'd never get my custom again. Actually they do sometimes but not if I can avoid it.

Verity I imagine they do a cost analysis and have decided that it's cheaper to do obvious security than pay to have unobtrusive.

I have no idea which is more effective, but I do know which one pisses off the shoppers less!

Having worked for m&s years ago I can advise many many professional shoplifters used prams often with dolls!! Easy to carry easy to store etc
sad but true!!

My poor OH worked at Kilburn M&S when he came out of the army. He couldnt find a job so had to do security work (no, they didnt treat them like heros in 1992 either). He was always getting bitten and spat at and kicked and feck knows what.
No point following anyone round the shop in Kilburn, just rugby tackle every third person as they leave...

As Tee2072 said, I'd imagine these in your face security people are there to discourage shoplifters rather than catch folk after the act which would probably be more of a pain to deal with.

Is that what I said?

maybe not Tee, lol. I thought the point you were making was that these security officers were being deliberately obtrusive - and not just crap at being sneakily obtrusive.

No I think they are crap at their jobs, actually!!!

Maybe the store's theory is that to be obvious is to stop shoplifting, but I have a vague memory, from when I worked in that posh department store, that research showed just the opposite.

I think if I was being followed every time I went into a particular store I would be sorely tempted to head straight for customer services and ask them to summon security. Then say "come I'm here now, make sure you can keep up"

Its true, it does happen a lot more when you've got the pram with you. I quite like to go round and round one set of shelves when I'm being followed by security, I find that makes it much more difficult to work out who's following who.
The really rubbish thing is that while they are harrassing us the real shoplifters are clearing the place out.

One day i was in Boots examining the (expensive) hair clip-in extensions. I stepped back - straight onto the security guards toes!! Now i feel so embarrassed when i see him that i know i look guilty. If he's bored he follows me so i just say hello and smile. I dress smartly and spend lots in there but i tend to get followed in stores - maybe because i'm on strong meds and can look a bit 'out of it' at times? Not sure..

The same thing happened to me in M&S, every time I went in, it was always the same bloke who would follow me. After the 3rd or 4th visit I left the store, came home and called them and spoke to the manager complaining about it. I was really quite upset about it. I really makes you question the way you look etc. They apologised and offered me a free cup of coffee the next time I went in. I never took them up on the offer, because I never went back to that M&S again.

I have every sympathy, as this happened to me 10 years ago in a well known supermarket (orange letters). I complained about the guard after I had tried to ignore him every time I visited the place. Saw manager who apologised and gave me a shopping voucher too - guard wouldn't attend the meeting. Since then I have always had odd things happen to me - peolple banging into me, guards walking right past me, alarms being rung as I go into or out of a store, being followed whilst visiting shopping areas, people following me closely only wearing one earphone whilst trying to appear as though they are not listening but obviously are, odd couples talking loudly closely behind me as I queue to pay for all my purchases, people with rucksacks (yes!) - to change their clothes? Walking up to & past me, or following behind me as I walk toward the exit of a shop, two car engines being started at the same time as I exit a shop I could go on with more stuff. Paranoid? I don't think so. I have complained but it doesn't seem to change the harassment of me.
I think it's entertainment for them in their f***d up lives. It has not let up either :(

I enjoy a game of wind up security! I've noticed it happens more now I've let my hair go grey and have my toddler in tow. Or maybe there is more security locally now?
I used to work in retail. I know with my larger (changing) bag I am a little suspicious and my baggy clothing. But if I notice a security guard paying close attention (rare with a toddler to monitor) I do a lot of fake furtive glances or staring at security cameras. I've even slid stuff under a bag in the pushchair but of course I always pay, whilst ignoring the disappointed security guard slinking away.
Saying that loads of women with children do shoplift.
Also the game I play some shoplifters enjoy playing it "properly and actually stealing, A buzz I suppose.

Maybe IABU shopping in Asda, but whenever I use the self serve there, the staff seem to hover behind me to ensure I pay for a carrier bag. Anyone else have this? Ugh, annoying AF

ZOMBIE THREAD
ZOMBIE THREAD
ZOMBIE THREAD

I hope the security guards have stopped following the op since it was 6 years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!

Careful, if you justifiably complain about the bad behaviour of a security guard who follows you around the store plus deliberately behaves in an intimidatory manner towards you at a major supermarket EVERY time you shopped . I rightly complained to the store manager who apologised to me. Since then I have, believe it or not subjected to a deliberate and well organised group who are deliberately trying to intimidate me. My car and reg and other family members cars seem to be known to them. I have met with my MP, I have contacted the police. Nothing has changed.

I’ve enjoyed the zombie thread

But Poogy some of the occurrences you have mentioned sound like normal everyday things? People wearing rucksacks, talking in queues and more than one car starting at the same time are all completely normal things

Poogy do you have proof of a group of people trying to intimidate you? Are your friends and family aware of what’s happening?