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Allow me this rant. My mother is sending me INSANE

96 replies

bupcakesandcunting · 22/02/2011 17:13

I've had my mother staying with me since last week as she is having a new kitchen and bathroom fitted. When I offered to put her up, I thought "oh it'll be lovely having nanna around for DS/someone to chat to in the mornings" etc etc.All it has done is conform why I would never, ever move back home if DH and I went tits up.

A selection of things she has done to wond me up this week;

  • Sat plucking her moustache in front of the telly last night whilst DH and I were trying to watch telly. Not even plucking it in front of a mirror, just sat there wildly plucking whilst gawping at the gogglebox...

-Used a tub of olive oil spread in 4 days, by spreading an inch-thick layer of the stuff every time she makes toast/hot cross buns.

  • After I cooked a roast dinner on sunday, went into the kitchen 2 hours later to rustle up a chicken sandwich. I laughingly told her she couldn't really be hungry and she accused me of serving up tiny portions Hmm (I don't, I just don't serve up the EU food reserves on one plate like some people...)
  • Asked if she could buy DS a cake from the shops. I said yes but just a small one as he'd wolfed a packet of buttons and a Curly Wurly that day. She returns with a Belgian bun the size of BELGIUM.
  • Flushed the bog at 6am despite my asking her not to as it renders the shower freezing for an hour afterwards and DH uses the shower at 6.15 (yes, I am getting that fixed but not until next week...)
  • Told me "that's bad" thsi morning when I explained AGAIN why she can't flush bog at 6am. So sorry that Hotel Cunting is not up to your exacting standards, ma'am.

-Constantly having digs at me about how I choose to parent my child.

  • Told me it was about time after I made DH a butty for work on Monday.
  • Keeps telling me that my house is too cold.It is not. The thermometer tells me as much.
OP posts:
GotArt · 22/02/2011 22:41

Oh god... do we really need to know... I bet she was wiping them on the arm of the chair... oh god, I'm so grossed out, really. Grin

Flisspaps · 22/02/2011 22:48

Mumlog Grin

bupcakesandcunting · 22/02/2011 22:57

Lol at Mumlog. Lol and a bit of sick...

I hadn't thought about the liberated moustache hairs Hmm Will be giving the battered Chesterfield a thorough cleaning tomorrow. With bleach.

OP posts:
Meow75 · 22/02/2011 23:24

curlymama

Thanks, I think!! Only thing is that I am probably about twice my ideal weight for my height. HOW on earth can I possibly absorb anything when it's running through my gut like lightning.

And as for a bout of dodgy guts - sometimes I feel like I've barely swallowed something before it wants to escape at speed.

Sorry for the hijack, Bup, but I was hoping to make it clear to curly and anyone else who might have taken any notice of my post that a fast moving gut ain't all it's cracked up to be.

reelingintheyears · 22/02/2011 23:54

Plucking your moustache hairs in public is bizarre......

The whole point of getting rid of the buggers them is that no one knows you had 'em in the first place.

So i you do it in private.

MadamDeathstare · 22/02/2011 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eden263 · 23/02/2011 00:00

YANBU. My mother got snowed in here that last bad snow we had. For a week. It was a very looooooong week. I've made DC promise that if I ever get like my mum, they'll have me PTS Wink

blinks · 23/02/2011 01:15

as a result of this thread, the future of my out of control moustache now terrifies me.

this could be me in twenty years, plucking my wiry tache in an uninhibited fashion, my son in law running for cover.

bupcakesandcunting · 23/02/2011 07:26

I am so glad that people are with me wrt the 'tache plucking. She really didn't understand the problem with it, but it is just rank. It keeps playing on my mind. This one is going to haunt me for the rest of my days.

OP posts:
UrsulaBuffay · 23/02/2011 20:56

You'll be plucking your tache one day thinking 'fucking hell, the day has finally come' Grin

bupcakesandcunting · 23/02/2011 23:13

Fucking won't.

I've ordered DH to send me to the glue factory should I ever plumb those depths of nil self-resepct Grin

OP posts:
isitmidnightalready · 23/02/2011 23:17

Guests and fish - they both start to stink after three days...

bupcakesandcunting · 23/02/2011 23:20

I have more updates but am shattered so will regale you tomorrow.

OP posts:
isitmidnightalready · 23/02/2011 23:22

You invited her so she could spend time with the kids. If I was you I'd enforce that and spend some time out of the house leaving her with the kids (rotten on the kids but they'll get over it. I find that the ten minute trip to drop the recycling or nip to the shop can sometimes take an hour or two......

Can't stop now - just got ot go and post a letter...

Acanthus · 24/02/2011 20:09

Ooh go on then?

Limara · 24/02/2011 20:33

bupcakesandcunting Well?! Grin

iscream · 02/03/2011 16:22
AnnyR · 02/03/2011 16:40

Just enjoying reading this whilst I pluck the forest from my chin ;)

MrsH75 · 02/03/2011 16:47

What age do you start getting a furry/stubbly face?

My daughter (5) told me I had a beard last night and I spent quite a while gawping into the mirror (even though she said "Only joking mummy") but couldn't see a thing.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/03/2011 16:54

I have a phrase in our house for any time of plucking/scraping/touching activity - I just look very pointedly at people (dh and dd) and say "Surely that's a bathroom activity".

I think a lot of things are 'bathroom activities'.

AnnyR · 02/03/2011 18:22

Just a few in my case MRSH75 but they started in my mid to late 40s :(

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