I'll try and keep this short/not too ranty. I'll also try not to take offence if it turns out IABU. Here goes...
The facts:
I work full time.
I am a single parent.
I have a daughter (almost 10) and a son (11).
My children spend every other weekend with their father.
I have a boyfriend of almost a year who doesn't live with us, but with whom the children and I spend most of our free time. He loves my children and they love him.
I have a large family (3 younger-but-adult sisters, one of whom has 2 children [my nephew is 6 and my niece is 1]).
Soooo...
My sister (the one with children) is forever trying to get me to do things at the weekends. When the children are home (her children spend the same weekends with their father as mine do with theirs), I know there'll be a text asking me if I want to go swimming/if my children want to sleep over/if my daughter wants to go shopping with her/if we want to go to the park.
If I say no, because we already have plans, I will invariably get some kind of PA "[her son's name] will be very disappointed. He wanted to see his cousins" text. It will turn into some kind of snipey and increasingly passive-aggressive (from her side) text-fest. Sometimes she'll go so far as prefacing her invitations with "[her son's name] has had a really hard time at school this week and was wondering whether the kids would like to stay over" (or similar). Or she'll ask me in front of him if it's in person. Basically trying to guilt-trip me into it.
On the weekends the children aren't home, she'll invariably text me halfway through a Friday or Saturday afternoon, telling me there's going to be some kind of family dinner/outing to the pub/girls' night out/whatever. I usually make plans with my boyfriend (who also works very long hours) on weekends the children aren't home. These are things like going out to dinner or the cinema, or for a day's shopping, that we can't/don't want to do when the children are home. So we deliberately plan them in advance for when they're not.
When I say no, I already have plans, I get more PA texts, more guilt trips and plenty of snidey "you never do anything with us/you always have other plans" comments. I don't always say no. But friends of mine have noticed it, and know what she's like to the extent where if she texts me in their presence they'll say "Pretend you haven't read it yet!"
I'm not particularly anti-social, but I work all day. I leave the house at 8.30am for the school run, and get back home at 7pm after picking the children up from wherever they are after school. On the weekends the children are home, it's nice to spend them chilling out as a family, doing things together just the 3 or 4 of us. My son, although he is very patient with my nephew, is at an age where he can't help but find him a little irritating sometimes, so although he loves him dearly, he doesn't necessarily want to have a sleepover with him. I don't get to see as much of my children as I would like, and it's nice just to hang out together at weekends.
My sister is a SAHM and is always trying to get out of the house because she finds it difficult to entertain the children. I understand this, but it doesn't mean that I am the same. She is very sociable and likes to be surrounded by people at all times. I like to have peace and quiet sometimes, and to chill out at home because I am so rarely there. She really doesn't seem to understand how I can just enjoy spending a nice quiet weekend at home with the bf and the kids. I think it's her worst nightmare!
I love my sister (and my niece/nephew) very much, of course. My sister would help anyone and is the kind of person who says hello to people in the street because she once met them in a post office queue or a hospital ward. She's helped me out a lot in the past with childcare and the like. She definitely has her faults, which may be another post for another time! But she's lovely.
So, I guess what I'm asking is AIBU to be irritated by the constant PA guilt-tripping when I say no to her?