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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up with MARKS & SPENCER security staff following me

96 replies

Iamnotashoplifter · 26/02/2011 19:05

I have decided to stop shopping at my local Marks & Spencer store due to the intimidating security staff following me everytime I am shopping there. I have no idea what I am doing to attract their attention but clearly they have singled me out as a potential shop lifter, I find their behaviour very intimidating. This is not an experience I have had at any other supermarket. I know some of you will say but if you are not stealing anything why let it bother you, these security men are blatant in the way they watch you to the point that other shoppers notice. Maybe its because I take my own carrier bags which is what M & S have encouraged us to do,whatever the reason for being followed everytime I've had enough and won't be giving M & S my business anymore, AIBU?

OP posts:
sausagerollmodel · 26/02/2011 20:31

OP are you putting shopping straight into your own shopping bags while going round the shop? Because I know security staff don't like you doing this, it looks to them as if you're trying to steal. Can you not hang the bags on the trolley? Or put them in your handbag folded up and only get them out after you've paid? I know itt seems unfair especially as we're (supposedly) encouraged to bring our own bags. But if you are doing this it could be the reason why they are suspicious.

fruitshootsandheaves · 26/02/2011 20:35

I never get followed? why? am i really ugly, smelly or just boringly honest looking?

IveStillGotIt · 26/02/2011 20:46

YANBU!!! THIS GETS ON MY FUCKING TITS!!!!! Who the fuck do that NMW wannabe fuzz think they fucking are.
Do they get some kind of sick kick out of harassing woman and mothers!!!
I had only just turned 18 when I had DS, and whenever I went into snootburys, this fucking little jumped up prick was so far up my arse, if I farted the cunt would have smelt it!!!
I did actually turn round to him one day and say "WTF is your problem" and he just spouted stuff like "I'm only doing my job e.t.c" so I replied "so why are you following me and not her" (I pointed to some Boden clad middle class type mother), and he said that I was more of a security risk than her!!!
My blood was fucking boiling, I could actually feel steam coming out of my ears!!!
When I got to the till (the cunt was still following me, he stood right at the end of the checkout) and it came to paying for my items, I took ages getting my purse out, emptied out the contents of my handbag, picked up my payslips, and announced loudly "this is my payslips, because I WORK AND PAY MY WAY, I'm not a stereo-type teen mum who lives off benefits and shoplifts" whilst looking at straight at the prick! He still followed me everytime I went in there though!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 26/02/2011 20:53

If you had posted that on NMs it would have been invisible

oldraver · 26/02/2011 20:56

I've been followed once but led him a merry dance up and down ailes. I told the person on the till their security wasn't very discreet

I was going to say the same as Karma... go up to him/her and say you may as well be usefull and carry my basket if your going to follow me

SeeJaneKick · 26/02/2011 20:57

I was once in our local co-op with my DD in her pram and the shops in our high street are all inked up to a scurity centre andthey comunicate via radio.

The security voice came on as I stood in a long queue...it was asking shop staff to be aware of a

"Suspicious woman with a blue pram, black coat and boots and long dark hair in a ponytail...mid thirties..average height...she's got a pair of scissors in her handbag"

As the description went on, everyne was staring at me! It was describng me exactly (bar the scissors of course!)

I looked and said "It's not me! I haven't got any scissors!

And they all laughed in relief!

CaptainKirksNipples · 26/02/2011 21:08

You have no idea the amount of people who use kids and buggies as a distraction for shoplifting. Can be hidden like previous poster said about putting things in the hood of the buggy, or totally obvious where a mum hangs 2 economy packs of nappies over the handles then pays for a pack of baby wipes. Like she wouldn't realise the £20 saving!

A good idea is to make yourself known as a regular customer. If you are skulking about complaining about security guards then you will look like a shoplifter, normal shoppers don't care about security!

SeeJaneKick · 26/02/2011 21:11

Rubbish CaptinKirk...a good idea is for security officers to have training in customer relations and not tar ALL buggy users with thesame brush!

