to be fed up with MARKS & SPENCER security staff following me

[Iamnotashoplifter]

I have decided to stop shopping at my local Marks & Spencer store due to the intimidating security staff following me everytime I am shopping there. I have no idea what I am doing to attract their attention but clearly they have singled me out as a potential shop lifter, I find their behaviour very intimidating. This is not an experience I have had at any other supermarket. I know some of you will say but if you are not stealing anything why let it bother you, these security men are blatant in the way they watch you to the point that other shoppers notice. Maybe its because I take my own carrier bags which is what M & S have encouraged us to do,whatever the reason for being followed everytime I've had enough and won't be giving M & S my business anymore, AIBU?

I get it quite a lot too. I must look really dodgy.
I am in M&S two or three times a week to do a food shop and I'll sometimes pick up other bits and pieces but the staff follow me like the plague.

It is very very annoying.

sausagerollmodel, I had a M&S basket which I put the goods in, & I was carrying an empty M&S carrier to use once I had paid.
CaptainKirksNipples, I think one reason I was picked on was that I was taking a while deciding what towels I wanted to buy, there were so many to choose from, then they security guy appeared watching me, from that point I felt intimidated by him, he then appeared at every aisle I went to, making me feel uncomfortable to the point where I forgot what I wanted. I could'nt help but look at him as he was annoying me, maybe this eye contact made me look suspect. Its not the first time this has happened in this store, I dont think they train these people properly, I decided to complain as I felt this person was in my face to the point of intimidation, which is not what I want to experience when I go shopping. In my opinion I was not acting suspicious and if it happens to me again I will ask the person what am I doing to raise their suspicions or will that make me look even more suspicious I could carry on and ignore them but when you are aware of being followed you lose concentration plus they are making you feel like you are a criminal, there must be better ways to look for shoplifters rather than follow innocent shoppers.

I think madameh has the best idea - playing hide and seek with him! If he manages to keep up with you, tell him how well he is doing, and applaud a little.

I've stopped going into M&S - the whole experience is so unpleasant. Last time I was in there, the guy on the checkout berated me for wanting one of their plastic bags because it wasn't environmentally friendly.

Iamnotashoplifter- what did they say when you complained?
CaptainKirksNipples- It's abit hard not to stare at staff/security when they are stood right in front of you/behind you when you turn round, and are following you to the extent that other shoppers are aware, and start staring at you as well!
One occasion, when that prick I mentioned was stalking me, another customer actually came up to me and said "you better watch out, that security guards following you"
I'm sorry but INNOCENT shoppers have the right to spend their hard earned money in a store without being harassed/stalked, to the extent that it draws the attention of other shoppers.
I really think that security staff should have better training. If they have genuine reason to suspect someone, they should be more discrete and not make shoppers feel threatened.
Also they should not judge people by appearances, as in my case, being a teenage mum (who looked about 12) DOES NOT = shoplifter

people in shops always ask me where stuff is - why is this captainkirk??

I get followed every time I go into the Tesco Express opposite work. Ive been going in there for years. It's family run, and I know the till staff. (All of whom are lovely)
But the security guard sticks to my heels from the minute I get in the door. I'm usually wearing my work id, carrying a basket and have no place to hide any potential stolen goods.
I think he must fancy me!

OP and others. Are you all black? This is a sure sign of security staff suspecting stuff. Or, you are all highly fanciable....which?

i must just look like a shop assistant

What a hilarious thread. LMAO at iJudge being followed in Lidl and the ranty sweary woman and oh yes, her with the scissors.

I had a friend who was followed around Tesco every time she went in, much to her fury. I hadn't the heart to tell her that her stinking waist length dread locks, holey army fatigues and Swampy-esque complexion didn't exactly inspire the security guards with thoughts of 'Ah yes. Here comes that nice lady again to stock up on San Pellegrino and Bottom Butter.'

Lol moondog!

See in the situation with the towels I would probably have said to him that I was having trouble choosing a colour. Or "morning" and a smile. Either reaction would have probably put his mind at ease, and he would have left. A shoplifter would try and avoid him or get nervous.

I'm not sure what people think a 'typical' shoplifter looks like.
I think you'd be surprised by how many are well dressed middle aged women!

Tagging just leads to its own embarrassment for shoppers, because in places like my local Asda the workers on the till frequently don't deactivate the smaller 'stick on' ones and then the tags set the alarm off when you try to leave. Then you have to either let some security boy look in your bags, in front of everyone else in the shop, who are now all standing around gawping; or stand your ground and tell them they should train their till staff better and you don't agree to a search because you haven't done anything wrong and you want an apology from the manager - now. All very stressful.

These smaller tags can be attached to some relatively inexpensive purchases in Asda - batteries, razor blades, moisturiser - and they drive me nuts.

But I don't like the idea of being followed by a security guard either. Sounds creepy.

There is also a flip side to this situation, couple of my friends recently (male, female - tiny little woman, actually) have been stopped in a shop by random customers accusing them of being undercover police!!

I'm an amateur store detective. I notice people acting suspiciously, and tell staff if someone is obviously shoplifting. I can't help myself

Verity, that's because the posher stores either have cameras or well trained staff.

I worked in a very posh department store in the US, called Von Maur (it's a midwest only chain), and half the time I didn't even notice our security staff and I knew who they were! We also had several 'eye in the sky' stations around the store, tucked in the fitting rooms, so they could watch the floor.

I was followed for a short period of time in my local store.
My 9 month old nicked everything within grabbing distance; the minute my back was turned, and secreted it about her person.

I used to walk back and return it; if it hadn't been slobbered/gobbed on; or pay for it.

Thank God it's all over and she is now safe and sound in Borstal.

CaptainKirksNipples, I just ignored him or tried to, I dont see why I should have to confront him as I was doing nothing wrong, it was when I went elsewhere in the store he started to become annoying clearly following me. The store was'nt very busy so I guess he had to pick on someone, being tall maybe I stood out, I'm not from an ethnic background. Probably not a good idea to take my own bags for the shopping, but I dont see why I should have to pay for them at the till when I'm spending £50 or more. As this is my local store & a good one at that I am just a dissapointed that I cant seem to go in there without someone watching me, no other shop makes me feel this way, I will be writing to their customer services director, either they treat their genuine and loyal customers without intimidating them or lose my business.

ShatnersBassoon, are customers carrying their own carrier bags more likely to be targeted by you? Also I find in M&S many of the display units are positioned awkwardly in such a way they must encourage shoplifters.

Could go shopping naked I suppose