To think my XH should NOT be ringing me about this

[itisnotgoingwelltoday]

I am a regular but have name changed.

And this is an incredibly small petty thing but has annoyed me out of all proportion so I suspect IABU.

XH is picking DD up from school today and having her for tea etc.

He does this every Thursday afternoon.

There is an after school club - she goes every week.

He had the DC's at the weekend and dropped them to school on Monday morning, AND PAID FOR THE AFTER SCHOOL CLUB

So, I got a text from him "Can you please confirm asap if DD is at after school club today. I need to know what time to pick her up"

I texted back to say that yes, she was at after school club as usual.

He then phoned and said he just wasn't sure and he'd phoned me because he knew I would know.

AIBU to think he paid for the club, he sent the money in on Monday, it's not up to me to know what DD is doing on his watch?

no - she's moaning that when HE has arranged (and paid for) the activity on HIS time with his DD, that HE can't manage to work it out for himself.

FWIW - my exH was exactly the same when we were together and it irritated the hell out of me then that I was supposed to remember everything - evnen the stuff that was sod all to do with me.

Imagine if there had been a mix up.

'all he had to do was phone me to check'

No - I would ask him why he didn't phone the school to check. And the only person that could mix it up was him - because he knew the time, he paid for the club, etc etc.

BaroquearoundtheClock - that's it exactly

The arrangement is NOTHING to do with me - he wants her in after school club to suit his work hours, not me.

If the OP had gone in on Monday and paid for the club and taken the form back etc - then yes - I could understand why he may want to check (but even so a text would surely suffice -and no need to call as well?) - but that's not the case. He planned, and paid for it, for when it was his turn to have his DD.

And fwiw when it's "my" weekend and I'm filling in the form for the club I text him and say "Do you want DD to go to after school club on Thursday as usual"

And he replied the last time with "Of course I do. Why do you keep asking? Just assume yes unless I say otherwise"

That's how "solid" the arrangement is.

he's a twit OP - and I know exactly what it's like finding the "little" things like this most irritating. The big stuff I get cross over and then forget about it quickly, the little stuff - oooo that irks me no end.

BaroqueAroundTheClock - yes I feel like this too! The big stuff I can let slide, but this (which I know is a small issue and I know IABU to let it annoy me as much as it does) it relly really annoys me!

But this stuff goes on week in week out so it wears me down (as someone else said up the thread)

I think (having thought this after noon about it) it is also a little bit about control for him - he likes to know where I am and what I'm doing and it's an excuse to phone me.

Because I thought the text was more than adequate and I don't know why he phoned, but it was all blah blah blah about the club and then "so, what are you up to tonight? Doing anything nice" so maybe it's more about that, I don't know

Don't care enough to worry about it either

StewieGriffinsMom - I think you're right. I also think it's his natural thing to do - it's what I did all the time we were married, so he's used to it iyswim?

This is the man who used to phone me from his work, when I was at work, to ask me to make him a doctor's or dentist's appointment

As I've said, I'm over it, am just going to say "I don't know" the next time.

So, in conclusion, I think I have been U to let it get to me but not U in that he should've dealt with it himself

Good call, itisnotgoingwell - hope you had a nice glass of wine (or other restorative of your choice). :)