SeeJaneKick · 26/02/2011 21:15

And a for your "Like she would'nt realise 20 pounds saving"

Well I did almot exactly what you describe but not wit nappies...I put an item of clothing to hang over my hanles and then paid for my basket contents....I realised halfway across th car park and ran back inside.. I forgot...some people DO forget if they have the dstraction of kids and shopping to manage.

preghead · 26/02/2011 21:19

Lol at the scissors! That may have been a friend of mine, she used to walk around with an enormous pair of shear type scissors in her bag to open cartons of formula on the go. I was always telling her she'd get arrested

IveStillGotIt · 26/02/2011 21:20

thefirstMrsDeVere- I take it that was directed at me, lol! I've had a few, hence the effs and cees!!! Everytime I think about that incident (and similar others), I feel my body boiling, I'm actually sitting here with steam coming out my ears, I've had to ask DP to turn the heating off!!!

TheMonster · 26/02/2011 21:20

I went through a period of getting followed everywhere I went. I must have looked really dodgy for a while. It really pissed me off.

bringinghomethebacon · 26/02/2011 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainKirksNipples · 26/02/2011 21:32

Generally speaking normal shoppers don't draw attention to themselves or notice security. I manage a shop and spend a lot of time on the floor, one of the most obvious things about a shoplifter on entering a store is looking around at staff and not products. If I catch someones eye and they don't smile or ask for help they are watched until they leave the store. They are checking for staff in certain departments. We have a fabulous security officer, I only need to nod my head and he knows who to watch.

Seejanekick some people do indeed make honest mistakes, you probably were not acting suspiciously. If someone is being watched repeatedly at the same store they can't be purchasing items on a regular basis.

PurveyorOfWoo · 26/02/2011 21:41

bringinghomethebacon I do that too. Am often seen trotting round the supermarket with a buggy festooned with shopping. I do double check the nooks and crannies at the checkout though, and am a regular so I suppose the staff are used to me, they certainly seem to recognise the kids.

Either that or I just have an honest face (this may be true, I can't lie for toffee)

ItsJustAName · 26/02/2011 21:44

They always follow my son when we are there too - if we are together they follow us both, if we split, they follow my son. He does not even look like a 'typical' shoplifter.

CaptainKirksNipples · 26/02/2011 21:49

Teens steal things for a dare or for a laugh. Old people moan that they can't afford cod liver oil tablets on their pension. Shoplifters aren't necessarily feeding a drug habit. There isn't really a 'look', how you act is much more telling. You will be doing something that draws attention.

StealthPolarBear · 26/02/2011 21:52

lol at SeeJane :o

I did shoplift when pregnant
It was a pack of cotton wool balls, and I took them out of the shop in the huge basket, still hung over my arm

madamh · 26/02/2011 21:55

When this happens to me I usually start to play hide-and-seek: walk around the end of the aisle as quickly as possible and then take a big comedy step back into the aisle and smile encouragingly.

Tee2072 · 26/02/2011 22:04

I load my pram as well, heavy stuff in the basket on the bottom and usually a bag hanging off the handle and a shopping basket.

I have never been followed.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 26/02/2011 22:08

I once stole a 9 foot bamboo plant from Homebase. In my defence I was a bit medicated and I didnt do it on purpose. Its not like I tried to hide it. I still dont know remember how I did it.

Newgolddream · 26/02/2011 22:09

Ive never shoplifted but I can see why staff are suspicious of the buggys - its those god damned shoplifting toddlers that are to blame! My son managed to take - without my knowledge I add - half a dozen black plastic jumping toy spiders from a shop once - conveniently situated at buggy height in the queue for the till...I was too embarrased to take them back lol Blush

TheMonster · 26/02/2011 22:56

CaptainsKirksNipples how do you think I ask suspiciously? I don't look for/at staff!

GertieWooster · 26/02/2011 22:59

CaptainsKirksNipples those who seem to pay a lot of attention to the staff could well be mystery shoppers, paid by the company to see whether staff actually bother to acknowledge the customers and give could customer service or just accuse innocent shoppers of shoplifting

GertieWooster · 26/02/2011 23:00
  • should be good not could