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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to question the split of childcare cost with XP ?

131 replies

Gster · 25/02/2011 09:24

Should start of by saying I'm a guy. Not that I think it makes any difference here.

Split with XP recently, still trying to sort out access times and money amicably.

Although I currently give her £630pm + cost of shoes, half of DDs holiday costs, family meals out etc, I'm going to suggest I reduce it to the CSA calculation ( £350 ) and split any other DD costs 50:50 including nursery costs from September.

However, my XP, who is pretty well sorted financially with no mortgage and a hundred grand in the bank, want's me to split the childcare costs for when she's working.

She has a mothers dream job in media. Gets around £200ph and works anywhere betweene 2 - 10 hours a week. But if she has a one hour job for an hour in the morning she'll get childcare ( if granny can't do it ) in for the morning to cover.

She'd like me to pay 50% of this. Am I being unreasonable to think I should offer less than 50% of this ? She keeps telling me she's doing me a favour by looking after DD in the week and thus saving full time nursery costs.

OP posts:
veritythebrave · 28/02/2011 14:21

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Xenia · 28/02/2011 14:30

Depends on your life. If you've a full time nanny (see other thread son pay level) they might be costing you £20 k - 30k a year in after tax income to pay for full time childcare which is the cheapest optino if you have 3 children under 5, cheaper than 3 city full time nursery places.

ccpccp · 28/02/2011 15:05

You are being taken for a ride Gster.

Shes messing about with your access while she puts the emotional thumbscrews on for more money, knowing you are desperately missing your child.

FFS - she can earn 200 per HOUR. If she is worried about child care costs, she just needs to spend a bit longer putting her coat on as shes leaving the office! Shes on £3.33 per minute.

Unfortunately there are a lot of angry RPs like this, whining about all the sacrifices they are making to bring up your child while refusing any meaningful access. Maybe you should suggest a swap of roles and you have DD fulltime instead. See what she says Wink

Cut your payments to the CSA amounts, and use the money you save to provide a better experience when DD is with you. Your ex can afford it.

Flojo1979 · 28/02/2011 17:00

U seem so nice gster....R u single? Blush Grin

twopeople · 28/02/2011 17:25

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Gemmalindley · 01/02/2019 14:35

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