AIBU to wonder if there are any supportive and kind MNers?

[verbalreasoning]

I had high hopes when I joined MN that I would find a community of helpful, supportive, kind and caring people ... Mums in other words!

So far I have found a few witty and brilliant characters but mostly every thread I've lurked/posted on has been populated by violently opinionated and judgemental people.

Am I on the wrong threads or is the anonimity of MN the root of the problem. Where are all the nice mumsy types hiding? Are they just lurking so they don't get flamed?

Oooh nooooo... I don't do "motherly".

Wrong threads I think

I can argue myc ase like a maniac when needed, but can do supportive too.

Most peopel can, a few couldn;t be arsed if you were on fire. I avoid those.

Have PM with some ideas of thread where you may find more friendly/supportive people so as to avoid those not so nice posters going to those threads just to prove me wrong.

Not even to your DC Valhalla?

Nononononono, no 'motherly' here, no wholesome, no Cath Kidston, EVER!

Thank you gillybean2

omg-lovely and kind mumsnetters have helped me thru
Pregnancy at 43 and all the testing.
Childbirth
vile in laws
cleft palate
pnuemonia
poorly feeding baby

I have been moved to tears by the support i had when dd went back into hospital aged 6days.
I was on mumsnet after her birth as i couldnt sleep.

I like to think i have offerred support to others as well.

Glad to hear it ledkr!

I asm no good at sympathy really, but did spend an hour this morning looking for a half-term break for someone who's DH has cancer and can't travel abroad. I am generally better at practical things.

There are loads of lovely and helpful MNetters but they don't tend to do "fluffy". If your DH is an arse they will tell you. If YOU are an arse they will tell you.

If you agree that you are indeed an arse in these situations, you will have people falling over themselves to help. If you get all defensive and rude, god help you

I am far from fluffy myself

Its just that there has to be a middle ground somewhere - no?

Oh gawd, my DDs would be horrifically embarrassed if I did motherly to them, verbalreasoning.

They're teenagers, per-lease, they C B A with all, like, that.

I have a nearly 4 to German Shepherd who will never grow out of wanting to be mothered though. :o

Back on topic, I'm a believer in bouquets as well as brickbats so I guess they even each other out in the end, as with most on here.

its on line anonymous blah.not a therapeutic community

if your preference is nice mumsy types then you have to accept you may not necessarily find what you seek. as mn is open and diverse.but maybe thats the pleasure and pain

maybe go look at nicemumsyfrumps.com? if ye olde world mammies and precious moments are your thang

Perhaps I am just a bit sensitive today (funeral to go to tomorrow )?

I think the stock response is " if you just want people to be lovely and agree with you all the time, go to NetMums/Bounty"

I have made really good RL friends via MN. I have had some damn fine online arguments too. If you are having a crisis, I can think of no where better to go as a first point of call.

Bounty as in chocolate? Eh?

Sorry to hear you have lost someone, vr.

I am kind - I hope.

Tea?

Bounty - a NetMums type website full of huns and hugs and tickers and sparkly things.

So sorry about your difficult day tomorrow. I hope that you'll find comfort in family and friends and that the day will bring an opportunity to share happy memories.

Aww fanx
No really - glad its not all wall to wall cowbags on MN!
Bounty sounds ghastly btw!

Perhaps if AIBU was renamed "Bunfight" you'd approach it differently?

I'm pretty nice - and unlike some wouldn't say anything on here I wouldn't say to them in RL.

But I came here from a forum where it was all "there there hun" and it did my head in.

FYI, I am lovely, honest!

Ooh gosh, pressed post too soon. So sorry for your loss, I hope tomorrow goes OK.

Try Chat and something esoteric like Pedants' Corner, to build up your confidence in MNature again. Pedants' Corner is quite a nice example of MN's compartmentalising in such a way as to avoid giving offence: there is an unwritten rule that pedants go to PC to rant about spelling or grammar, but would not dream of attacking a poster on a thread anywhere else. That would simply be unkind. Someone recently started a rude thread about bad spelling/grammar, and was quite rightly told off for being unkind.

Try Chat on Friday and Saturday nights, with a glass of wine in your paw, and do remember to offer round the biccies.

Try Relationships, where you will see people being kind, investing in a poster and following her (generally her) for hundreds of posts and more than one thread (when a thread gets to 1,000, it is "full").

Start a thread about something funny you have heard your DC(s) say, and ask for other examples. People are very forthcoming and pleasant when they are on a light-hearted thread.

There can be arsery and bullying, but you can avoid it or challenge it.

Hope these hints help.

plupedantic - some useful tips - thank you!